Without You
by PerfectlyImperfect23
Summary: "If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you." - Winnie the Pooh. Four friends endure a struggle for survival that will test their friendship and change their lives forever. Angst/whumpage for all. Minor Language.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 1 - Band of Brothers

"_Well, listeners, I hope you are safe and sound in your homes, listening to this broadcast, because we have one freak of a snowstorm raging outside. And to all those who are on the road, find shelter as soon as you can. Drive slowly, carefully, and get home safely 'cuz roads are closing at an alarming speed. Here's Trent Ward with a look the snowfall with this blizzard."_

"James, can you turn down the radio, please?" Kendall asked, as he stared outside his window. His visibility was limited by the inches of snow covering his rear passenger window, and the free falling snow made it almost impossible to see anything beyond the thin glass anyway. Resting his head back against the seat, he was grateful for the silence. The radio report about the snowstorm began to unnerve the usual level headed leader, igniting in him an anxiety that was unknown to him. Unfortunately, the feeling of uneasiness could be felt throughout the entire car, taming the ever fun natured Carlos into a nervous mess. Even James, who always had something to say, was forced into silence. Stealing a glance toward the driver of the car, Kendall could only imagine that the slight anxiety he was experiencing was multiplied for Logan. Poor Logan, who had the unfortunate task of driving his four friends through a snowstorm, leaned over the steering in hopes of seeing through the constant snowfall. He was unusually quiet and calm, which for anyone who really understood Logan, knew that was a troubling sign.

"This is one crazy snowstorm," Kendall said aloud, hoping to ease the tension that was beginning to drive him insane. However, it had little effect. Carlos continued to stare out of the window in terror and James barely mumbled an incomprehensible response. To his surprise, it was Logan who offered him any response.

"I really thought we could beat the storm," Logan whispered, regretfully.

The four members of Big Time Rush had been offered their first real vacation away from LA and the prying eyes of Gustavo and Mama Knight due to good behavior and hard work. As natives of Minnesota, they missed the thrills of skiing and snow and had easily voted to spend their five days off at a ski resort in Salt Lake City, Utah. Their days had been filled with fun on the slopes (with their numerous attempts at the fateful Devil's Drop trails) and their nights had been occupied by impromptu acapella jam sessions around the lodge fireplace surrounded by their fans. They had even been able to play a game of two on two hockey on a freshly frozen pond right outside the lodge, instantly reminding them of home. All in all, their vacation had been amazing.

But near the end of their trip, weather reports came out about an impending snowstorm that would possibly strand the lodgers. It had been Logan's idea to leave earlier than they had originally planned once word of the storm spread. In an attempt to get home before the first snowflake fell, they had agreed to leave a day early. However, as fate would have it, the blizzard of the century had other things in mind, taking a sharp turn and arriving earlier than predicted. Now, they were forced to endure these harsh weather conditions. It was clear from the look on his face and the tone of his voice - the guilt of his decision was killing him.

"No one could have thought this would happen, Logan," James said, finally saying a full sentence in what seemed like miles. He placed a comforting hand on Logan's shoulder, hoping to stress the fact that fault didn't fall on him. "It's no one's fault but Mother Nature's."

"Yea, buddy, you're doing an awesome job," Kendall added from the back seat.

The words of encouragement worked. Logan's shoulders lowered in relaxation and his tight grip on the steering wheel loosened. As the inches of snow grew higher, feelings of self-doubt had started to creep their way into Logan's mind, breaking away at his confidence. However, hearing his friends believe in and trust him to get them home safely, a new found sense of purpose arose in him and he realized he couldn't let them down.

"Don't worry guys. I'm going to get us home safely," Logan replied, his voice so confident that even Kendall had to believe that Logan would do whatever in his power to make sure they made it home safe and sound.

"You promise?" Carlos questioned, his voice barely louder than a whisper as he spoke for the first time in hours. Logan took a quick peek into the rear view mirror to look at Carlos's scared face.

"I promise," Logan answered with such conviction that Carlos felt a small smile tug at his lips as he too began to relax.

With that, the suffocating tension in the car was released and the four best friends returned to normal, the car filling up with sounds of jokes and laughter in a matter of minutes.

"Hey, I really thought I could do it!" James said, as he recounted his horrible attempt at dating two girls on the same night. He cringed as the moment the two girls found out the truth replayed in his mind. He absentmindedly readjusted his pants at the thought of the first degree burns he sustained on his inner thigh from the hot chocolate one of the girls poured on him.

"James, didn't you learn anything from Logan?" Carlos replied, laughing as he remembered Logan's try at double dating.

"Yea, but I'm a better liar than Logan."

"Hey, I resent that. I just don't like lying. Honesty is the best policy."

"Naw, you're just a really bad liar," Kendall quickly interjected. He was enjoying the playful banter; it was something so routine for them. They were able to forget about the raging snowstorm they were driving through and simply concentrate on something concrete like their friendship. Seeing James return back to his cool and lax personality, Carlos assume his air of childish enthusiasm, and Logan release the weight of the world off his shoulder, allowed Kendall to finally relax himself, albeit slightly. He wouldn't allow himself to fully succumb to relaxation until he and his friends were back at the Palm Woods, in their apartment 2J, on their large orange sofa with Mom and Katie. Nevertheless, hearing the back and forth comments from his three best friends, Kendall couldn't help but feel a little more closer to home.

"Come on, guys! When is lying ever a good thing?" Logan asked, still trying to prove his case for truth.

"When it's for a good cause like getting me a date with the two prettiest girls at a ski lodge?"

"Or getting fruit smackers for all at the Palm Woods?"

Logan could only stare straight ahead with a look of mock astonishment at their responses. "Can I at least get you to back me up, Kendall?"

"Sorry, Loges. While I don't agree with their examples, there are a few times when lying isn't that bad. I mean, it got us our amazing apartment right?"

"Unbelievable. My best friends are all liars. It's a good thing that Camille and I believe so much in honesty -"

"Yes! Pay up, James!" Kendall exclaimed in the background, hand extend over James' shoulder, awaiting his payment. "I told you he couldn't go the entire car ride without mentioning Camille."

"Man!"

"Wait, you guys bet on me? That's what our friendship has become?"

"Wow, James, I would have never made that bet," Carlos snickered in the back, as he dug into back pocket for his last pack of Fruit Smackers. He quickly opened the package and stuffed the contents into his mouth. Upon seeing the now empty wrapper, his giddiness was gone. "I'm out of Fruit Smackers."

"Ah-ha! You lose, Logie," James said, ready to make back what he lost from Kendall. "I knew Carlos would finish all 15 packs of Fruit Smackers before we made it home."

"Carlos! What did I tell you about rationing?"

"But I was hungry! I can't ration when I'm hungry."

"Yea, yea, yea. Here you go, James," Logan replied, as he carefully pulled out a ten from his front pocket to place into James' awaiting hand. He took another quick glance into the rear view mirror to look at Carlos, and any sense of anger was gone instantly, as Carlos mouthed, "I'm sorry" to him through the mirror.

Logan just sat back comfortably in the driver seat, marveling at the inner workings of his friends and the fact that they just worked so well together. There was no denying that each of them had their purpose in the friendship and that without anyone of them, the whole thing would fall apart. He was just content in knowing that he would never have to find that fact out. Keeping his head straight, he distantly heard the words that were being exchanged between his three friends, but kept his mind solely on the road in front of him and maintaining a safe but steady speed. Unfortunately, the snowfall was now mixing with rain, worsening his visibility and forcing him to concentrate more on the road. In the distance he could make out the large outline of a destination sign. As he approached, he was relieved to see the sign read that they were merely five miles away from California. James also made note of the sign's inscription, as he let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Whew! Yes, five more miles until we're out of this horrible weather and back to sunny California," he said as he placed his sunglasses on top of his head like the clouds would open any minute to reveal the hidden sun.

"I hope that means we're close 'cuz after sitting in this seat for the last eight hours, my butt's starting to get numb from inadequate blood flow," Kendall replied, gently shifting in his seat to regain feeling to that sensitive area. He pretended not to see the stares he got from his friends as he enjoyed the feeling and continued to take the attention off himself. "So, Logan, use that calculator you call a brain and figure out just how long we have until we can get home."

"Well, if I maintain this speed through the rest of drive, it could be maybe four hours. But calculating the change in weather conditions we will most likely experience when we reach California and the resulting change in speed, we could be back at the Palm Woods in three hours," Logan recited back, as if he had just been asked something simple like 2 plus 2.

"Awww man! Three hours?!" Carlos exclaimed, his voice full of panic. "I can't go three hours without any Fruit Smackers! I'll starve! I'll go hungry and die! I won't be able to make it! I'll -"

"Carlos! We still have the corn dogs in the cooler under the seats in the back," James cut in.

"Oh yea! Ok, I'll survive," Carlos replied.

James could only scoff at the entire exchange, but the knowledge that they could be home in a few hours did manage to bring a smile to his face. While the past several hours on the road had been tense and uneventful, he was happy to share these moments with his friends, enjoying their company and their time away from being Big Time Rush. While he loved the band and was thankful every day for this opportunity, he missed the times when they were just four hockey playing, trouble making best friends. And for the past five days they had been just that - emphasis on trouble making as he remembered the massive snowball fight they started at the lodge that resulted in everyone at the resort taking part. He cringed inwardly as he anticipated Gustavo's reaction to impending bill for all the damages. James was pretty sure Gustavo would pop a blood vessel, but heck, he wouldn't take anything back.

The thought of their ill-tempered manager sparked an idea in James's mind.

"Hey guys, since we're almost home, we should probably run through a couple of the demos for the new CD Gustavo gave us before we left. Maybe it could get him in a good mood before he gets that bill from the ski lodge," James said as he searched the glove compartment for the CD case he had haphazardly threw in there upon their departure.

"Who knew a standing stuffed bear could cost $1200! It's not our fault that a snowball knocked it down and it fell into the lodge fireplace. It should have been securely placed," Kendal remarked, remembering the unbelievable prices that were on that bill. "But yea, you're right James. Being prepared for our session on Monday will definitely appease Gustavo."

As the other members of the group agreed, James inserted the CD in the player, and listened as Gustavo's voice sang a slow tempo love song. While hearing Gustavo sing about love would forever mar his mind, Logan couldn't help the feelings of longing that took over him as he paid attention to the words.

"Camille would love this song," he said without thinking.

"Ah, Logan! You're killing me!" Carlos yelled from the back seat, just as Kendall let out a victorious laugh.

"Pay up, Carlitos."

"I thought you said you would never take that bet?" James questioned.

"I didn't think he would say her name twice!" Carlos said, as he grumpily retrieved ten dollars from his back pocket to pay his dues.

"What can I say? I know Logan!" Kendall replied.

"Glad to see you can make a profit out of our friendship, Kendall," Logan replied, his voice filled with playful annoyance. "Now can we go back to practicing these demos?"

Three different sounding voices replied back their affirmation as they continued to listen to the track. Within a matter of minutes, pitches and harmonies were arranged and the car was filled with the boys singing. Their voices blended well together and complemented each others' strengths and weaknesses. While James's and Kendall's voices were rich and deep, Carlos and Logan added a soft and gentle tone that provided a lightness to the song. There was no denying that they just sounded beautiful together.

They had almost managed to finish practicing the first track, preparing for the final run through, when a bright light cut through the back windshield. Turning his head, Kendall saw a large grey van quickly approaching from behind. By the fast speed, Kendall could tell the driver was not paying any mind to the hazardous weather conditions, his tires cutting through the snow effortlessly. However, the haphazard driving definitely concerned Kendall.

"Uh, Logan..." Kendall said, turning his head back to face the driver, but one look at the rear view mirror, he could tell from Logan's eyes that he was already aware of the approaching vehicle.

"Yea, I see him Kendall. Maybe he'll slow down once he gets closer and realizes the speed I'm driving," Logan replied, hoping his voice sounded more confident than he felt. The large van that was up behind him fast was definitely unnerving him, but he couldn't let his friends see him crack. They had to believe that he was in control.

Stealing a glance at his car door mirror, James was alerted as well to the fellow driver's risky driving. He patiently waited for the van to slow, but as the distance between the two vehicles grew smaller and the van came closer, James realized a troubling fact.

"He's not slowing down, Logan."

Logan looked into the rear view mirror once again to see the headlights of the van dangerously close to the back of his car. He increased his speed slightly to distance himself from the obtrusive vehicle, aware of what the speed adjustment could do in the inclement weather. He watched the speedometer inch toward thirty-five mph, which was already ten mph over what was recommended in this weather, and tried to focus entirely on the road. However, the safe distance that he had achieved by speeding up didn't last long. Not even a minute later, the van resumed its previous position directly behind the smaller car.

"Logan, maybe you should -"

Whatever Kendall was about to say was cut off by the harsh sound of metal colliding, as the two cars made contact with each other. The occupants of the car screamed in surprise from the hard impact, which caused their bodies to jolt forward. Logan tightened his grip on the wheel to gain control of the car as it threatened to swerve from the push.

"What's happening?" Carlos exclaimed.

"Omigod! Omigod! He hit us! And he's still racing behind us! Is he crazy? Is he trying to kill us?" Logan shrieked, forgetting all about keeping his cool for his friends. A maniac with a large van just rear-ended them that was ample reason to panic.

"What the hell is the matter with you?!" James shouted, his head sticking out this window. "Don't you see it's snowing? Slow down!"

"James! Logan! Relax guys," Kendall said, the ever-present voice of reason. He wouldn't admit to his friends but the moment that van made contact with the car that uneasy feeling of anxiety returned. That unwelcomed sense of doubt for their safety and the fear that they wouldn't make it home resurfaced. "Logan, just speed up. He's obviously not going to slow down, so just increase your speed and keep a safe distance from the van."

Logan didn't like the mechanics of that plan. With the snowfall picking up again, Logan knew from chemistry that the water from the previous rain fall would turn to ice patches on the road now due to the rapid decrease in temperature. And due to his many lessons in physics, he understood that an increase of the speed on a surface that lacked a proper force of friction would result in an inability to properly stop the car. However, it was better than their current situation of being rear-ended by a crazed driver. He slowly increased the speed to forty, and waited to see if that had been enough of a change to distance them from the van. Unfortunately, the van continued to tailgate, and upon seeing the two bumpers about to touch once more, Logan softly pressed on the gas to increase the speed. His palms felt sweaty as he gripped the steering wheel, trying to maintain control of the vehicle on the snow covered road. It was getting difficult for him to maintain proper control at this rate; he could feel the tires whine in protest as the wheel told them one direction, but the slick ground pulled them toward another. He prayed that he could keep this up for as long as needed, but when he looked at the mirror and saw the van remained in its previous position, he knew Kendall's plan would not be able to work.

"Kendall, he's going too fast. I can't keep the speed up, I'll lose control of the car if I go any faster. We need to figure out something -"

The car shook again as the van collided once more with the rear bumper, and again, Logan had to use every bit of concentration to keep the car from spinning out of control. While it skidded and the tires screeched in anguish, Logan was able to maintain his handle of the wheel and reorient the car.

"Stop it! Make it stop Kendall! Make it stop," Carlos cried, pulling his helmet lower onto his head in an attempt to cover his ears from the harsh sounds the collision caused. He didn't like the loud sounds, the shouting, and being flung around the seat every time the van hit the car. But he absolutely hated the suffocating fear that was slowly taking over him, the horrible choking feeling that threatened to overcome him. He hated to be afraid, never wanting to adopt the role of scaredy cat that he had been casted for ever since he was five. But at the moment, with a crazy driver repeatedly assaulting the back of their car, threatening their safety and their chance to make it home, Carlos could care less of the blubbering mess he was becoming. His breaths came in short gasps and he could feel his heart beat fast against his ribcage. He remembered other times when his fear reached these levels. He had always had his friends to help him control his breathing and utter soothing words to calm him down. But as he looked to his three best friends for help, he was scared to see that their faces matched his own and sadly realized they all were going to need soothing words to calm down.

"Oh God! Kendall, what the hell do I do?" Logan asked.

Kendall felt the air inside the car get thinner and thinner, finding it difficult to think coherently. He was vaguely aware of Logan saying words and could see his mouth moving from his seat in the back, however, the words didn't make any sense. How was Kendall supposed to know what to do? Logan was the smart one, he knew all the answers. How could Kendall make it stop? He wasn't in control of the van driver; he couldn't make it stop. Kendall soon felt his hold on reality slowly weaken, where he had been sure footed just moments before, now he stood on shaking and buckling legs. He wanted desperately to help his friends, to take away the looks of fear and panic that were preventing the laughs and happiness that were present mere minutes ago, but he didn't know how! And that fact frightened him. But he knew would have to try something.

"Carlos, relax, buddy. It's gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay," Kendall said, grabbing a hold of his hand. While he doubted their well-being, he couldn't taint Carlos's innocence or naivete. He gave it a light squeeze and was relieved to see a slight smile on Carlos's face from the gesture. Not moving his hand away, he turned his attention to Logan. "Ok, Loges, I want you to move as far right as you can and let the van pass you on the left side."

"I-I can't! The road is too narrow; there's not enough space," Logan replied. Upon hearing Logan's words, Kendall leaned forward and surveyed the road. Just as Logan had described, they were advancing on a narrow stretch of road that only allowed one car to pass through clearly. While there was still space on either side of the vehicle, it would be extremely difficult for both cars to fit side by side. This was one of the few moments in their friendship that he wished Logan wasn't right as he let out deep sigh of frustration. He could feel Logan's eye on him through the rear view mirror, pleading with him to come up with a plan.

"We have to at least try. James, do me a favor. Look out your window while Logan moves the car over to the right side and let him know he gets too close to roadside," Kendall replied.

"Yea, ok, Kendall," James responded, eager to help in any way.

He quickly assumed a position that gave him the best look at the road side and encouraged Logan to keep moving the car, "You're good, a little bit more. Just a little bit more. Ok, stop!" He turned his head hoping to see the van take their invitation to pass them, but instead the driver remained in the center of the road as if oblivious to open space available on the left side. "Why isn't he going?" James questioned, asking no one in particular, since he knew his friends were as clueless as he was.

Kendall could just look back in shock. He was out of ideas on how to get this crazed driver from tailing them. Opening his window, he leaned forward and moved his arms to the left in hopes of pushing the driver to go toward that direction, and yet, the van continued at its current speed and its current position. Kendall returned to his seat in utter amazement at the weirdness of the situation, unable to fully comprehend how they got themselves into this predicament.

"Don't worry guys. Hopefully, we'll reach two way traffic soon, and we'll be able to free ourselves from this maniac driver. Carlos and I will keep a close eye of the van and make sure he doesn't get too close. If he does, we'll just tell you to speed up every now and then," Kendall said, hoping his voice didn't betray him. He needed his friends to believe in his plan even though he didn't believe it himself. "We're going to be just fine."

The words had barely left his mouth when his body was propelled forward into the passenger seat, as the van made contact with the car a third time. This time Logan, holding unto the wheel with so much force his knuckles turned white, was unable to keep the car from skidding. He turned the wheel and used all his muscles to adjust the car into a straight position. However, no matter which direction he turned, the car continued to skid. Logan tried everything in his power to stop the car, forgetting all about the speeding car behind him. All he wanted to do was end his friends screaming, to get rid of the sounds of terror that were escaping their mouths from this horrible nightmare. Yet, even that seemed impossible as he tried to gently press on the brake to no avail. The car seemed to have a mind of its own, no longer taking commands from the wheel. The tires screeched, the occupants screamed as all desperately waited for the moment when everything stopped.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the car decreased its speed, as it skidded to a halt in the middle of the road, perpendicular to the long stretch road. Everyone was silent, only the deep pants of breathe could be heard, as each tried to regain their composure. Whether it was shock or terror, no one wanted to say anything. They all remained lost in their thoughts trying to make sense out of what just happened.

"Is everyone ok?" Kendall asked, breaking the silence that had engulfed the car. The events of the last ten minutes still remained a mystery to him but the well-being of his friends was his number one priority.

"Yea... I think so," Logan answered, shakily. Turning his head to face Kendall, he stopped as he noticed James's blank stare toward him. "James, what's wrong?"

His mouth moved up and down as he struggled to produce any sound. Logan, assuming it was just a delayed reaction to the shock, prepared to question him further about whatever has troubling him. However, James was able to produce a single word in a voice so small and full of fear that forced Logan's question to die on his lips.

"Logan..." James whispered, as he pointed a finger in Logan's direction. Not at Logan, but past him. He followed James's line of vision to see the grey van speeding toward the small car. Logan had no time to process and register the information his eyes were sending his brain. The bright headlights of the speeding van heading straight for them paralyzed him and all he could do was stare back with wide eyes.

"Oh God..."

And then impact. The van rammed into the front end of the driver's side, sending the car into a tail spin toward the roadside. The horrible sound of metal colliding at high speed cut through the silence of the roadway. All four friends were flung back and forth, hitting whatever object stood in their way to stop the momentum caused by the forceful collision. As the car continued its tailspin, all the occupants of the car were unaware of its final destination as it head straight for the wooded trees.

The metal released a high pitch groan as the small car, crashed into the tall unsuspecting oak. The windshield imploded instantly sending dangerously large shards of glass into the car, showering the occupants. The front of the car was crushed, sending two feet of metal into the body of the car. The steering wheel and the dashboard became a jumbled mess, and Logan felt both crush into his body seconds before the air bag exploded into his face, rendering him unconscious. James felt a fiery hot pain erupt in his leg at the impact, so intense, he welcomed the darkness it brought and too lost consciousness. The sound of James's scream of anguish was unheard by Carlos, who was propelled forward out of his seat, forcing his head and nose to make direct contact with the driver's seat. He returned back to his seat, slumped over, knocked out and covered in blood. His body rested next to Kendall, whose entire right side slammed into his car door, sending a sharp, yet novel feeling to run down his right arm. The impact also caused his head to hit the rear passenger window, forming a spider web crack throughout the glass. Through fogged eyes, he saw his friends. He knew they needed him. But the pull of unconsciousness was too powerful, even for the strong minded Kendall, and he closed his eyes in defeat, surrendering to the darkness.

As quickly as the crash occurred, the road was silent once again. The snow continued to fall, and for everyone else, life returned to normal. But for the four members of Big Time Rush, each of them knocked out and oblivious to their injuries, life would never be the same again.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 2 - The Promise of Friendship

The snowstorm continued to rage on, causing snow to pile on the wrecked car wrapped around the tall tree. The four friends remained still in their spots, unmoving; their faces void of any emotion and unaware of the dangers they were about to face.

Logan's body seemed broken. His head pressed against the inflated airbag, while his arms hung loosely to his side. He was facing James, and if his eyes were open, he would have been able to see the slack facial features. James, whose face was littered with bleeding cuts and forming bruises, remained slumped in his seat, unaware of the growing red stain soaking his jeans. Similarly, Carlos's shirt was blood stained, the gushing wound on his head and nose coloring his shirt maroon. His helmet, which had been on his head prior to the accident, had flown off from the impact and now laid forgotten near Kendall's still body. Kendall leaned against the car door, his head resting against the broken window, his mouth slightly agape. With each breath, a small circle of condensation would form every now and then. All in all, as the snowflakes came down in hundreds, dancing and moving through the air, the same movements could not be found within the car.

In fact, the only sign of movement was the slight twitch in Kendall's eyes as he continued to fight the tight hold of unconsciousness. In the back of his mind, he knew he had to wake up; he understood that something horrible had happened to his friends and his friends needed him. But no matter how hard he tried, his mind would not allow him to awake. Instead, a memory replayed, running through his mind like a movie reel in his subconscious.

* * *

_It was their freshman year of high school and the day started like any other. The four friends met early in the day at James' house for their usual walk to school. _

_"James! Come on, man! Your hair looks perfect," Logan yelled, as he waited impatiently for James to come down the stairs so they could leave for school. "We're going to be late! Some of us actually want to be on time for school you know!"_

_"Logan, we have like 20 minutes until homeroom and it's only a 10 minute walk! We'll be fine," James called back. "Now, let me finish my hair!"_

_"Yea, and I think you're the only one who wants to be on time for school. Heck, I think you're the only one who even wants to go to school," Kendall replied, walking behind Logan and playfully ruffling his raven hair. _

_"Not true!" Carlos spoke up, momentarily leaving his bowl of cereal. "Don't worry, Logan, I want to go to school too. They're serving corndogs and tarter tots today for lunch. I can't wait!"_

_Logan couldn't help but smile at the response and merely muttered, "I need new friends," as Kendall laughed and Carlos innocently returned to stuffing his face with Captain Crunch Berries. He looked at the clock once again and groaned when he read the time. He turned to yell back up to James, but was surprised to find him already at the door with his backpack slung over his shoulders. _

_"Well come on, you slowpokes," James said, tapping his watch in haste. "We're going to be late for school if you guys keep lollygagging." _

_Seconds later they were out the door and began their trek toward the high school. The walk was uneventful, just their usual playful banter and conversations about hockey. _

_"Did you guys see the Minnesota Wild's game last night?" Kendall questioned._

_"Heck yea, I saw it! That 5-on-3 shorthanded goal was awesome. Best goalie in the league my butt," James remarked. _

_"How about that game winning overtime goal with less than two seconds left on the clock? Epic! Totally worth not finishing my history paper," Carlos replied. _

_"Yea, it was a great game. Best game of the ye - wait," Logan began before he stopped mid-sentence and mid-stride. "Carlos, you didn't do your history paper?"_

_Carlos cringed under the question while James and Kendall gasped in over exaggerated shock at the news. They all knew Logan hated it when any one of them didn't do their homework, something about wasting his potential. Kendall was pretty sure that Carlos had no intention to mention that to Logan, but it slipped out and due to his bat like hearing, it didn't go unnoticed to him._

_"Uhhh, not necessarily. You see, I did do my history paper. I just didn't finish it," Carlos answered sheeply, as he gave Logan his best puppy dog face, hoping it would save him from being lectured. It had worked; Logan's anger seemed to vanish from his face. _

_"When do you have history today?"_

_"Last period."_

_"Great! We have a free period together before lunch. We can meet in the library and I can help you finish your paper," Logan said. _

_"Awww, thanks, Logan! You're the best!" Carlos exclaimed energetically, almost knocking Logan down when he tried to give him a thank you bear hug. _

_"Carlos, get off me!" _

_They continued their walk to school and had made it on time just like James predicted. They ran through the school doors just as the warning bell rung. They said their goodbyes and headed to their lockers. Kendall turned to ask Logan a quick question before he went toward his classroom when Logan was grabbed by his backpack and slammed against the wall. It was Bruce Michaels, a junior who made it his mission to torment Logan daily. Kendall saw the exchange and tried to make his way over to the helpless Logan, but the halls were so crowded with students rushing to their classes, he was lost within the wave of people. Fortunately, he was close enough to hear the exchange between the bully and his best friend. _

_"Mitchell! I've been waiting for you. Did you do my algebra homework like I told you?" Bruce said, more like yelled into Logan's face. Logan had to move his head to the side to prevent any of Bruce's spit to enter his face. _

_"Uhhh, you see, Bruce... I kinda... You see what had happened... Uhhh, I kinda didn't do it," Logan stuttered, his voice full of fear. From a distance, Kendall could see Bruce's face turn an angry shade of red and continued his efforts to break through the crowd to reach them. Bruce's anger must have been evident to Logan as well as he quickly attempted to appease the taller kid before he beat him up. "But! B-but I can help you with it. I-I-I can give you tutoring lessons and help you understand -"_

_"You calling me stupid?!" Bruce yelled, grabbing Logan from his shirt and lifting him off the ground._

_"What? Stupid? No! No, no, no! No! Your... Your not.."_

_"Oh, you are going to get it, Mitchell!" Bruce replied, his large beefy hand raising up and balling into a fist. Logan stared helplessly at the hand, waiting for it to make contact with his face. However, another hand wrapped around Bruce's wrist, stopping the downward swing of force in mid motion. _

_"I wouldn't do that if I were you."_

_"Knight," Bruce whispered. He turned his head slightly and was not surprised to see Kendall's smiling face staring at him._

_"The one and only. And, like I said, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Kendall repeated, as he pointed toward three teachers making their way down the hall. Bruce's face paled and Kendall received the reaction he had been waiting for. "Now, I suggest you let Logan down gently and you go your merry way to homeroom."_

_If Bruce had been an animated character, Kendall was sure smoke would have came out of his nose and his head would have erupted like a volcano out of angry. Instead, he followed Kendall's suggestion and returned Logan back to the ground. However, as he turned his back to make his way down the hall, he had some parting words. _

_"I'll get you Mitchell. You're little friends aren't gonna be around all the time to help you," Bruce said, menacingly._

_"Whatever, jerk!" Kendall yelled back, watching Bruce's retreating figure. He turned to Logan, and helped him straighten up his clothes. "Well, Logie, it looks like we can't leave you alone for two seconds without you getting into trouble. I might have to assign myself as your bodyguard."_

"_I don't need a bodyguard, Kendall. I can take care of myself," Logan replied, in an annoyed tone. Kendall knew that Logan always hated to be rescued from his countless encounters with bullies, so he wasn't surprised by Logan's attitude and indifference at his comment._

_"I know. I just don't want you to get hurt," Kendall replied, sincerely. "But, fine, I'll hold off before I go all Kevin Costner on you. Just promise me you'll watch your back and take care of yourself."_

_"Yes, dad, I promise," Logan said, just as the bell, signaling all the students to their homeroom, had rung. "Now let's get to class before they mark us late. And Kendall, no more watching _Lifetime _with your mom. I mean, you just referenced __**The Bodyguard**__."_

_"Yea, that stays our little secret."_

_The rest of the morning was unexciting. Kendall went from class to class, joking around with James in Geometry, falling asleep with Carlos while their teacher read __Hamlet__ in English, and pretending to take notes with Logan in History. He attempted to question Logan further about any other run-ins with Bruce, but Logan had raced out of class to meet Carlos at his locker. Kendall didn't think anything of it. There was only one class remaining until they all had lunch together; he was resigned to ask Logan then and headed toward the locker room to get ready for Phys. Ed._

_"Ewww, you stink!" James said, as Kendall approached his locker after his Phys. Ed class. They had played field hockey and Kendall's team crushed his opponents 23-7 with Kendall scoring 11 of those goals himself. _

_"Hey, to the victor goes the spoils," Kendall replied, raising his arms in victory. _

_"Yea, more like spoiled milk and rotten eggs! Why didn't you shower after gym class?"_

_"'Cuz Logan and Carlos are waiting for us in the cafeteria and I'm starving! Come on! Let's go."_

_"Uh-uh! I am not walking around with you smelling like that. We might run into a cute girl and she might think I smell like a pair of rotten sneakers," James retorted. He turned into his locker and retrieved a can of Barracuda Man Spray. "Here, spray some of this one. It will have you smelling like daisies." _

_Kendall shook his head to refuse the offer, but James took matters into his own hands and sprayed an unhealthy amount of the strong smelling fragrance all around a choking Kendall._

_"James! You're killing me!" Kendall choked out in between throat hacking coughs. _

_"Trust me. You'll thank me later," James said, satisfied at his handiwork. He gently placed the can into his locker as if it were the "Holy Grail" and slammed the locker shut. "I'm starving. Let's eat."_

_They made their way to the cafeteria, mingling in with the other members of the freshman class as they headed to lunch. Once they made it to the cafeteria, they immediately headed to the long lunch line to grab food, thankful Carlos and Logan had a table waiting for them. While on the line, Kendall saw Cynthia Johnson looking in his direction. She quickly turned her head once she saw Kendall glance her way. Thinking nothing of it, he continued to grab his lunch favorites and made his way to checkout lines. To his surprise, Cynthia appeared right in front of him. _

_"Kendall!"_

_"Oh, Cynthia!" Kendall said back, startled as to why one of the most popular and prettiest girls in their class was standing in front of him. _

_"Wow, Kendall, you smell amazing. We should definitely hang out sometime," Cynthia replied, her eyes looking him up and down like he was a rack of prime rib. She pulled out a small card with her name and number. "Give me a call so we can set that up." _

_And with that she left, only pausing to twirl and give Kendall a flirty wave goodbye. Kendall stood frozen in his place, unaware of the moving line and the three students who cut in front of him. He tried to convince himself that the last minute really did happen, the card in his hand and the pinch he gave himself to the thigh giving him proof enough. Cynthia Johnson wanted to go on a date with him._

_"I'm not gonna say I told you so," James said, creeping up behind an unsuspecting Kendall. "But... I told you so."_

_"What?" Kendall replied, taking James' presence as he his wake up call. He went back to his place on the line and waited patiently as the cashier rung up a shy kid ahead of him. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that your silly man spray got me a date with Cynthia Johnson?" _

_He scoffed at the thought, completely deeming James' theory as irrelevant, until he saw two other pretty freshman girls point and stare in his direction. Their actions did not go unnoticed to James, who simply stared triumphantly, knowing that he was right for once. _

_"Heck, this is nothing. Wait until you try the whole line of Barracuda Man products. You'll have girls flocking all over you in no time. You'll be saying 'Betta wear your cuda' before you know it." _

_"Oh, the horror! Come on, Romeo, we don't want to keep Logan and Carlos waiting. Besides, I want to tell you guys about my amazing field hockey game," Kendall replied, leading James out of the serving line and into the dining area of the cafeteria. He quickly scanned his eyes through the sea of clattering students, hoping to spot Carlos' helmet or Logan's hair. However, after that didn't work, they roamed around the large room for them. _

_"Where are they?" Kendall asked after their second lap around the cafeteria yielded no results. "Carlos and Logan always save a table for us when they have a free period before lunch. I don't see them."_

_"Maybe they got stuck in the library. Remember, Logan offered to help Carlos finish his history paper. It probably took them longer than expected," James answered, stuffing a handful of tater tots into his mouth while he took a seat at an abandoned table. Kendall absentmindedly followed suit, placing his tray on the table a little harder than intended as he processed what James had said. _

_"No," Kendall replied, shaking his head. "Logan usually sends us a text if he gets stuck in the library. And Carlos has been looking forward to tater tots and corndogs since they made the announcement on Monday. He would have been the first on line. Something's wrong."_

_Kendall couldn't explain it. It was an indescribable feeling that slowly crept over him. It was a feeling that something bad either had happened or was going to happen, and the fact he couldn't see Carlos or Logan in front of him to know that they were safe, made that feeling ten times worse. Grabbing his cell phone, he quickly dialed Logan's number and was surprised to hear the call go straight to voicemail, indicating his phone was off. _

_"I can't reach them. Logan's phone is off," Kendall said, unable to get the worry out of his voice. "I have a bad feeling, James."_

_"Well, I know better than to go against one of your feelings," James said, pushing his tray aside and standing to stare down at the pondering Kendall. "So where are we off to?"_

_The smile on Kendall's face appeared instantly. The blind faith his friends had in him always left him speechless. The way they simply trusted his word whole-heartedly and without question made him feel proud to call them his friends. Seeing James eagerness to follow his intuition, Kendall jumped up from his seat and ran out the cafeteria, lunch trays forgotten on the table. They sped up the stairs, taking some steps two at a time, and blazed through the hallway to the library. _

_"Ms. Lit!" Kendall yelled, a little louder than he had hoped as he momentarily forgot where he was. The scolding look from the middle aged librarian quickly reminded and he sent her an apologetic look as he continued. "Ms. Lit, have you seen Logan or Carlos in the library today?"_

_"Hmmm, today? No, I haven't seen them, Kendall. And I'm surprised too. Logan always comes on Tuesdays during his free period to help me arrange the books back into the shelves. That boy sure knows his Dewey Decimal System. A fine young man he'll grow up to be." _

_She continued to talk about Logan in a tone of admiration, but her words went unheard by James and Kendall. They had stopped listening once she had denied seeing their two friends, everything else not mattering since Carlos and Logan were missing. They simply stared at each other, the same question running through their minds - Where are they?_

_"Uhh, thank you, Ms. Lit," Kendall replied numbly._

_"Oh, Kendall. When you do see Logan, tell him I have that book on the solar system he's been waiting for," she said back before returning to her paperwork. _

_They exited the library quickly and calmly. But once outside, James began to understand the severity of the situation. "Something's wrong."_

_"I know."_

_"No, something is really wrong. Logan loves the library. He does everything in the library. He spends every free period in the library. And if he didn't go into the library today, then something is wrong," James went on, as he paced back and forth in front of a row of lockers. Kendall leaned against the locker, sliding down and sinking to the ground, he stared at the pacing James, knowing that it was his nervous habit. Kendall didn't want to admit it, but his heart had dropped to the pit of his stomach when he heard they had not made it to the library. He wanted so much to be wrong, to have seen the two of them huddled over a table, laughing at the fact that they had lost track of the time and making fun of him for overreacting. But in the end, he was right and two of his best friends were nowhere to be found. _

_"Don't worry, we'll find them," Kendall replied, knowing that James felt the same feelings of dread and fear that were slowly overcoming him. _

_The bell rang through the air, signaling the end of the lunch period. Kendall's heart momentarily stopped beating when he realized that his attendance at his Biology lab would prevent him from searching for Carlos and Logan. He looked toward James and, by the look on his face, he too understood what that bell meant. However, on closer inspection, Kendall noticed a twinkle of defiance and he knew they shared the same thought. Class would have to wait; they had to find their friends. Kendall silently laughed to himself as he thought of what Logan would say about them missing class. Logan would never miss a class. An idea popped into Kendall's mind at that fact. _

_"James! Follow me!" Kendall yelled, racing down the hallway. The halls quickly filled and crowded as students raced to make it to class in the allotted time. Kendall raced to his destination, with James on his heels. He panted for breath when he reached the classroom, receiving stares from the unknowing students enter the class. _

_"L-Lo-Logan would never miss a class," Kendall explained through pants of air as he fed oxygen to his starving lungs. They stood in front of Logan's advanced Algebra class, Kendall thankful that he had studied each of friends schedule in case of situations just like this. "So, unless something serious happened, Logan should be coming to class." _

_James quickly caught on, and the two of them impatiently waited for any sign of Logan among the numerous students entering the classroom. As the class slowly filled up and the minutes ticked by, Kendall felt his confidence ebb way with the seconds. The feeling of hope that overcame him when he first thought of the idea was quickly vanishing and a feeling of dread was beginning to take its place. The obtrusive sound of the bell and the closing of the classroom door brought him back to reality and broke his resolve. Something had happened to Logan and Carlos. James slammed his arms against the locker in frustration; he too realizing what Logan's absence meant. _

_"Where the hell are they, Kendall?"_

_Kendall tried to come up with a comforting answer, anything believable to calm down the anxious James, even though in his mind, the answers seemed so hard to believe. He had prepared to suggest to James that Logan might have skipped his algebra class to avoid Bruce Michaels, who was also in the class with him, when a sickening thought came to mind. _

_"Oh God. James, please tell me Bruce was in that class," Kendall said, trying to peer into the high window of the door._

_"Bruce? Bruce Michaels, the junior? No, I didn't see him go in the room," James replied, not fully understanding why Kendall so desperately wanted Bruce to be in that classroom._

_"Oh no. No, no, no!" Kendall yelled, as he kicked the locker harshly. The action caused a harsh crashing sound to reverberate through the now empty halls. James, realizing the loud sound would alert teachers of their presence in the hallways, pulled the seething Kendall into the stairwell._

_"Kendall, what's wrong? You're scaring me. What does Bruce Michaels have to do with Carlos and Logan missing?"_

_Kendall had forgotten that James had not been present in the morning when Bruce attacked Logan and as calmly as he could he explained to him the events of earlier in the day. He saw the color slowly leave James' face as he started to realize what Kendall was telling him. _

_"Bruce threatened Logan today. He has him and probably has Carlos too," Kendall said, numbly. He was sick to his stomach with the knowledge that an angry bully had managed to get to his friends. Horrible thoughts came to mind of the vicious things he could be doing to both Carlos and Logan, and it took all he had to not succumb to the nausea and throw up on the floor. _

_"We have to find them," James said. "Come with me."_

_He followed the retreating James back to the cafeteria, the only safe place for two students who didn't have hall passes and had cut class. They took a table in the back of the room in front of the cafeteria's large windows. Kendall could hear James talk, his words becoming a jumbled mess as he tried to figure out where Bruce could have taken their friends. However, in his numbness, Kendall could only stare outside, looking at the clear blue skies and bright sun, which taunted him with their beauty when he felt like the dirt under someone's shoe. He was pulled out of his thoughts by James calling his name. As he turned his head away from the window to respond, something in the distance caught his attention. Focusing, he was able to make out two figures near a tree in the wooded clearing next to the school. It was forbidden for students to leave the school during school hours except for outdoor gym classes, and by the small number of students in that group, Kendall could tell that was not a gym class. Whether it was them, he didn't know, but he intended to find out. _

_"James, look!"_

_Turning his head to the direction Kendall pointed, he stared out the window to the far away tree. "You think that's them?"_

_Kendall didn't wait to answer his question. He leapt out of his seat so fast, he caused the chair to crash to the ground in a loud clatter. The chair laid forgotten on the floor as Kendall raced out the cafeteria, James close behind. In the back of his mind, Kendall was vaguely aware of the fact that he should tell a teacher or an adult of his suspicions , but all that required time, time that he didn't know if Logan and Carlos had. Instead, he chose to act on his own accord, disobeying school rules and running out the school's back exit toward the mysterious figures he saw. Within seconds, James was by his side, matching his stride as he ran. _

_They were a few yards away when they heard the voice that sounded like music to their ears._

_"Please! Leave him alone!" Carlos screamed._

_While hearing Carlos voice brought a wave of relief to sweep over Kendall, the words he said caused his breath to momentarily hitch in his throat. He knew exactly who Carlos was begging for. "Carlos!" James screamed, as he quickened his pace once they were close enough to make out the scene before them. Carlos stood pinned against the tree by Bruce who had his arm pressed securely under Carlos' throat. He had several cuts and bruises on his face, and blood dribbled down the corner of his mouth from a busted lip. Bruce held a threatening hand balled up in fist ready to strike. _

_"Bruce! Let him go!" Kendall yelled, still yards away, too far to physically stop Bruce from punching Carlos, but hoping his presence would distract him enough to give him more time. It had worked. _

_"Oh, sorry, Knight. There are no teachers around to threaten me with this time," Bruce shouted back, taking his eyes off Carlos to taunt the running Kendall. "Now, just sit tight and wait your turn."_

_By turning to address Kendall, Bruce had left an opening for Carlos. Swinging his hand through the air, Carlos made contact with Bruce's jaw, causing the tall boy to release his hold and giving Carlos the opportunity to run. Carlos ran into the open field, the angry faced Bruce chasing after him in hot pursuit. As they passed the tree, Kendall and James followed close behind, hoping to prevent Bruce from causing any more harm. Kendall slowed once he realized that Logan was nowhere in sight. "James, keep after them! I'm going to find Logan." James gave a quick nod of his head in affirmation, and continued with his chase. Kendall hated to leave James to handle Bruce himself but finding Logan was his first priority. _

_"Logan!" Kendall yelled, as he searched the open area for any sign of his friend. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins at the knowledge that he was close to finding his friend, however, he feared the state he would find him. "Logan! Come on, man! Tell me where you are!" All he received in return was silence as he continued to run around the area. He had started to turn around to continue his search in another direction when he saw a small tuff of raven dark hair behind a tree. He ran toward the tree and his heart stopped at the sight before his eyes._

_"Logan..."_

_Slumped against the trunk laid a badly beaten Logan. Small cuts and bruises littered his face, evidenced by black and blue marks on his cheek and forehead. This plus the purple hue caused by a newly acquired black eye made the whole left side of his face a mass of bruises. And that was only one side. On the top of the right side of his forehead was a small cut, right where his hairline began and his forehead seemed to disappear. It was made evident by a small trickle of blood that mingled with his eyebrows. While the severity of his injuries caused Kendall's blood to run cold, it was Logan's stillness that alerted him back to action._

_"Logan!" Kendall shouted, kneeling beside him. He gently shook his shoulder hoping the movement would revive the unconscious Logan. "Come on, Logan! Wake up for me buddy!" _

_Logan remained unresponsive, his eyes staying closed. The fear at this point was suffocating and Kendall forgot all about being gentle. In a sense of urgency, his attempts of reviving Logan became more rough, pushing his whole body in an attempt to wake him up. It had worked, as Logan's eyes fluttered to alertness, but the reaction he received was not what he had expected. _

_"No, please!" Logan screamed as he fought to get away from Kendall's grasp. _

_Kendall stayed frozen, confused by Logan's reaction. He laid curled on the floor and refused to let Kendall touch him, brushing away any form of contact. "Logan, relax. It's - "_

_"No, stop it! Please, I'll do it! I'll do it!"_

_"Logan, calm down! You're fine! No one's going to hurt -"_

_"Let me go! Please let me go!"_

_"Logan! It's me! It's Kendall! Look at me!" Kendall said, placing his hand on Logan's cheek and forcing him to face him. _

_"K-Kendall?" Logan questioned, finally opening his eyes to stare into Kendall's. "Kendall!" He screamed as the moment of clarity finally came and he realized he was no longer in danger. He launched into Kendall's arms and tightly wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck. Seeing the raw emotion and vulnerability displayed by Logan, Kendall tightened the embrace and offered the security and safety that he knew Logan craved after his horrible beating. _

_"It's ok, buddy. You're alright. You're safe now," Kendall whispered soothingly as he gently stroked Logan's back in comfort. "Lemme see you. Are you hurt? Are you in pain?" He gingerly pulled away from the embrace to get a good look at him. _

_"I'm okay," Logan whispered, refusing to look Kendall in the eye as he made that statement. _

_"You're a horrible liar. Now tell me, what hurts?" Kendall questioned once again. _

_"My stomach is a little sore, and my face feels like I was hit repeatedly by a frying pan, but other than that, I'm fine, Kendall. I was just..." Logan replied honestly. "I was so scared."_

_"It's over now. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you again," Kendall said, pulling Logan back into a tight hug, wishing they could stay like that forever. _

_The feeling of relief was so intense, Kendall felt the tickle of tears behind his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. It was over. His friends were okay; the horrible nightmare was over. _

_"Wait!" Logan said, his body tensing in Kendall's arms. He quickly pulled away, and struggled to get his footing as he tried to stand. "Where's Carlos? Bruce - he - he has Carlos!"_

_"Don't worry. He's with James," Kendall replied reassuringly. He helped Logan up to a standing position, his heart aching as Logan winced and moaned in pain at the movement. He tried not to notice how heavily Logan leaned against him for support or how tightly he clutched his side. "Come on. Let's go find them."_

_They walked slowly, careful not to aggravate Logan's sore body with any harsh movements. He endured any pain in silence, only groaning or hissing in pain every now and then. As they got closer to the area where he and James had separated, he saw Carlos leaning heavily against a tree. Kendall, as careful as he could for Logan, quickened his pace at the sight and helped Logan into a seated position near Carlos._

_"Carlos! Are you okay?" Kendall asked, kneeling in front of his dazed and confused friend. _

_"My he'd h'rts," Carlos slurred in response. Just as Kendall feared from his slack features, Carlos had a concussion. He pressed the sleeve of his shirt against the gash against his forehead and was grateful to see the blood lessen its slow, however it caused a slow hiss to escape from Carlos. He shook his head, moving it away from Kendall's touch._

"_Carlos, buddy. Don't do that. I have to stop the bleeding," Kendall replied, reassuringly, hating the fact that his actions were causing his friend pain. But Carlos continued to move his head from side to side in protest. Kendall had prepared to use his free hand to keep his head straight when Carlos spoke up._

_" N-No w'it, K'ndall... J'mes..."_

_It was at that point Kendall realized James' absence in the scene. _

_"Where's James?" he asked, knowing he would dread the answer._

_"Br'ce..."_

_The feeling of relief that had washed over minutes ago was gone and the knowledge that the nightmare wasn't over caused fear to course through his vein once again. "Logan, watch Carlos. Keep him -" _

_"Awake. I know. Just go find James!" Logan cut in. _

_At Logan's urgency, Kendall went running deeper into the trees, waiting for any sign of his friend and his nemesis. He would have never thought the day would have turned out they way it did. He would have never imagined that a bully would be terrorizing his friends and he would be in control to stop him. A feeling of failure threatened to consume, but he quickly banished it away. With James still missing, it was not the right time for him to wallow in self pity. His friend needed him and he was going to be there for him. _

_"Does that hurt pretty boy?"_

_Kendall turned his head at the voice and let his legs lead the way toward the sound. When he reached the clearing and observed the sight before him, his heart dropped once again. Bruce held James by the collar as he slammed his body against the tree. James' body stood limply and leaned heavily against the trunk for balance, the deep moan of pain echoing through the trees and reaching Kendall's ears to pull at his heart strings. It was that horrible sound that pushed Kendall into action and before he knew he was running into Bruce's huge frame, pulling the bully away from his friend and causing James to slide to the ground in pain. _

_"I already beat up all your friends. So I guess it's your turn," Bruce said menacingly, as he recovered from the surprise tackle, pushing Kendall's smaller frame off of him like a fly on his shoulder. Kendall, however, was able to stay on his feet, and just stared at Bruce in anger. _

_"If I were you, Bruce, I would run away right now." Kendall replied, through gritted teeth. While he hated the bully who had hurt his friends, he didn't want to sink to his level. _

_"Run away? Naw, I'd much rather have another go at Carlos. That little guy sure is feisty, a great fight. Much better than Logan," Bruce taunted. Kendall knew that he was trying to coax him into a fight, using his friends as bait, but he could feel his resolve slowly weaken at the statement. _

_"Leave my friends alone!" _

_"Awww, Logan. You should have seen him begging for you to help him," Bruce said. " 'Kendall, Kendall!' It was pathetic! Especially since you were no where in sight. How does it feel, Knight? How does it feel to have let your precious little Logan down?"_

_At those words, Kendall realized that Bruce had hurt him more than any punch and, at the moment, all Kendall knew was anger. His shoulder rammed into Bruce's stomach as he ran into his body like a bull seeing red, sending the two of them crashing to the ground. By catching Bruce off guard, Kendall was able to get the upper hand and quickly assumed the position on top of him. Straddling Bruce from the chest down, Kendall completely immobilized him. _

_"You come near my friends again, and I swear to God, you're done," Kendall said, with such malice in his voice, that Bruce's eyes doubled in size as he realized that Kendall meant every word. _

"_You- You're bluffing," Bruce replied, hoping to recover from his initial shock, but his voice failing him. _

"_You wanna bet?" Kendall answered as he swung his arm back and with all his strength, punched Bruce, instantly rendering him unconscious. _

_The punch had been so forceful, Kendall winced in pain as he flexed his hand, fearing that he might have broke his hand from the contact. However, he didn't let the pain in his hand stop him from worrying about his friends well-being. Cradling his sore hand, he crawled off the unconscious Bruce and made his way to the resting James. _

_"James!" _

_"How bad is it?"_

_"What?"_

_"How bad does my face look?" James clarified._

_Kendall couldn't help but smile at the fact that after all the terrible events of the day, one thing managed to stay the same - James and his vanity. _

_"Your face looks fine, buddy. I've heard girls love guys with battle scars and black eyes," Kendall reassured. _

_"Scars?!" _

_"I'm glad to see you're fine, James. Come on, let's get back to the others," Kendall replied, helping James to a standing position. _

_"They're okay, right?"_

_"Yep, they're fine," Kendall said, as he pointed toward to their two friends under a tree._

_"James!" Carlos shouted in relief, his words sounding much clearer than before. James separated from Kendall and sprinted to make his way to his friends. He kneeled in front of both of them, pulling them into a hug. Kendall quickened his steps and before he knew it, he was pulled into the embrace himself. The four friends stayed like that for what seemed like hours, enjoying their reunion and thankful for each other's presence. The tears that Kendall had managed to keep at bay moments ago, threatened to spill once again, and this time, he couldn't stop the lone tear that trailed down his cheek in relief. _

_"God, I'm just so glad you guys are okay. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to any of you," Kendall whispered, unashamed of his public display of emotion. He felt the arms around him tightened in acceptance. _

_"We're okay, Kendall. Thanks to you and James" Carlos replied. But Kendall shook his head furiously at the comment. _

_"No, I screwed up. I should have been there. I should have been there to protect you guys. I'm so sorry," Kendall replied, pulling away from the embrace out of shame. _

_"What?" Logan questioned. "Why are you apologizing?"_

_"You guys got hurt because of me. I let you down. I wasn't there when you needed me. I-"_

_"But you're here now. And that's all that matters," Logan cut in, shutting Kendall's speech of self-pity. Kendall turned toward his friends at the words and was grateful to see three smiling faces stare back at him. "By the way, I think I might just take you up on that offer as my bodyguard." _

_"It would be my pleasure," Kendall replied, jokingly. The four friends laughed, but Kendall quickly sobered up. "I promise you guys, I will always be there to protect you. I'll always be there when you need me." _

* * *

It was that thought - the thought that he was breaking the promise he made to his friends all those years ago - that allowed Kendall to awaken from the tight hold of unconsciousness. For a split second, before he felt the pain course through his entire body and before he saw the damage to the car and his friends, Kendall savored the momentary confusion and disorientation. In that second, life was normal and everything was how it should be. However, once that passed, Kendall wished he had not opened his eyes.

The pain in his head was the first he noticed. It was a sharp, stabbing pain that started at the side of his head and seemed to travel through his whole body. Against his better judgement, he attempted to move. The presence of black spots in his vision and uncontrollable wave of nausea kept him from going too far. Therefore, he let his eyes do the movement as he surveyed the car. Glasses was everywhere and even from his view in the back Kendall could tell the car was totaled, the metal frame warped beyond recognition. But Kendall didn't care about the condition of the car; it was the well being of his friends that mattered to him.

The first person he noticed was Logan, as the position of the driver seat was right in his line of sight. Logan's eyes were closed and his head rested on the airbag as if it were a pillow. His mouth was slightly agape and a small trickle of blood stained the usual porcelain inflatable material red.

"L-L-Logan?" Kendall questioned, his voice barely louder than a whisper. He had attempted to shout out the name, but his throat was so dry, his voice sounded coarse and cracked. Nevertheless, Logan remained unresponsive, not even moving at the sound of his name.

James's position in the front seat made it impossible for Kendall to see his face, a fact that deeply scared him. He at least had hoped to have some proof that James was okay, but he couldn't even make out if he was even breathing.

"James?" Kendall called out, his voice a little stronger than before. He waited for a sign of movement or acknowledgment, hoping to quell his fears with some sort of response. However, silence was all Kendall got back in return.

He yearned to turn his head to see Carlos, but even the slightest movement threatened to bring him back to darkness. He could sense the weight of Carlos's body near his and attempted to rouse his friend physically. Careful not to move his body, Kendal extended his left arm toward Carlos. He was greeted with Carlos's shoulder, and he gently shook it, hoping it would be enough to awake him.

"Carlos?" Kendall said, as he pushed his shoulder back and forth. He waited impatiently for any sign of acknowledgment toward the movement - a moan, a groan, anything that could tell him that Carlos was alright. However, the only sound to break the suffocating silence was the howling wind outside; Carlos remained unresponsive.

The urge to panic was strong. All his friends were unconscious and there was no way of knowing if they were even alive, but rational thought had not escaped him yet. Awake or not, he knew he had to get them help. With gingerly movements, Kendall used his left arm to reach into his back pocket to retrieve his phone. Feeling the small device in his hand, he moved it into his view, preparing to dial the three numbers that would save his friends. However, the blank screen he saw nearly broke his heart. He pressed the power button repeatedly but the result was the same - a black screen. His phone was dead.

"No, no, no! No!" Kendall screamed. It was at that point all attempts at maintaining his composure were forgotten and the tears he had tried to keep at bay were released. He was supposed to protect his friends. They needed him. And he was here for them. But right now, he needed them; he needed them to be okay.

"Guys! Please! Please wake up! I'm here now. Wake up... Please."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I am deeply sorry for the delay. Life got in the way. But here's an update and I hope you enjoy the heavy dose of angst.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 3 - The Darkest Hour

Cold. That was how Kendall felt as he waited in silence for any response from his friends. It had nothing to do with the below freezing air or the raging snowstorm outside. It was ice cold dread running through his veins, turning his blood frigid throughout his body. He was frozen, watching his friends' still forms, not knowing what to do but willing his body to do something.

The silence had become suffocating, the only sounds coming from the howling wind or whimpers he let escape his own mouth. He could hear his heart pounding against his eardrums, could feel his breaths coming in quick pants of air, and could sense the signs of panic threatening to overwhelm him. The tears continued to fall on their own accord. Kendall knew the last thing he should do was panic; he understood that the tears wouldn't help him and his friends out of this horrible situation. But, with his friends remaining motionless and help nowhere to be found, horrible thoughts came to mind that only caused the panic to increase tenfold. What if his friends were already gone?

"No!" Kendall screamed out loud, closing his eyes to erase the depressing thoughts. He wouldn't let his mind entertain that idea for another second. "No, you guys are okay. I'm awake now. You guys are going to be okay."

Opening his eyes, Kendall gathered all the strength he had to move his body from its resting place against the car door. His friends needed him; he had made a promise to them to always be there when they needed him and staying in one spot was not going to help them. However, the knowledge that he would be able to help his friends was not enough to help him overcome the overwhelming assaults of pain that bombarded his body from the slightest movements. Each failed attempt at moving managed to spark pain that coursed throughout his whole body, igniting flames of pain across every nerve ending. If Kendall was in his right mind, he would have stopped his attempts at moving after it proved futile to do so without enduring immense pain. But, he wasn't in his right mind; he was on mission to help his friends, the people who needed more than anything at that moment. Therefore, he continued struggling through the discomfort and agony. With a wave of strength that arose from the pit of his stomach, Kendall bit his lower lip to suppress the cry of anguish that wanted to escape his lips as he finally managed to sit back into his seat.

The excruciating pain that had been present throughout the whole ordeal was now unbearable. His head was pounding, a persistent throbbing that started from the top and traveled throughout his whole head. Instinctively, he tried to raise his right arm to assess the damage done, however, in an instant, the uncomfortable sensation in his head was forgotten, and in its wake was an overwhelming feeling of pain down his whole right arm. Kendall was unable to stop the agonizing scream that he released. He had suffered sprains in the arm, even a dislocation from time to time from being checked into the boards, but the feeling he was enduring was different and new. It was as if his arm had been ripped from his body and all that was left was fiery hot pain. His arm felt like it was on fire, each nerve ending sparking like electricity and sending the signal of unbelievable pain to his brain.

"Oh God," Kendall said, through gritted teeth. He used his free hand to cradle his aching right arm. Looking down, he saw his shoulder was covered in blood, but, out of pure satisfaction, was relieved to see that it was still there despite the fact it felt like it had been ripped from his body. Kendall tried to move his fingers, making sure that there was no nerve damage, and while it caused the pain to increase in his arm, he was glad to see the digits wiggle. Keeping his left hand over his right, he slung the arm into the inner panel of his jacket, hoping to stabilize his shoulder and prevent any awkward movements that might aggravate the fragile bones. It had been successful. After a few minutes, he was able to move his body without enduring unbearable pain, his shoulder now just a dull throb.

However, all that activity, had caused beads of sweat to form on his forehead and mingle with the slow trickle of blood down his temple. He had expended a lot of his energy fighting through the pain and he had to regain his composure before he could go on to help his friends. Taking a few extra moments to settle himself, Kendall turned to face Carlos, hoping to wake him up first since he was the closet to him. However, the scene before him caused a new kind of pain to affect his heart.

Carlos sat slumped, head hanging limply to the side. His facial features were undistinguishable, his face covered and caked with blood. It was so thick it matted his usually short hair and masked his entire left side crimson. Kendall could only stare in shock and fear at the sight. He had never seen so much blood in his life, and, the fact that it kept flowing, scared him. He welcomed the slight relief he felt as he noticed the rise and fall of Carlos's chest, evidence that he was still breathing. But he wouldn't be completely relieved until he saw Carlos's brown eyes staring back at him. The thought jolted him back into action; shaking off the shock, he began his attempts at reviving his unconscious friend.

"Carlos? Carlos! Come on, buddy," Kendall said, gently tapping his cheek, hoping the action would awaken him. Kendall tried not to notice how the action stained his hand red with blood - Carlos's blood. While the thought of Carlos bleeding made him want to throw up all over the car floor, he couldn't let that affect him. The more pressing matter was getting Carlos to wake up. Kendall could feel his cool ebb away as the minutes passed with no response from Carlos.

"Come on, Carlos! Please, wake up!" Kendall screamed, shaking the still form vigorously to revive him, but to no avail. His eyes didn't even flinch as the slaps to his cheeks became more forceful, his face remaining slack and void of any emotion. Kendall tried to remain calm, tried not to become the blubbering mess of tears and whimpers that threatened to arise, but he was losing his hold on rationale thought. Carlos needed to wake up. He needed to know that someone else was alright. Throughout their entire friendship, Kendall had always tried to be there when his friends need him, but, this time, he needed Carlos. Kendall allowed his free hand to firmly grasp Carlos's shoulder, and in a last ditch effort to wake him up, vigorously shook his chest.

The action worked, causing a soft groan to escape Carlos's lips.

"Hey, buddy. Come on, open your eyes for me, Carlitos," Kendall whispered, as his heart lifted at the fact he was at least awake.

* * *

Carlos had always hated waking up for school when he was growing up. It often took his mama several attempts and an extra thirty minutes to wake him from the depths of unconsciousness. It was a nasty habit that followed him to LA, where Logan and Kendall took turns waking up their slumbering friend repeatedly in the mornings. Therefore, when he felt the gentle tussle of his shoulder, Carlos thought nothing of it. He merely deduced it as another attempt by his friends to wake him up for their recording session and prepared to sink deeper into sleep, already aware of their trick of waking him 30 minutes before it was time for him to actually be awake. Nice try, guys, he thought.

He had been enjoying his sleep, dreaming about an evil ninja spy who had infiltrated the Palm Woods and had managed to brainwash all the tenants but him. Through his unnatural abilities at stealth and his skills at adventure, he was able to uncover the evil man's master plan. Carlos had been successful in breaking the spell for his friends, and the four of them were about to free the Palm Woods from the evil man's plan. He had just saved one of the Jennifers from peril and was set to receive his kiss of gratitude when the gentle tussle became more of a shove that seemed to shake his whole subconscious. He had tried to ignore it, concentrating on the welcoming lips of the Jennifer in his arms, but the movement was so persistent, he felt his hold slip on the moment. Slowly, but surely, he felt himself wake up, and let out a soft groan of annoyance for the interruption.

As he inched closer to consciousness, Carlos was aware of two things. One: The person that was shaking him was not his mother. It wasn't the usually soothing shoves his mother would give him; the movements were too harsh and forceful. And two: He was not sleeping in his bed, as evidenced by the stiffness in his neck. He mentally chastised himself for falling off his bed again.

"F-f-five more minutes," Carlos mumbled, amazed by how weird his voice sounded to his own ears.

"No, no, no buddy! Time to wake up," a voice replied, muffled, and difficult to understand. The owner of the voice continued to slap his cheeks, keeping Carlos from getting those desired five minutes. Unable to keep his anger contained anymore, he gave up trying to stay asleep and decided to wake up to yell at the person with the annoying voice.

"Wh-wha..." Carlos started to say, opening his eye a crack to see who was waking him up. His vision was blurry and it took awhile for his eyes to focus on the person in front of him, but he was able to make out blond hair and instantly knew it was Kendall in front of him. "K-K'ndall..."

"Hey, yea buddy! It's me. Oh God, I'm so glad to see you awake," Kendall replied, the urgency leaving his voice. Instead, his words were backed by relief.

"Wh'a... What h'p -" Carlos began to ask, opening his eyes wider in alertness. It was then that he realized a third thing - excruciating pain. The rest of the sentence died on his lips as he felt the most incredible unimaginable unpleasant sensation cut through his forehead, causing him to cry out in anguish. He closed his eyes, wanting to retreat back into his subconscious where the Jennifers waited for him and where there was no pain. However, the pain was just as persistent as Kendall and maintained its tight hold on Carlos, preventing him from leaving. All he could do was moan as he waited to for the torture in his head to cease.

"Shhh, it's okay, Carlos, its okay," Kendall whispered soothingly, hoping to comfort him with kind words. It pained him to see the look of pure agony that was all over Carlos's face and he would have given anything he had to take the weight of his pain away from him.

"M-my head! Oh, God, it hurts," Carlos whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut, hoping to block out the immense pain he was experiencing. "Why does it hurt so much? What happened?"

"I know, buddy. We got into an accident and you hit your head really hard. You have pretty big cut on your forehead," Kendall explained slowly, unsure of how much information Carlos was truly retaining. "Uhh, I think you might have a concussion."

"Awww, man, a concussion? I hate those," Carlos whined. "Why do I always get those?"

Kendall couldn't help but smile at the slight sense of normalcy from Carlos' reaction. He might have hit his head so hard against the seat that he was bleeding profusely, but he was still the same old Carlos.

"I don't know, Carlitos. I guess you're head is just really fragile," Kendall replied. "Now, come on, open your eyes. I have to see how bad it is."

Carlos reluctantly obliged, only allowing a soft moan to escape. He blinked a few times to improve his sight, hoping to readjust his lens to the change in light. However, his vision remained blurry and it was difficult for him to focus on the image in front of him. It was starting to give him a headache, which just caused the throbbing pain in his head to hurt even more. He wanted so badly to close his eyes and go to sleep; he was sure things would be much better when he finally woke. Just five minutes and everything would be better. He felt his eyelids grow heavy and allowed them to close on their own accord, welcoming the darkness they provided. He could feel his mind beginning to sick deeper and deeper into unconsciousness. He was enjoying the comforting pain free relief when the persistent tapping returned.

"No, no, no, Carlos! Come on, you have to open your eyes for me, buddy," Kendall shouted, as he lightly slapped Carlos's cheeks to wake him up. He felt his heart drop to pit of his stomach as he watched as Carlos closed his eyes, all relief vanishing in the span of seconds. He knew a lot about concussion, having dealt with a few himself from hockey, and he knew the number one rule was to stay awake. "Carlos! Come on!"

Fortunately, Carlos's eyes fluttered back to alertness in a few minutes, and Kendall's heart restarted.

"K-K'ndall... Lemme sl'p," Carlos whispered, still trying to fight Kendall's pull toward consciousness.

"No can do, man. You have to stay awake," Kendall replied, as he continued to shake his lethargic friend until Carlos's eyes stared back at him. "Yea, that's it, buddy. Look at me."

"Uhhh, which one of you?" Carlos groaned, his blurry vision causing him to see double.

"Whichever one is going to help you stay awake."

Carlos merely scoffed at the response but followed commands as he continued to stare at Kendall. He was grateful that within seconds his vision stabilized and only one Kendall appeared in front of him. However, his gratefulness was short lived as the image of his friend in front of him came into focus. Kendall was sitting in front of him, his face covered with tiny cuts and dried blood. Carlos could see a small cut on Kendall's temple but was happy to see that it had stopped bleeding.

"Oh, man, Kendall, you look horrible."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you don't look to great either, pal," he said in return. "Now, I have to look at that cut on your head."

Taking Carlos's silence as affirmation, Kendall began to assess the bleeding wound on his friend's forehead. He used his free hand, and taking some excess fabric from the sleeve of his jacket, gingerly applied pressure on the large gash, hoping to slow the bleeding. He whispered a heartfelt apology at the pain he was sure he was going to cause at the action, and tried not to let the slow hiss of pain that Carlos let out affect him.

"I'm sorry, man. I have to press on the cut to get the bleeding to slow down. Fortunately, it's not too big of a cut," Kendall explained, as he pulled back his hand and saw the long thin cut across Carlos's forehead.

"Yay for me," Carlos retorted, sarcastically.

"It's just bleeding like crazy. I have to find something thicker to apply to the cut to stop the bleeding," Kendall continued, as he pulled his bloody sleeve away and turned in his seat to find something else to apply on the wound. The change in his position took him out of Carlos's line of sight and brought the rest of accident into his view.

Initially, when Carlos had woken up, his mind was too foggy to process all the information that Kendall was telling him. He had heard the words "car accident" and was feeling the effects of hitting his head, but he had forgotten about the others in the car. However, with the horrifying scene in front of him, Carlos was sure he would never forget it again. The entire windshield was blown in and snow and glass littered the entire front of the car. He could make out a huge tree trunk that seemed to be positioned in the middle of where the hood of the car once was. The rest of the front was a distorted mess of metal and plastic, the dashboard looking like crumpled paper. The extent of the damage was serious and, while the state of the car was a lot for Carlos to take in, it was the condition of the two front seat passengers that pushed him over the edge.

"Omig- James! Logan!" Carlos screamed, alerting Kendall to the fact that his friend had finally realized the extent of the accident. His earlier task forgotten, Kendall returned to face Carlos.

"Hey, Carlos. Relax," he said gently.

"No! Look at them! Are they okay? Why aren't they moving?! Oh God! Are they de -"

"Carlos! Calm down! They are fine! Just let me finish checking on you and then I'll get to them. Just re-"

"I'm fine, Kendall. Just go check on them," Carlos pleaded, moving his head out of Kendall's reach. He didn't need to be checked out anymore; he was fine. Now, he needed to know that his friends were okay. "Please, go check on them."

It was the tone of urgency that Carlos's voice carried that made Kendall turn away from his injured friend and tend to the other two passengers in the car. If he were honest to himself, he would have admitted that he invested so much of his energy on tending to Carlos because he didn't want to face the uncertainty of dealing with James and Logan. Throughout his entire exchange with Carlos, neither of his two best friends had moved or made any noticeable sign of life. Dealing with Carlos, he was able to concentrate on something concrete and tangible, but now, he was forced to face the unknown.

He mentally prepared himself for the task, praying to whoever would listen that his friends were okay before he moved to wake them up. He moved gingerly through the opening between the front seats and was careful not to aggravate his injured shoulder. From his previous position, James was the closest to him and the next for him to try to revive. He had not been able to see James's injuries from his seat in the back, but Kendall could not prepare himself for the sight of his broken friend in front of him.

James sat with his head tilted upward and resting firmly on the headrest. His face and hands were covered with numerous bleeding cuts from the million pieces of glass that covered him. The bruising stood out against his unnaturally pale skin, which alarmed Kendall. He placed his hand gently against James's forehead and was surprised to feel his skin was cool and clammy. However, he thought nothing of it and began to shake his friend.

"James! James! Wake up, man," Kendall yelled, gently shoving James's shoulder, hoping to wake him up on the first try. James had other things in mind, however, and remained unconscious, not showing any sign of waking up any time soon. Kendall could hear Carlos whimpers in the back seat as the seconds ticked by with no response from James.

"Come on, James, you have to open your eyes for me," Kendall continued, his shoves becoming more forceful than before. He had to admit that he was slightly taken aback at how hard it was to wake James. One look at him, anyone would have thought he was merely sleeping and yet it was incredibly hard to awaken the usually soft sleeper. It was then that he noticed the dark stain on James's pant leg, soaking the normally denim material into a deep purple color. As simple as that, Kendall realized why it was so difficult to arouse James, why he was so pale and his skin was so clammy. James was bleeding and from the looks of it, he had been bleeding a lot for awhile. "Oh no," Kendall muttered under his breathe, however, it wasn't low enough for Carlos not to notice the worry that came from those two little words.

"What? What is it? Is he okay?" Carlos replied, trying hard not to panic but hating the lack of information he was getting from Kendall. He had to know if James was alright.

"Nothing. It's okay, Carlos. James is okay," Kendall responded calmly, as he mentally scolded himself for allowing his previous worry to be evident in his voice and alarming his injured friend. He turned to face him to give Carlos some added reassurance and was happy to see him visibly calm, thankful his face didn't betray him. He returned to his previous position and brought his attention back to James. However, if he waited a few more seconds he would have noticed Carlos's face collapse and the silent tear that trailed down his cheek as he realized that something was wrong.

"James! Come on, man, wake up!" Kendall shouted as he repeatedly shook the still body of his friend. He could feel himself lose his calm composure once again, panicking at the fact that it was taking too long to wake James up. It should be easier, it shouldn't be this hard. If James was okay, he should just jump right up and complain about his messed up hair. He shouldn't be motionless. He should be awake, why wasn't he waking up? The tears returned before he had a chance to keep them at bay. He was fortunate his was back was facing Carlos and concealed his public display of weakness. He had always hated crying, but with his worst fear coming true right before his eyes, there was no stopping the crying. His shoves became more forceful, more desperate, and he continued until his muscles were weak from overexertion and his voice was raw from screaming James's name over and over again.

"James... James, please... I'm here. Please wake up," Kendall whispered hoarsely. However, like before, nothing changed. Forgetting about his injured shoulder, he pushed his whole body through the tight space and placed his head over James's chest, hoping to hear the comforting sound of a heartbeat. The howling winds made it hard to hear and extremely difficult to distinguish between the sounds. Out of desperation, Kendall grabbed James's shoulder and physically lifted his body off the seat, causing his head to fall limply to the side. "James! Come on! Wake up! I'm not going to lose you!"

And that was when he heard it.

* * *

James didn't know where he was. It was bright and it was warm and everything just felt right, which felt wrong to him. He remembered driving in the car with the guys and it wasn't bright and it definitely wasn't warm. He looked around the bright space for any sign of his friends, but he was alone and that scared him. Where were they? Where was he? What happened? Were they okay? Was he? James had always hated being alone; in fact, it was one of his biggest fears. That was why he always counted his blessings for having Kendall, Carlos, and Logan in his life to guarantee that he would never be alone. He had never needed them more than right now as he stood alone in this unknown place. The fear was slowly suffocating him at the idea that he was all by himself and no one was around. He looked all around - left to right - for any sign of anyone or anything. And then, just when all hope was lost, a figure appeared from the bright light.

James felt his heart beat quicken at the sight, and felt his legs guide him toward the figure. From where he stood, he couldn't make out who it was, he couldn't even tell it was a man or a woman. But the pull toward the figure was so strong, he couldn't turn away. As he moved closer and he was able to make out who stood before him, a smile quickly appeared on his face when he saw who it was.

It was Katie, dressed in all white with the most beautiful smile on her face. While her presence in this weird place confused him, he was surrounded by such a feeling of comfort and safety that everything just felt as it should be. She was meant to be there with him, to provide him the security that he needed.

"Hey, loser," she said, with a smirk.

"Katie?" James replied, still have trouble believing that she was really standing in front of him. "What are you doing here?"

"You tell me. You brought me here."

"I brought you here? Where is here exactly?" James questioned, looking around the still unknown space.

"Your subconscious, James. Now, come on, follow me," Katie replied, putting her hand out for him to hold. James momentarily stared at the waiting hand dumbly, as if he didn't know what to do with it. He looked up and stared at Katie and once again was mesmerized by her smiling face, which provided him with an overwhelming sense of protection, and without further hesitation placed his hand in hers. The spark that ignited between his fingers from the slight contact was instantaneous.

"Where are we going?" James asked, as they continued to move through the endless space of brightness hand in hand. However, all he received in return was silence. At first, he accepted the lack of response, hoping that he would reach the destination to answer his own question, but as the time passed without an end in sight, James found his patience waning. "Wait, where are we going? And where are the guys? Are they okay?" He asked once again, stopping dead in his tracks, pulling Katie to a stop as well. She turned and smiled that beautiful smile once again.

"Everything is okay."

"Wait, what? Everything is okay? What does that me -" James started before a dreaded thought came to mind. "Oh no, I'm dead! I'm dead, aren't I? They always say the beautiful die young. Am I dead?"

Katie only laughed at the statement, which was not the response that he had been expecting. He started at her in shock and watched as she wiped the tears of laughter out of her eyes.

"You're not dead, James."

"Well, then where am I? And what is this place?"

"You're in your mind," Katie replied as if it was the most simplest concept to understand and she couldn't believe James didn't get it. But not only did James not get it, he had trouble believing that the words even made sense, and had the look of pure and utter confusion at the statement. As if to save him from asking the question, she continued. "This is like a hyper dream state. You're merely sleeping. It's funny though."

"What is?" James said, as he breathed a sigh of relief at the verification that he was still on the side of the living.

"Who would have thought that I'd be the girl of your dreams?"

Katie laughed once again, as James felt the heat rush to his face at the comment. His mouth moved up and down like fish as he tried to find the words to deny Katie's claim, but no words came out.

"W-w-what? Girl of my dreams? You? N-n-no! No!" James said hurriedly, as he tried to recover from his stunned silence. By the look on her face, James could tell Katie was not convinced, however, she chose to drop the matter.

"Yea, ok. Now, come on, pretty boy. Follow me. We're almost there," Katie replied, turning to continue her trek through the bright space. Her hand remained outstretched behind her, as if wanting James to grab a hold of it as she moved. As he went to reach for it, however, his hand only grasped air; Katie had managed to be feet ahead of him and the distance seemed to growing by the second.

"Wait, Katie! Almost where?" James shouted, quickening his pace to a fast walk, but unable to make any progress in the large distance between them. "Katie! Wait for me!"

"James! Come on!" Katie said, turning her head so that James could see her mouth move. And yet, the voice that came out was not hers. It was much deeper and clouded with such desperation. James stopped in his tracks at the sound. The voice was so familiar and yet so sad. He had been so entranced by the voice, he didn't notice Katie move farther into the distance.

"Katie?" James yelled, as he started once again toward the direction she went. As he ran through the open space, he noticed that brightness, that had been so overwhelming minutes ago, grew darker and darker the farther he continued and he no longer felt that warmth cloaking him.

"Please, James! Wake up!"

The statement puzzled James. He was already awake wasn't he? Why did that voice sound so sad? And where was Katie? She was supposed to take him somewhere; where did she go?

"Katie, where are you?" He called out once more into the darkness hoping for a response. He heard nothing. Doubting his instincts, James prepared to turn around, the darkness unnerving him. He wanted to go back to the bright space and be in the place with the warmth, hoping to escape the feeling of loneliness that threatened to overcome once again.

"James! I'm not going to lose you!"

The voice stopped him from taking his first step out of the darkness and pulled him back in. He knew that voice and he knew that the owner of that voice needed him. It was time for him to wake up and leave his dream behind. He continued his previous trek, following the voice and allowing it to bring him where he needed to be.

* * *

Kendall couldn't be sure about a lot of things regarding medicine, usually leaving that department for Logan, but he was confident the sound he heard against his eardrum was a heartbeat - James's heartbeat. He quickly lifted his head and sat up to gently tap James's face to wake him up, the sound igniting in him with a newfound hope. He was relieved to see a slight twitch in response to the action, and a soft release of air escape from James's lips.

"Yea, buddy, open your eyes. Come on, wake up," Kendall urged as he shove his friend to consciousness.

"K'tie..." James whispered, his lips barely moving making the word hard to decipher. To Kendall, it sounded like James had been trying to say his name, and quickly affirmed his presence to the awaking James.

"Yea, it's me, it's Kendall. Come on," he continued, until he saw James's eyes struggle to open. He squinted, his eyes having trouble orienting to change in brightness from its darkness, and his eyes took in the whole scene around him until they settled on Kendall.

"K-K-K'nd'll," James slurred, his voice a little more sure and confident as his mind cleared and he realized that the darkness led him back to his friends.

"Yes... Oh, thank God," Kendall breathed, as he released the breathe he had been holding since he listened for a heartbeat. The overwhelming sense of relief he felt was so great he pulled James into an embrace without thinking. He needed physical proof to the fact that he was really awake, that James was still with him. He needed something tangible to prove to himself that the horrible thoughts of losing his best friend were not true. And holding him in his arms was proof enough.

"Uhhh, Kendall... Too tight," James managed to squeeze out from the suffocating bear hug Kendall pulled him in.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Kendall quickly asked, pulling away from James and searching him up and down for any signs of pain.

"Naw, man. I'm okay. You didn't hurt me. I just couldn't breathe from lack of oxygen," James joked, even allowing a soft chuckle to escape before it turned into a body racking cough. "Owww, I guess it's too soon to laugh, huh?"

"Yea, just a little too soon," Kendall smiled.

"What happened?"

"Car accident. It looks like we ran into a tree, buddy."

"Yea, and it looks like the tree won," James replied, as he lifted his hand to ease the aching headache he was feeling. He was surprised to feel liquid between his fingers as he made contact with his skin and hissed at the pain. "Ah, am I bleeding?"

"A little bit. A few pieces of glass caused some cuts and bruises. Nothing too serious," Kendall answered.

"It's okay. A wise person once said girls dig guys with cuts and bruises," James said, giving Kendall a knowing look.

"Oh, well, if that's the case, they will love you," Kendall retorted, causing them both to smile at the comment.

"James?" Carlos asked from the back. The two friends had been so lost in their own conversation, they had forgotten Carlos sitting in the back. James felt his heart jump at the sound of a third voice, his heartbeat quicken at the knowledge that he was okay.

"Carlos?" James responded, attempting to angle his head to get a look at his friend in the back seat. He momentarily froze the movement as it stretched at the stiff muscles in his neck, but didn't allow it to stop it from seeing his friend. Hearing his voice wasn't enough, he needed to see that he truly was okay. What he saw in front of him however, was something he hadn't expected to see.

Carlos face had remnants of dried blood all over the side, and his shirt was covered with the dark red liquid. He was holding a soaking wet cloth stained red to his forehead. Injuries aside however, it was scared look on Carlos's face that nearly broke James's heart. He could see unshed tears make his eyes glisten in the darkness and thinking back he could still hear the thickness in Carlos's voice when he said his name. Carlos never looked more childlike that at that moment, with fear slowly consuming him.

"Hey, buddy, it's okay. I'm okay," James replied, understanding that Carlos needed to hear James say that to ease the fear and clear the tears.

"You sure?"

"Yea, Carlitos, I'm fine. Just a few cuts and bruises. Nothing too serious," James smiled. "How about you? You look like an extra from a horror movie. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I hit my head really hard and got a cut on my forehead. Kendall thinks I got another concussion so I can't go to sleep," Carlos replied, sounding less timid and more like his old self.

"Oh man, Carlos, another one. We have to get your head checked out. But yea, buddy, no sleeping, okay?"

"Okay."

Kendall watched the entire exchange in a daze. He was still reeling from his momentary lose of control, his hands still shaking. He couldn't bring himself to look behind him to look at the last of his friends who still hadn't woken up yet. He wanted to enjoy the fact that his friends were okay, that they all survived this horrible experience. He didn't want to have to beg another friend to wake up. He didn't want to pry a friend from the depths of unconsciousness because he doubted his sanity if he found out Logan wasn't okay. He didn't know if his heart could handle the whole situation one more time. Therefore, he returned his attention to James's bleeding leg, hoping to delay the inevitable just a little bit longer.

"How's your leg, James?"

"My leg?" He asked back puzzled. He stared down at it and was surprised to see a pool of his own blood around his left leg. "Oh, my leg. Crap, that's a lot of blood. I didn't even know -"

"You can feel it, can't you?" Kendall cut in, dreading what the lack of sensation meant.

"I can feel my leg, but it doesn't hurt. I mean, the pain is there but its numbing. Is that a good thing?" James asked, a slight feeling of panic arising in him at the thought. "Logan would know. Logan, is that good thing?"

It was then that James realized that he hadn't heard a word from Logan since he had woken up. Kendall had been right in front when had opened his eyes, and Carlos had made himself known, but Logan was silent. Logan had not said a word to him and that was not like Logan. Something was wasn't right. "Logan?" James asked, leaning his body forward to get look at the driver seat, but Kendall leaned forward as well blocking Logan from his line of sight.

"James, wait -"

"What's going on? Where's Logan? Is he okay? Why isn't he saying anything?"

"He's okay, James. He's fine. He just -"

"Then why isn't he saying anything?! Logan!" James yelled, moving his injured body to try and see Logan once more. He noticed Kendall make another attempt to try impede his line of sight and felt his anger grow at his friend. "Kendall, move."

"James..."

"Move, Kendall. Please just move."

Hanging his head, Kendall retreated back into the narrow space between the two front seat and allowed James the opportunity to see Logan.

"Oh, L -L-Logie?" James whispered, his voice breaking at the sight. Logan's body was leaning lifelessly against his inflated airbag, his body so still and yet, so broken. His skin was white as snow, much paler than normal, and blood seemed to trail from his bottom lip onto the airbag. "Oh God, oh God." James whispered under his breathe, the sense of fear and panic beginning to overtake him. This couldn't be happening. He didn't come back from the bright warm space to have to go through this - this wasn't part of the plan. Logan shouldn't look so still, he shouldn't look de-

"No, he's okay. He's going to be okay," James replied to no one in particular, hoping to silence the doubting thoughts in his mind. Ignoring the protests of his body, he turned slightly in his seat, careful not to aggravate his injured leg, and leaned forward in his attempts to wake his friend, whom he was confident was merely sleeping.

"Logan? Logan, it's time to wake up," he said, trying not to notice how cold his body felt under his touch. "Come on, buddy. Wake up."

Logan remained still, position and expression unchanged. James turned to Kendall and Carlos for help, but both seemed lost in their own fears as tears threatened to spill over. "Guys, he's fine. He's just sleeping. He's going to wake up."

"Come on, Logan. Prove me right. I know you love to be right. Come on, wake up and show them that you're okay. Come, buddy... Open your eyes."

But nothing happened. James felt his confidence wane and the frustration grow as the minutes passed with no response from Logan. As gently as he could, he pushed Logan from his hunched over position up into his seat so that his back rested against the back of the seat. His head fell limply and hung unsupported to the side. James tried not to notice how lifeless his body seemed in the upright position, and continued his attempts at waking up his friend. He slapped Logan's cheek repeatedly, shook his chest vigorously, and even shoved his shoulder so hard he almost fell over from the force. But all attempts were futile; Logan didn't make any sign of waking up.

"Logan! Come one! Wake up!" James screamed.

"James..."

Kendall appeared next to him, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "James, it's over"

"Wh-what? No! It's not over. He's fine! He's going to wake up. We - we just have to try harder," James replied, shaking his head, hoping to stop Kendall and his defeating attitude. He was not going to give up yet. He shoved Kendall's hand off his shoulder, and went back to trying to wake up Logan. "Come on, buddy. Come back to us. Come back to me. Wake up!"

"James!" Kendall screamed, as he pulled his face so that he looked right into his eyes. "James, stop it! He's g-gone. L-Logan's gone."

At the statement, James's face crumpled and he released gut wrenching cries of despair at the thought of losing his friend, at losing a piece of himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: My deepest apologies for the delay. Life... With that being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. And to those with reservations, just a heads up to a pretty graphic first half of the chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 4 - Friendship Everlasting

Logan was no stranger to nightmares. He'd had the one where he would go to school in nothing but his boxer shorts. He'd had the one where he'd arrive to school to find out that there was a pop quiz on material he never studied. And since their arrival to LA, he'd even had a recurring one where he'd fall off the stage of a Big Time Rush concert to the sounds of boos from their fans - that one usually caused him to wake up in cold sweats screaming. All in all, Logan had had his share of nightmares in his short life. But, nothing could compare to the horrific images his mind brought to life as he hovered over the line of consciousness.

The images of the crash replayed in his mind from the moment of collision to the moment of impact with the tree; he had been alert and oriented to that point in time. And yet, he found himself waking up from the crash, his head resting on the airbag. Taking a few moments to shake off the shock of the car crash and clear his mind from the disorientation, he absorbed the scene and assessed the damage around him. The car was totaled, the frame crumbled in upon itself like it was a ball of discarded paper. The windshield had imploded, causing the glass to be scattered all over the car. And yet, surprisingly, he had survived the accident unscathed, just a couple of minor cuts on his head and face. The airbag had done its job in saving his life. It was then that he noticed the eerie silence that fell on the car. There was no other movement, no signs of life, and he hadn't been the only one in the car.

_Oh God, my friends_, Logan thought, the feeling of panic quickly taking over him, erasing his previous sense of calm at surviving.

As he turned in his seat to check his friends, his heart literally stopped when he saw James in the passenger seat. For whatever reason, his airbag had not deployed, and his body leaned forward on the remaining aspect of the dashboard. His body hung limp, unsupported, as if he were a puppet cut from his strings. However, it wasn't the image of his broken body that caused Logan's blood to run cold. It was James's eyes. The eyes that would sparkle every time he laughed or wink every time he saw a cute girl stared back at Logan unblinking.

"N-No, N-n-no, No! James!" Logan screamed, as he struggled to release the constricting seat belt and get closer to his friend. Once free, he pushed James's body into an upright position, mindful of how much James felt like dead weight in his arms. He saw the large gash on his forehead, could feel the blood cake his fingers, as it continued to bleed profusely.

"It's - it's okay… You're okay, James. Everything, Oh God, everything is going to be okay," Logan whispered, even though he knew his words were unheard. He had known the moment he had stared into James's eyes that there was nothing he could do. He understood that James was already gone, but that didn't stop him from begging God for a miracle, from shaking James's body vigorously in a pointless attempt at reviving him.

"Please, James! Don't leave me!" He screamed, beating on his chest, as tears of grief fell from his eyes. He didn't want to accept the truth and would have continued for as long as it took if he hadn't heard the most sickening sound from the back seat. Leaving James's lifeless body, he turned to check on Carlos, who was producing the most horrific sounds.

"Oh God, Carlos!" Logan yelled, as he stared wide eyed at the scene in front him. Carlos's eyes were protruding from their sockets in grotesque horror, his hand grasping at his throat in desperation, blood spewing from his fingers. Logan could make out a large shard of glass sticking from Carlos's neck and he realized the sound was Carlos's struggle for breath as he choked on his own blood. As quickly as he could he pushed his small body through the space between the two front seats and made his way to Carlos's side.

"It's okay, Carlos. You're going to be okay," Logan said gently, hoping to calm his panicking friend, even though he felt himself begin to panic at the scene. Seeing Carlos so fearful, his eyes pleading for help was unbearable; Logan was sure the image would forever mar his mind. However, he had to be strong for Carlos. He had to help him through this. "Slow short breaths, okay, just take small, short breaths." He was glad to see Carlos quickly nod his head in acknowledgement as he tried to listen to Logan's words.

Ripping off a piece of his shirt, Logan put pressure on the bleeding neck wound, trying not to notice the way it coated his hand with the thick liquid. Carlos continued to stare, wide-eyed and fearful, and released his hold around his neck to grasp Logan's hand. The gesture nearly caused Logan to lose his composure as he felt tears tickle the back of his eyes. He had already lost James, he couldn't lose Carlos too. Carlos had to survive this.

Reaching into his coat pocket, he grabbed his cellphone. His fingers flew through the keyboard as he dialed 911. He didn't even let the dispatcher respond before he explained their emergency and begged them to hurry with an ambulance. He was grateful that he had managed to remember the nearest exit they passed to give the dispatcher an adequate approximation of their location. However, he insisted that they send help as fast as they could. The reassurance he received did little to quell his fears; he wouldn't be satisfied until the paramedics were at his side, helping Carlos.

"You're going to be okay, Carlos. Help is on the way, buddy. Just stay with me," Logan begged. He saw Carlos's lips move up and down in an attempt to respond to Logan's statement. "Shhh, it's okay, Carlos. Don't talk. Save your strength."

He placed a finger over Carlos's lips hoping that would defer him from any further attempts at trying to speak, but Carlos shook his head and continued to struggle, determined to get his message out.

"Y-y-'u pr'mis'd..." Carlos whispered, the words sounding distorted from the blood that was filling up his airway, but to Logan, the words were crystal clear and the message nearly caused his heart to stop beating.

Logan went back to the moment on the road, when he stared into Carlos's fearful eyes and made a promise. He had promised his friend that he would get them home safely and he had failed. He had broken his promise, they had not made it home safely at all. On the contrary, James was gone, Carlos was bleeding, and Kendall still had yet to make any sign of movement. He had broken his promise. Before he knew it, the tears that been merely annoying tickles were free flowing down his cheeks as he felt the weight of the whole situation fall on his shoulder, the guilt threatening to consume him.

"I-I'm s-s-so sorry, Carlos," Logan cried. "Please forgive me."

He looked into Carlos's eyes, begging him for forgiveness, but he didn't get the response he had been hoping for. The gurgling sound lessened, and Carlos's breaths slowed. His hold against Logan's hand slackened until it hung limply over its previous spot. His eyes glassed over and Logan watched as the light left his friend's eyes, leaving only a lone tear to trail down his cheek.

"No! Carlos! No!"

Logan felt numb. First James and now Carlos. This was wrong. Things weren't supposed to happen like this. They were supposed to have a simple ski trip, laughing and joking around. James should be talking about how many dates he has lined up for the next week. Carlos should be playing games with a corndog in one hand and a pack of Fruit Smackers in the other. And Kendall -

"Kendall!" Logan yelled, turning his attention to the last occupant in the car. Kendall remained motionless, his body still, resting against the car door. The lack of movement caused fear to momentarily paralyze Logan, he didn't know if he could take losing his last best friend. With as much courage as he could gather, he placed two fingers underneath Kendall's neck and waited to feel a pulse. Once his fingers were where they should be, time seemed to pass even slower; the seconds passing without any evidence of movement against his fingers. Logan stared unblinkingly at it, willing the pulse to beat as it should. And then he felt it. The slightest pressure push against his finger as blood coursed through Kendall's body and pumped his heart, giving Logan the proof he needed that Kendall was still alive. The knowledge that Kendall was still with him brought his muscles back to life and quickly went to trying to wake up his unconsciousness.

"Kendall, come on, buddy. Wake up for me," Logan said, as he gently tapped Kendall's cheek. It worked and Logan was thankful to see him open his eyes on the first attempt.

"L-L-Logan?" Kendall asked, dazed and confused.

"H-Hey," Logan answered, his voice filled with relief at finally hearing the voice of his friend. "Oh, Kendall, I'm so glad that you're okay."

The statement died on his lips as he noticed for the first time a dark red stain on Kendall's previous white shirt. It had been hidden from Logan's line of sight due to Kendall's slumped position, but now that he sat more erect in his seat, Logan was able to make out the blood. Already knowing he would dread the sight, Logan pushed Kendall's jacket aside and took in the large piece of glass that had imbedded itself into Kendall's abdomen.

"Oh no..."

"W-wh-what? What is it?" Kendall questioned once again, however he received his answer when he looked down and saw the foreign body sticking from his skin. "Omi- holy crap!" He screamed at the sight.

Hearing the panic in Kendall's voice alerted Logan to the severity of the situation.

"It's uhhh, it's okay. You're going to be just fine. I-I just... I gotta stop the bleeding. Yea, I'll stop the bleeding and then when the ambulance comes, they'll patch you right up," Logan replied, hoping to reassure not only Kendall but himself as well.

"O-Okay."

Logan took another piece of fabric from his shirt and pressed hard on the bleeding wound surrounding the piece of glass. He saw Kendall squeeze his eyes shut in pain from the pressure and felt his heart tighten at the fact that he was causing his friend this pain. "I'm sorry, man. I have to put pressure to stop the bleeding. I know it hurts."

Kendall could only nod his head in affirmation, evidence that he was listening. Logan could see the thin sheen of sweat line on Kendall's cool and clammy skin, forming due to his loss of blood. He tried not to let it bother him how pale his friend looked, how his eyes struggled to remain open, even how small his voice sounded from the normal strong bravado.

"Hey, buddy, stay with me, alright. You have to stay with me," Logan urged. "Come on. Talk to me. Stay awake."

"W-what happened?"

"We were in a car accident. It's pretty bad."

"C-Carlos? J-J-James? Are - Are they o-o-kay?" Kendall slurred. It was the question Logan had been dreading since Kendall had woken up. Being forced to acknowledge the death of his friends was one thing, but saying it out loud, breaking the news to his other friend was something entirely different. Telling Kendall would make it too real, somehow it would mean they were really gone. He wanted to delay that feeling, freeze time so that it was only him and Kendall and they didn't have to think of a future without James and Carlos.

"Shhh, save you strength. We just have to wait for the ambulance," Logan replied, his voice sounding heavy in his own ears. It was then that he realized he had been crying, and hurriedly wiped the tears from his eyes, but by then, it was too late. Kendall had realized what the tears meant - Carlos and James were not alright.

"N-no..." Kendall whispered, shaking his head in denial. "P-Please, no!"

"Kendall..."

"No! T-they c-can't be gone. C-Carlos! J-James! I'm here! Please, I'm here!"

"Kendall, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay. You have to stay calm. Just rel-"

"Everything is not okay. Carlos and James are de - oh God, they're dead. They're g-gone!" Kendall yelled, tears flowing down his face uncontrollably. Logan was lost in his attempts at trying to calm the inconsolable Kendall, his previous task at controlling the bleeding wound forgotten. But all his attempts were shot and unsuccessful, Kendall continued to mourn the passing of their two best friends. He had been resigned to wait patiently, hoping to just comfort Kendall until help arrived, but then Kendall uttered the words that changed everything. "How could you, Logan.?"

"Wa- wait, what do you mean?" Logan stuttered, hoping, praying that he had heard wrong.

"How could you let them die? You - you p-promised C-Carlos... H-H-How could you kill him? A-and James, oh God, James! H-How could you kill them, Logan?"

Logan felt all the air leave the car as he struggled for breath. He shook his head, trying to get the words out of his ears. It wasn't true. He hadn't killed them. He had to make sure that Kendall knew that. He never wanted to hurt them.

"N-No, that's not true. I-I didn't… I didn't kill them, Kendall. It was an accident."

"Yes! You caused the accident. You caused us to hit the tree. They're gone because of -"

"No, Kendall, please, stop! I didn't -"

"Carlos and James are dead because of you!"

His resolve crumbled at the realization. Kendall was right. He had been driving the car, the car that crashed and killed his friends. He hadn't tried hard enough to stop the car, to prevent the accident, and now Carlos and James were dead. All because of him.

"I'm so sorry, Kendall! I didn't mean to... I tried, believe me, I tried. I couldn't - I couldn't stop the car. But - but, I should have tried harder, I shouldn't have let it happen. It's all my fault! I killed them. Oh God... They're de-dead because of me," Logan admitted, the guilt suffocating him and turning him to a blubbering mess. His head bended low, he didn't have the strength to look Kendall in the eye, knowing that he had taken the lives of his best friends. He had prepared to beg Kendall for forgiveness, when he heard the distant wail of sirens. The ambulance was coming. He had been unable to save Carlos and James, but he wasn't going to lose Kendall as well.

"H-hey, you hear that? The a-ambulance is coming, buddy, okay? You - you're going to be okay," Logan replied, forgetting the tears that stained his cheeks. A new found feeling of hope had arisen within him at the shrill sound of the sirens. They were coming to help; at least, Kendall would get help. He returned his hand to the bleeding wound, applying a light pressure to the area. It was then that he noticed the lack of response by Kendall. He looked up to his friend to see his pale face and slack features. Logan quickly tapped his cheeks to wake him, but while his eyes fluttered, he remained unresponsive. "N-N-No, no, no! Kendall, come on! Stay with me!"

With the last bit of strength he had, Kendall mumbled, "I-I-I c-can't... 'M t'red... It's too l'te..."

"No! Kendall! Please, stay with me! Please. I can't - I can't lose you too!"

"S-s-sor- S'rry..."

Through tear covered eyes, Logan watched as Kendall released his last breath and looked on in horror as his eyes closed and his features relaxed. With a shaking hand, he placed his two fingers in the crook of Kendall's neck, awaiting the comfort of a pulse he knew was not there. That was all he needed to completely lose control. Kendall was gone, as were Carlos and James. The three most important people in his life were dead all because of him. Logan sat in the middle of the back seat, shaking uncontrollably as body racking sobs tore through him. He was crying so hard, he didn't even hear the slight knock on the window from the paramedics.

"Sir, we're going get you all out of there. Are you hurt?"

The question sounded so dumb to him. Of course, he was hurt. His friends laid dead in the car because of him. The pain he was feeling was nothing that would be treated by bandaids and pain medication. It was an unbearable feeling of sheer guilt that pulled at his heart and made difficult to breathe. Yes, he was hurting; he was hurting so much he just wanted death to come.

"Sir, can you hear me? Everything is going to be okay," the paramedic continued after Logan's lack of response.

"No! You -You're w-wrong! Everything is not going to be okay! They're gone! They're all dead! I killed them," Logan yelled back, everything just becoming too much for him to handle. How could anything ever be the same again? He didn't deserve to be alive while his friends were no longer living because of him. He wished he had died in the accident too, that way they could all be together. He wouldn't have to live with the guilt and the four best friends would all still be.

A disturbing thought came to his mind as his eyes found a large piece of glass on the floor. Picking it up, he stared at it as he contemplated his actions, knowing that in normal circumstances, he would never do what he was about to do. However, just as the doubts got the best of him and he was about to drop the glass back on the floor, Kendall's last words replayed in him. He had killed his friends and he doubted he would survive the guilt anyway. He thought of having to tell Mrs. Knight and Katie, Jo and Camille, an d Gustavo and Kelly, of what he did, of the looks of shame and guilt he was sure they would place on him for killing their loved ones. It would be better if they all went together. Pulling up his sleeve, he welcomed the moment when he would see them again. He could hear the shouts of the paramedics, telling him to stop as they all realized what he was going to do.

"Logan! Don't do this! Come back to us!"

Logan was puzzled by the use of his name, wondering how total strangers knew his name, however, he didn't let the shock phase him. He had to do this, somehow knowing that it would bring him closer to his friends. He needed to be with his friends again. He couldn't survive alone. Therefore, he remained adamant in his decision, his grip tightening around the glass, shaking his head at the words of the paramedics.

"Please, Logan! Please!"

However, he pretended not to hear the pleading words, the tone of desperation. He merely whispered to himself, "I deserve this. I deserve to die too." He placed the sharp piece of glass on his wrist, the cool object feeling cold against skin and vein. Closing his eyes, he pulled the sharp edge against his wrist and awaited his reunion with his friends.

* * *

Kendall just remained frozen in his spot, arms wrapped around the grieving James. He still couldn't believe the words he said, couldn't make sense of the fact that Logan was gone. It was the thought that he had been dreading since he had opened his eyes and had hoped he had been lucky. He, Carlos, and James had survived. It didn't make sense why Logan had to - he couldn't even bring his brain to process that word. They were 17 years old, who dies at 17 years old? What kind of world did they live in where people died before they even lived? Logan hadn't even lived and yet, he was dead.

Carlos sat in the back seat, shaking his head vigorously. He closed his eyes, hoping that he was merely having a bad dream. He had probably closed his eyes and disobeyed Kendall's orders about not falling asleep. Yes, he was just sleeping and in any moment, he would wake up and everyone would be okay. However, when he finally did open his eyes, the scene remained unchanged. Kendall and James were crying and Logan - Logan wasn't Logan.

James had never cried so hard in his entire life. The tears came down in droves, his chest burning and his heart sore, but in Kendall's arms, the tears continued as he grieved the lose of Logan. Logan couldn't be dead. They were just laughing and singing merely 20 minutes ago and now they were crying and Logan was dead. Seeing Logan's still form sitting upright with his head hanging limply to the side, James still couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it.

"No, Logan is not gone..." James whispered, wiping his tears and pulling out of Kendall's embrace. He pushed Kendall aside and gingerly, as much as his injured leg would allow, moved closer to Logan. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he knew he had to do something. James never gave up to easily, never took no for an answer, unless it was his mother. He wouldn't accept Logan's death until he knew that he had tried everything. Beating on his chest, pulling his shoulder, shaking his entire body, James made every attempt to wake Logan.

"Logan! Don't do this! Come back to us!"

Kendall only looked on in sorrow at first, staring at James as he struggled to accept the fact that Logan was gone. He knew that James had such a strong resilience when it came to him getting whatever he wanted; it was how Kendall knew James would be famous once he told them his future goals in fifth grade. Therefore, he knew James would continue in his attempts until he got what he wanted - Logan awake. But he didn't have the heart to crush his friend's dream and before he knew it, he had joined James in his attempts at reviving Logan. Slapping his cheeks, he watched for any sign of life, prayed for a miracle. A blink, a muscle twitch, anything. He waited on bated breath for Logan to do anything. "Please, Logan! Please!" And then he noticed it. A soft, barely audible moan escaped Logan's lips.

Momentarily shocked at the sound, and hoping that he hadn't imagined it, Kendall slapped his cheek a little harder, hoping to elicit a more animated response. It worked; the low moan turned into a louder groan of pain that stopped both friends in their actions.

"Oh my God, he's waking up! Carlos! He's waking up!"

James heard Carlos shift in his seat, sitting at the edge so he was closer to Logan, but James's attention remained on Logan, who still struggled to return to the right side of unconsciousness. With a combined effort, Kendall and James shook Logan and watched as his eyes twitched in response to the action. Seconds later, his eyes fluttered in responsiveness and James felt his heart stop and restart again when he saw Logan's brown eyes staring back at him.

"J-J'mes... K'nd'l..."

"Logan! Oh, Loges! Thank God! You're okay!" James yelled, as he let out a huge sigh of relief. He had never been so happy to hear his name. Tears, which just moments before were from grief, fell freely, this time out of happiness. They had all survived this horrible nightmare. They were going to be okay.

Kendall just stared in shock, his mind having trouble processing the turn of events. They had been mourning Logan's death and now they were celebrating the fact that he was okay. The emotional rollercoaster he had just endured was enough to drive him insane, but there was no denying that he liked how the ride ended, with Logan back to him.

"Wh- wh't h'ppened?" Logan asked, his voice soft and his words still slurred. The feeling of disorientation was strong and his mind foggy. One second he was sleeping, dreaming about something - he couldn't remember- and then the next thing he knew, Kendall and James were in front of his face, slapping his cheek very hard. And he was cold very cold. Why was he so cold?

"There was an accident."

"Ac'dent? Wh-wh't kind 'f acc'dent?" Logan replied, as he mind slowly cleared and events of the night reappeared into his mind. They had been driving, he was driving. It was snowing and they were singing demos for their next CD. Then there was a van, a van that was driving too fast and kept hitting them. He had tried so hard to keep the car straight but the road was too slippery and the van kept hitting the bumper. He lost control of the car and they had spun. But they had been okay. They were all okay after that. When did they get into an accid-

"Oh no," Logan whispered, as he remembered the van heading straight for the car and the resulting impact. He had gotten them into a car accident. A car accident that could have killed them. They had trusted him to get him home safely, and he had failed. "Oh God, guys. I-I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"What? This is not your fault! You didn't do anything wrong!" Kendall said, momentarily shocked at Logan's comment. How could anything that happened be Logan's fault? He attempted to silence any more of Logan's ridiculous claims and remind him of how thankful they all were to be alright, but Logan continued as if he hadn't heard Kendall's comment.

"It was my idea to leave early. It was my fault that we were on the road driving to this storm in the first place. If we had just stayed that extra day, we would have never been on the road."

"Logan, that's not your fault. You have no control of the weather. Who could have known that -" James began to say, also trying to end Logan's guilt trip, but was stopped short as well.

"I should have been driving more carefully. I should have better control of the wheel. I lost control of the car. I'm the reason the van hit us! I just froze! And I broke my promise. I promised Carlos I'd get us home safely. Oh God, Carlos?!" Logan yelled, once he realized that Carlos wasn't in his line of sight.

"I'm right here, Logie. It's okay. We're all okay. It's not your fault. We'll all get ho-" Carlos replied, hoping his presence in the conversation would help calm Logan.

"N-no. It is my fault. It is! I could have gotten you all killed. I'm so sorry. So sor-"

"Logan, stop it!"

Kendall's deep voice cut through Logan's rant, forcing him into silence. He had heard enough of Logan blaming himself for something he had no control over. "Logan, look at me."

Logan's head hung low in shame. He couldn't bring himself to look Kendall in the eye, couldn't stomach the blame he was sure he would see. It wasn't until Kendall placed his hand on his cheek and pulled his head up did he get the chance to stare into Kendall's eye and see not anger or blame, but pure comfort and love.

"Logan, none of this is your fault, okay? No, you listen to me," Kendall said, as he saw Logan shake his head in denial. "You did not cause the accident. You were not driving that crazy van that caused us to spin out of control. And I know you tried your hardest to keep us safe. Stop apologizing. No one blames you. Heck, we're just happy that you're alive."

Looking at Logan, he realized just how close he was to losing him. Just as he did with James, he pulled Logan into a tight hug. James joined the embrace on the side and Carlos wrapped his arms around the back of the driver's seat to hug Logan from behind. The four friends remained in that tight embrace for awhile, each lost in their own thoughts. No words needed to be said between them, the mere fact that they were all together enough to say what didn't need to be said.

"Thank God, you guys are all okay. I-I don't know what I would do if I lost any of you guys. Don't ever do that to me again," Kendall said in mock annoyance, breaking the silence. It scared him how much he sounded like his mother when he said that and he gained a newfound respect for her protectiveness over them. He made a mental note to apologize to her for anytime he had made her worry as much as he had.

"We'll try not to, Kendall, but we can't make any promises," James replied, lightheartedly. "Man, I can't believe we survived this."

"I know, the car is totaled. It's a good thing we got that travelers insurance from the rental car company. Just another bill for Gustavo to pay when we get home."

" 'When we get home…'" Logan whispered, still having trouble accepting the fact that they were in a car accident. It was still hard for him to see the damage caused by the crash, the crushed hood wrapped around the tree and the numerous pieces of glass that was around them was too much for him to take in. He didn't even want to risk seeing the rest of the carnage, confident he would lose what little control he had on his emotions. While the guilt remained, threatening to consume him, he chose to keep his guilty conscience quiet. He had caused the accident that nearly killed his best friends, but he swore to himself that he would do whatever in his power to get the home safely. "I don't care about the car. All that matters is that we are all okay and we're going to make it out of this alright. You guys are okay, right?"

"Honestly, Logan, you were the one that nearly died. We should be asking you if you're okay. Are you hurt at all?" James asked, as memories of the past few minutes replayed in his mind.

"My head hurts a little bit and chest feels like its on fire. I think I might have bruised my ribs," Logan answered honestly, taking into his injuries for the first time since he woke up. "But, it doesn't hurt too much. So, how about you guys? I mean, Kendall, you look like crap."

"So I've heard, but, its just a little cut on my head, " Kendall replied, downplaying his injury as something minor, keeping his attention on Carlos. "Believe me, Carlos looks much worse."

"Carlos?" Logan questioned, as he turned his head to get a good look of his friend in the back seat. Kendall was right; while he only had a single trail of blood down the side of his forehead, Carlos's entire left side of his face was covered with blood. "Oh, Carlitos."

"It looks much worse than it really is and the bleeding is slowing down. But, I got another concussion and I hate it," Carlos sulked in the back, as if he had just been told there were not going to have fish stick Fridays.

"It's okay, buddy. Head injuries just bleed a lot for no reason. Just keep putting pressure on the cut and remember no sleeping just yet," Logan replied, relieved to see the common signs of a serious concussion where no evident just yet. He silently hoped Carlos was suffering from just a minor concussion. "How about you, James?"

"Just a couple of manly cuts and bruises on my face. And my leg is bleeding from a cut or something."

He had said it so nonchalant, Logan would have thought it was just little flesh wound, but when he saw the pooling blood surrounding James's lower leg, Logan knew that it was serious.

"Shoot, James. Your losing a lot of blood. That's not just some cut," Logan said, as he quickly deflated the airbag in front of him to get closer to inspect James's leg. He unbuckled his seatbelt and began to move in his seat when a sharp pain shot through his left side. Instinctively, his hand went to the site of the pain, hoping it was just a sore muscle or a product of the bruised ribs. He had not been prepared for his hand to be greeted by a long thin shard of glass imbedded in his side. Unable to stop himself, Logan let out a cry of pain and alarm that did not go unnoticed by his friends. Three different voices shouted his name in fear. He quickly tried to hide the look of shock on his face with a forced smile. "It's okay. I'm alright, guys. I might have underestimated just how much bruised ribs hurt."

He was relieved to see the worried expressions leave his friends eyes because he didn't have the heart to tell them the true cause of his pain. Kendall returned to helping Carlos with his bleeding head wound and James waited patiently for Logan's assistance on his leg. Seeing James staring at him in anticipation, Logan quickly replied, "I'm just going to need a few minutes to gather myself. That really took a lot of me." If James didn't believe him, he didn't show it. He just nodded his head in affirmation and watched what Kendall and Carlos was doing.

Looking down, he stared at the piece of glass and resultant blood leaving the wound. It was no wonder why the obtrusive object went unnoticed by his friends; the airbag hid it well and his black sweater and jacket made it impossible to make out the large blood stain. Logan knew a lot about penetrating wounds and understood the worse thing to do was pull out the glass without knowing the extent of the internal damage. There was no way of knowing just how deep the glass was and while the cut still bled, removing the object could cause him to bleed out. However, he didn't want to scare his friends with an injury that they really couldn't do anything about. So he broke off the piece of glass that was visibly sticking out, careful not to jostle the remaining piece that he left inside. He was able to contain his cry of pain of pain by biting his lower lip to suppress the sound which unnoticed by his friends.

Logan doubted he could keep his cut a secret for very long. His friends were right; he was a terrible liar. But he knew there was no point in alerting his friends, nothing good would result if he told of them of the wound. Kendall would fuss over him and not let him help at all. James would be protective and worry about him constantly. And Carlos would stare at him as if he would keel over any minute. In order to help his friends, in order to ensure their wounds were treated and they didn't worry, he would hid his wound from them. There was nothing that could be done outside of a hospital except watching it, and Logan could do that with scaring his friends. It wasn't that serious of a cut anyway, just a scratch. Right now, the wound didn't matter, he had to tend to James.

"Okay, James, let me get a look at the leg," Logan said, as he moved his body more gingerly toward James. He was conscious not to stretch too far and pull his side, and was able to make it James side relatively pain free.

It was difficult to see the extent of the wound that was producing such a large amount of blood around James's leg, but one look at James's pale face and clammy skin, Logan knew it was serious. He only hoped that any artery was nicked or it would be difficult to stop the bleeding.

"James, any numbness or tingling in your leg?"

"Numbness... Is that bad?"

"You still have feeling so it's not bad. But we have to stop the amount of blood you're losing and keep the cut as clean as we can," Logan replied, as he looked around for anything he could use to put on top of the wound. "Kendall, is there anything back there I can use for James's leg?"

Kendall turned in his seat, and by doing so, brought his injured shoulder into Logan's line of vision.

"Holy crap, Kendall, what the heck happened to your shoulder?" Logan questioned, his attention momentarily diverted from on friend to another.

Kendall cringed inwardly at the remark. He didn't like the tone of worry Logan's voice carried. His shoulder injury wasn't that serious. In fact, with all the excitement he had in past ten minutes, he had completely forgotten about it. "Uhh, it's nothing, Loges. Just a little cut. Nothing to worry about."

"Yea, I'll be the judge of that. You're next after James," Logan said, as he watched Kendall favor the injured shoulder and the awkward position in rested into the panel of his jacket. He heard Kendall grumble some incomprehensible comment as he handed Logan a long piece of fabric but he pretended not to hear it. "Ok, James, I have to wrap this around your leg like a tourniquet to stem the bleeding. I just want to warn you, it'll probably hurt a lot."

"Uhhh, yea, is there a pain-free option?" James asked. Upon seeing Logan's lack of a sense of humor at the comment, he continued, "I'll take that as a no. Well, I'm ready."

As gently as he could Logan lifted James leg as few centimeters from the seat and slipped the fabric underneath it. He tied the two ends right above the bleeding area and pulled with a great deal of force to constrict the area. James's gut wrenching cry of pain tore at the heartstrings of everyone in the car, as the shrill sound echoed and bounced through the walls. He squeezed his eyes shut hoping to block out the pain, praying it would lessen, but it continued to throb and pulsate as if the pain were a living being. His breaths came in short pants of breath and he concentrated on anything but his leg.

"It's okay, James. Just breathe through the pain," Logan said, comfortingly. It pained him to see his friend like that, enduring such a great deal of agony, but he knew it was necessary to ensure that he regained full mobility, or even kept the leg. Slowly, James's cries of pain decreased to soft moans.

"T-that... That w-was a p-piece of c-cake," James replied, in a pain filled voice.

"You did great, buddy," Carlos said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Yea, James. We just have to keep that on your leg until the ambulance co... Oh no, did we call 911 yet?"

"I tried before," Kendall answered, pulling out his cellphone. "But my phone is dead. How about you guys?"

Carlos shook his head slowly. "Remember, my phone fell into my chocolate milk last week. I still haven't gotten my new one yet."

Logan reached into the front pocket of his sweater for his cellphone. The cracked screen and busted battery told him what he had already feared. "My phone's broken. Must have been caused by the steering wheel."

"We might be in luck, guys," James replied, showing his friends his small smartphone. "Oh no, I have no signal! I can't make an outgoing call."

"Not even an emergency call?!"

Hopeful, James pressed the numbers and placed the phone to his ears, his heart dropping as the seconds ticked by without the reassuring sound of ringing. Without a signal, it was impossible to make a call for help. "No, it's not going through!"

"What are we going to do? We can't call 911. We're in the middle of nowhere. How is anyone going to find us?" Carlos said, his voice raising an octave every few words in panic.

"Carlos, relax, buddy. We're going to be fine. All these rental cars have roadside assistance that is automatically notified at the moment of collision. They probably already know about the accident and are sending ambulances and officers as we speak," Logan replied.

"Yea, and look, the snow is lessening. Help should be here in no time," Kendall added, hoping to calm his friend. However, he couldn't help but fear the amount of waiting time they had ahead of them. "We'll just stay in the car, bundle up with some of the coats and blankets from the suitcases, and wait for help to arrive. It shouldn't be much longer."

"I hope so, because this sucks. My head hurts, my nose hurts, I'm hungry, and my nose hurts," Carlos whined, grumpily.

"You said that already, Carlitos," James said.

"I know, but it really does hurt! Logan, are you sure my nose isn't broken?"

"I'm pretty sure, Carlos. There would be midline deviation of the cartilage -"

"English, please."

"Your nose would be in an angle or shifted to the side if it was broken. Your nose looks exactly the same, just more bloody," Logan smiled.

"You sure? Because I don't think I can smell right anymore. I keep smelling something harsh and it keeps hurting my nose," Carlos answered. He couldn't explain the smell, but the scent that was assaulting his nose was strong and irritating.

"Carlos, there is no -"

"Wait, Logan, I smell it too," Kendall interrupted, as he took a deep breath into the air.

"What?" Logan sniffed hard, preparing to discredit both Carlos's and Kendall's claims. However, he noticed a strange smell as well. It was so faint, not harsh at all. "Wait, that smells like... Oh no, we have to get out of this car."

"What?" James exclaimed, confused at how Logan just contradicted the previous plan about staying in the car. "Logan, Kendall just said that our best bet would be to stay in the car."

"Yea, well, that was before I realized that the engine is on fire, making the car a ticking time bomb. We have to get out of the car. Now."


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Just would like to thank everyone who has reviewed, followed, and/or placed this story on their favorite list. It means a lot and I feel the love. To express my heartfelt thanks, I was able to get this chapter up a week early... Yay! Minor language warning. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 5 - The Sky Without the Sun

James had to visibly shake his head to make sure he had heard correctly. He had lost a great deal of blood, there was a very good possibility his hearing might have been compromised from the significant blood loss. Yes, that he was it. He was so dazed and confused from the pain and the blood loss that he hadn't heard correctly, because there was absolutely no way that Logan had said what he thought Logan said.

"Come again?" James asked, leaning his ear forward.

"Yea, Loges, you're going to have to explain that last comment," Kendall said in the back, shaking off the initial shock.

"Look, guys, we have to get out of this car. I don't have time to go into the physics behind what's going to happen but -"

"Enlighten us, please, because I'm confused. I mean, there's not even smoke, Logan. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Kendall. What you guys are smelling is the oil vapors from the engine, meaning that the engine is on fire. The reason why there is no smoke is because the cold and howling wind is blowing the smoke upward before we have a chance to see it. Hot air rises, cold air falls. Now, guys, we have to get out of this car before the fire in the engine reaches a gas line."

"Wait, what happens when the fire reaches a gas line?" Carlos asked, his voice full of fear from this new unseen danger.

"Nothing good, Carlitos. Ok, Kendall, you and Carlos, take as much stuff from the back as you can as you guys exit the car. Don't try to take much with you, just enough to carry," Logan instructed, glad that his friends finally understood what he was so scared about.

Kendall numbly shook his head in response, his head still reeling from the information that Logan just said. As usual, Logan's genius amazed him, but this was one of the few times he wished that Logan was wrong. He hoped that Logan was just overreacting with his notion that the car would explode in any minute. Nevertheless, that didn't stop him from listening, and he gathered all that he could carry in his arms. It was difficult to do with his injured shoulder, which he continued to keep tucked securely in his jacket, the movement causing the sharp pain to return. It momentarily paralyzed him, and he had to take a few minutes to gather himself. He pretended not to notice Logan staring at him through the remaining glass in the rearview mirror and the concerned look in his eyes. He was sure he would be under Logan's vulture eyes as soon as they escaped the car; he couldn't wait.

Carlos was having trouble understanding what was going on. He had thought it was just an annoying smell, just a sign that the injury to his nose might have been more serious than originally thought. How did that turn into the car exploding? That didn't make sense, but he knew better than to question Logan. If Logan thought the car wasn't safe, the car wasn't safe. And if Logan thought they had to get out of the car, he would get out of the car. But he wouldn't forget his helmet; Carlos had a funny feeling thought that Logan would want him to keep that in the exploding car. Not going to happen, he thought, as he reached for the helmet next to Kendall's leg. He placed it on his head as carefully as could only hissing slightly as it made contact to the gash in his forehead.

Alerted by Carlos's slow hiss of pain, Logan shifted his gaze from Kendall, who was doing a horrible job at downplaying his shoulder injury, to Carlos. He couldn't help the small smile that crept on his face at the sight of Carlos with his helmet on. If he were honest with himself, he was glad to see it on him. It would help prevent any further head damage. The last thing Carlos needed was to hit his head again.

"How about us, Loges? Is there anything we need to grab before we blow this popsicle stand? No pun intended," James said, eager to help as much as possible.

"There is not much for us to grab seeing as the front of the car is pretty dam- wait. James, can you reach the glove compartment or what's left of it anyway?" Logan asked, as he remembered that he almost forgot something very important.

"Uhhh, let me try," James grunted as he leaned forward to reach the destroyed part of the dashboard. With a little effort, which his injured leg made a little more difficult, he was able to pry the metal open revealing a large white box with a large red medical cross on top of it. "Your first aid kit."

"Yep, I never leave home without it. Pass to me."

Once in his hands, Logan threw the box out the window, making sure it landed far away from the exploding car. "Alright, buddy. We are good to go."

"Dammit," Kendall screamed, alerting all his friends. "My door is pinned by a tree. I can't open it!" He played with the handle and pushed against the door but the door would not budge. It was pressed too tightly against the tree, making it impossible for him to even slip through a crack.

"It's okay, just get out behind Carlos. Carlos, is your door alright?" Logan asked.

"Yea," Carlos replied, opening his door with ease.

"Great. Okay, hurry so Kendall can follow behind you."

"And hey, don't forget the corndogs in the cooler under -"

"Already a step ahead of you, James," Carlos called back, lifting his arm to show the cooler in his tight and secure grip. Again, the smile that came appeared on its accord.

"How about you, guys?" Kendall questioned, realizing that neither of his friends had made an attempt to exit the car yet.

"Don't worry. We're right behind you guys," Logan replied. He turned in his seat to face the door, and grabbed at the handle to push at the door. He felt resistance in his force, and the door wouldn't budge. However, before he had a chance to push the door harder, Kendall screaming Carlos's name stole his attention.

Carlos had been able to make it out of the car safely, his feet landing on the snow covered ground effortlessly. However, the movement or the flurry of activity had been a little too much for the concussed boy to handle. As he stared out into the wooded area, he realized that while he stood still, the trees continued to move. He knew that couldn't be true, trees didn't move. And yet, there he was standing against the car, watching as the trees in front of him moved in and out of his vision. He tried to shake his head to stop the movement, but all that did was make it worse. His head just kept spinning until dark spots appeared in his vision. He didn't even notice he was falling down until Kendall appeared in front of him a lot taller than usual.

Kendall knew something was wrong with Carlos once he realized that Carlos wasn't saying much. Carlos was usually never silent. The constant bundle of energy, Carlos always had a way of making himself known. So, a quiet Carlos meant one of two things: either he was scared, which regarding the circumstances could have very much been the case, or two: he wasn't feeling good. For some reason, Kendall felt inclined to go with the latter, and hurriedly rushed out the car door to assess his friend closer. By that time, Carlos's face was pale and his eyes seemed unable to focus. Before he even had a chance to question Carlos on his symptoms, Carlos fell against the car and slowly slid down until he sat beside the back tire.

"Carlos!" Kendall screamed. He instinctively stretched his arms out to catch his falling friend, but his injured shoulder stopped him. He could only kneel beside the disoriented Carlos. "Hey, buddy, look at me."

"I-I'm okay. I think I just moved too fast. I got a little dizzy," Carlos answered, his voice losing the previous lighthearted tone. It was weird to hear Carlos sound so serious.

"You sure yo-"

"What happened?!"

"Is Carlos okay?"

Both James and Logan asked with voices full of concern, as they strained to witness the scene that was happening outside the car. Kendall knew he probably worried them by calling out Carlos's name the way he did, but he couldn't control the fear he felt at seeing Carlos collapse to the floor.

"Yea, sorry, guys. Carlos is okay. Just a dizzy spell from moving too fast. He's alright," Kendall replied, addressing the two. He returned his attention back to Carlos, eyeing him closely, making sure his words were true. He was glad to see some color return to his face as he sat to regain his strength. "We'll just sit here until you're ready to move."

"No, Kendall. I'm okay," Carlos answered, already attempting to push off from the side of the car. He understood that more pressing matters needed their attention than his throbbing head. He was sure that the pain would lessen once everything settled down, but right now he needed to concentrate on the potentially exploding car. "Come on, we have to get more stuff out the car."

"No, Carlos, it's not important. Just take a few minutes and -"

"Kendall, I'm fine," Carlos responded, his voice sounding very convincing to his own ears. He placed his hand on the snow covered ground, preparing to lift himself with or without Kendall's help. "You don't have to -"

He stopped midsentence as his hands made contact with a warm thick liquid that engulfed his unsuspecting his hand. Turning toward the spot where his spot hand laid, Carlos saw a large pool of dark brown fluid that seemed to be flowing downstream. Where it was coming from, Carlos could only speculate, but one thing he knew for sure, was that it's presence was nothing good.

"Kendall... Look," Carlos whispered, raising his oil covered hand and pointing to a small trickle of fluid that made it's way through the snow like a stream.

"Crap."

That was the only word that came to mind at the sight. The car was leaking gas. As carefully as he could, he leaned forward and bent low to inspect the location of the gas spill. He found it - a persistent dripping of the clear liquid - at the front end of the car; the main gas line had been broken. Kendall vaguely remembered Logan saying something bad would happen if the engine fire made contact with any gas lines, and he immediately realized that the situation became even more serious. Within a matter of seconds, he was on his feet, racing toward the front of the car to inspect the volatile engine.

He didn't have to get too close to witness the fire that was flickering underneath the damaged hood of the car. Tiny orange flames jumped in and out of the engine, dancing through the crumpled material of the car. The smoke that Logan had said was invisible appeared in front of him in thin clouds of air, and then disappeared in the howling winds. Kendall could only stare at the visual proof at Logan's statement. The engine was on fire, and while it was manageable for now, there was no telling when the damage would extend to the rest of the car.

"Ok, Logan, it looks like you were right," Kendall replied, as he made his way over to the driver side door.

"It pains me to hear that you doubted me," Logan responded, in exaggerated shock. He had to admit he had been hoping he was overreacting; he was known to overreact over the littlest things. So, he had silently hoped this was one of those times and the smell was just his imagination. By the look of Kendall's face, he realized that the situation was grave. "How bad is it?" He quickly asked, the light tone gone and fear instead in its absence, awaiting what he was sure would be troubling news.

"The engine is on fire, but luckily its pretty contained. Just light flickers of a fire, but nothing too fast," Kendall answered.

"Ok, that's good. Help me get this car door open before the fire reaches the gas," Logan replied, breathing a sigh of relief. The engine fire was still manageable, meaning they still had time to get out of the car safely, however, Kendall didn't seem to be as happy as he was at the fact.

"The gas is already leaking, Logan."

"Ok, we have to get out now," Logan said, turning to James, who he noticed was having trouble with his own door. He waited, watching as James fumbled with the door handle a few times, before the sound of metal moving told him the door was opening. Seeing James open door, Logan finally felt he could exit the car. He pushed against his own door, using his shoulder in an attempt to force it open, however, the resistance he found was too much. The door didn't even budge.

It was taking too long, Kendall thought. Seeing the leaking gas, knowing that it was just a matter of time before it made its way to the burning engine unnerved him and he needed to get Logan and James out of the car soon. But that seemed easier said than done, as he struggled to the pull the driver side door as Logan pushed, and yet, the door didn't move. The door was bent out of shape; it was the point of direct contact in the accident and therefore took the brunt of the impact. The hinges were unrecognizable and they seemed unwilling to bend to release Logan.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Holy crap! The door is stuck!" Logan shouted. He had not been prepared for this turn of events. He had been able to handle the accident. He had been able to tolerate his friends injuries and his own. He had even been able to stomach the idea of an impending car explosion. But this - having to deal with the car door being stuck - was too much for Logan to understand. No law of physics or principle in chemistry could help him understand the series of unfortunate events that were affecting him and his friends. He could feel himself lose what little patience he had for the situation. "Kendall! Help!"

"Don't worry, Logan. I'll get you out. I just have to find a way to-"

Kendall's words were cut short by James's loud cry of pain on the other side of the car. "James!"

"Ahhh! M-my leg! Oh God, my l-le...leg, it's stuck! I can't... I can't get it out! It- It hurts," James said, as he desperately grabbed at his leg to stop the immense pain that was coursing through it. He had been so happy to see his door open without any trouble, thinking he was one step closer toward freedom and escaping this horrible nightmare. He did not expect the white hot pain that came with freedom though. As soon as he made a movement toward the car door, he realized that his injured leg was pinned under the mangled dashboard. He tried to pull at it, first gently so that he didn't cause himself any pain, but as the attempts continued without any means of release, James had started to panic, trying harder and harder to get his leg free. He continued until the pain was just too much and he couldn't stop the cry of pain that escaped his lips from the action.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Kendall repeated, the words addressed to no one in particular. He was just finding it so hard to believe their bad luck at this moment.

"Uh, Kendall, I think we have established that we are not kidding," Logan shot back.

"Yea, sorry. James, hold on buddy. I'm going to help Logan open his door and then I'll be right over to help you," Kendall replied, feeling himself grow weary just thinking about how much time he didn't have to get both Logan and James out of the car and how he didn't have the heart to choose between his two best friends if he had to.

"I can help," Carlos said, still sitting down by the back of the car. He had been able to gather himself a little while he rested against the car. The trees no longer moved in and out of focus, even though his vision still appeared blurry from time to time. But he wasn't going to let a little double vision keep him from helping his friends. They needed him and as long as he was able to stand on his two feet he would be able to help them. He could tell Kendall was hesitant in accepting his aid.

"Carlos, you should just rest, okay? You have a pretty bad concussion and I don't -"

"Kendall, I'm fine. Look, you stay here and help Logan and I'll go to the other side and help James," Carlos cut in, his voice carrying a tone that the discussion was over. He was on his feet in a matter of seconds, not waiting to hear what else Kendall had to say, and made his way to the passenger side of the door.

From his seat in the back, he had not been able to make out James's injuries. He had known James's leg was injured but seeing the damaged leg for the first time nearly caused Carlos to collapse on the ground once again. He was not prepared for the gruesome scene, not prepared to see James, who usually had an air of confidence, so pale and broken. The pain was taking its toll on him.

"H-Hey, Carlitos. M-my l-leg is pretty stuck. I-I can't seem to - I can't get it out. And then - the car... The car it's going to explode. I-I have to get out... But I can't," James stuttered, his words coming out in a jumbled mess, as if it were difficult for him to form a coherent thought. Carlos didn't know much about the effects of blood loss; heck, he didn't know much about medicine at all. But, he did know that James was in bad shape if he was unable to talk clearly, either from the pain or out of pure shock. Whatever the cause, Carlos knew that James needed him and he needed to know that he wasn't alone.

"It's okay, James. I'm here and I'm going to get you out of here."

* * *

Kendall watched the whole exchange in both pride and fear. He was first proud of Carlos's bravery to put himself back in danger to help James. The boy who was always scared of everything maturing into a courageous young man right before his eyes - he had never been more honored to be his friend. And yet, it was that bravery that scared him. Kendall had been so relieved to know that Carlos had been free from the car and away from the looming explosion; but now, to help James, Carlos had put himself back in harm's way and Kendall had to deal with the troubling fact that all his friends were in danger once again. He couldn't imagine what would happen if any of them didn't make it through this - if he lost one of them. He remembered the immense grief he felt when he thought he lost Logan; he couldn't go through that again for real. He wouldn't. They're going to be okay. Kendall would make sure of that.

"Ok, Logan, you are going to have to help me with this," Kendall said, Carlos's actions sparking a new sense of resilience and purpose in him. "Push as hard as you can and I'll pull okay? On the count of three. Ready?"

Logan just stared at Kendall for a moment, trying to understand how Kendall's plan would be different from what they had already tried. He was sure this "newly devised" plan would not produce any different results. Nevertheless, he nodded his head in an agreement, anticipating the countdown.

"One... Two... Three!"

With all the strength he could gather with only one functioning hand, Kendall pulled on the car door, holding on to it until he felt his hand grow raw. Logan did the same, pushing against the frame of the door with his shoulder with all his might, until the sharp pain returned to his side causing him to groan out in pain once again.

"'Ssss..." Logan hissed as the sting of the glass stopped him as he pushed against the door. For a second, with all the danger he and his friends were in, Logan had forgotten about the piece of glass that was stuck in his side. He had been able to keep the pain at bay, merely a dull annoying sensation when he wasn't moving. But, pushing and using his abdominal muscles as leverage for the force, he had aggravated the bleeding wound to the point that the resulting pain was paralyzing. Logan stopped, his hand clutching his side, hoping to somehow stop the torture that was keeping him from escaping the car. He tried not to notice the increased amount of blood that soaked his hand, and hoped his look of shock did not alert Kendall of his serious condition. A quick glance into his concerned stare, Logan could already tell that Kendall was suspicious.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm okay," Logan answered to the question Kendall asked with his eyes.

Kendall remained skeptical. His instincts said that there was something off with Logan, as if he were more injured than he was telling, but he wanted to believe that his best friend would not lie to him regarding something so serious like injuries from a car accident. However, that didn't stop him from question his friend further. "Logan, are you sur-"

"Yes, Kendall. Now, come on. We have to get this car door open so we can help Carlos with James," Logan replied, cutting Kendall off and responding in a tone that clearly ended the discussion. For now at least, Kendall thought.

They resumed their positions and at the same time, with a slight nod from Logan, continued their attempts at freeing the jarred car door. This time, Logan endured the pain silently, pushing with all his strength against the resistant metal. He forced the increasing pain to the back of his mind, not allowing it to impede on his mission to helping his friends. He fought through it, continuing even as black spots swam into his vision. However, while his will was strong, the door seemed stronger - it didn't move at all. His breathing heavy and forehead sweat soaked, Logan stared at his equally exhausted friend.

"There's no use, Kendall. The door won't budge. The impact warped the metal to the point where the door won't open on the hinges. It's virtually impossible with you pulling with one hand and me pushing with my messed up ribs. It - it won't open," Logan said defeated.

"Well, we have to try something. We have to get you out of the car, Logan," Kendall replied, not planning on giving up anytime soon. Or ever. He looked around the snow covered ground for any object that could be used to pry the car door open. He vaguely remembered a news story about a car accident where firefighters had to use a machine to cut through the metal to get people out of the car. While he didn't have the Jaws of Life to help him, he would take anything he could find to get Logan out of the car. "We just have to find another way."

Logan didn't share in Kendall's determination. He had expended all his energy on trying to open the car door, he was unable to form any coherent thoughts, to think of another solution. He was just so tired. He looked straight ahead, staring at the flames that had increased in size. Mere tiny flickers of yellow minutes ago, the flames danced mockingly around the hood of the car, smoke rising in billows. The fire was no longer localized to the engine. It was spreading and it was only a matter of time before the fire reached the leaking gas. There wasn't much time. He looked toward James and Carlos, observing the trouble they were having pulling James's leg free.

"Kendall..." Logan whispered, as he feared he wouldn't escape the car in time.

"If I can just find something to stick between the hinges, I can hopefully pry the door away from the car all together. That should work," Kendall said, oblivious to the defeated thoughts running through Logan's mind. It wasn't until he turned to face his friend that he noticed Logan's defeated attitude. "What?"

"There isn't much time left."

"I know. That's why I have to find a large thick piece of wood to get you free."

"Maybe you should go help Carlos with James."

"What?" Kendall asked, dumbly, hoping he had heard wrong.

"You should go help Carlos with James's leg while...I - uhhh, figure out how to get out. There - there has to be some way that we just didn't think of," Logan replied, the lie sounding horrible to his own ears. He knew Kendall would see right through his false sense of hope.

"Bullshit," Kendall shot back, already one step ahead of Logan. He knew what Logan was trying to do. "Look, I'm not giving up on you, Logan and I'm not letting you give up on yourself. I am going to get you out of this freaking car and then together we'll help get James out. And, after that's done, all four of us will figure out how to get back home."

"But Kendall, you don't get it. There isn't -"

"No, Logan, you don't get it. I'm not going to leave you and I'll do whatever I have to to get you out of there. Even if I have to pull you out of this car myself - bum shoulder and all. I'll do it," Kendall shouted, trying to get the words to sink in. It was then that an idea sparked in his mind so suddenly that he almost yelled out 'Eureka'. "That's it. Logan move away from the door." Taking a small stick from the ground, he knocked out the glass in the driver's window. While the collision caused the window to shatter, jagged fragments of glass remained around the windows frame. Kendall cleared them away in a hurry, only satisfied when the space was glass free.

"Kendall, what the heck are you doing?" Logan asked, watching his friend in shock.

"I'm clearing away your escape route," he answered nonchalantly. "You're getting out through the window."

"Are you serious?"

"I have never been more serious in my life," Kendall replied, staring in Logan's eyes to show he meant every word. "Now, come on, let's get you out of there."

"Kendall, this is crazy. There is no way I'm going to be able to fit through the window."

"Yes, you will. I've seen it done hundreds of times on TV with people twice your size. You'll fit. Now, let's go."

"No, Kendall. I can't… I can't."

Kendall could see the look of doubt and hesitancy all over Logan's face, as his mind calculated all the pros and cons regarding his plan. And while Kendall didn't like it, noticing the flaws in the details, he also realized that it was their last resort. The only way left for Logan to escape the car. "Logan, look at me. I'm not going to lose you. I made a promise to you guys, a promise that I would be there when you needed me. Well, here I am. I'm here for you. And right now, I need you to be here for me. You can do this."

Kendall outstretched his hand and waited for Logan to grab it an acceptance. Logan just stared at it, letting Kendall's words sink in. And then, he lifted up his own hand to join Kendall's. "Come on. We don't have much time."

* * *

James had never experienced the level of pain he was currently enduring. Each failed attempt at freeing his leg had forced the pain to rise another level. It was unrelenting and unbearable; James doubted he could withstand the pain much longer. And yet, little progress was made in getting his leg free, it remained stuck under the misshapen and mangled piece of metal. Carlos had been trying for the past few minutes all he could to lessen the hold the dashboard had on James's leg, but all his efforts seemed to be yield no results. All they had managed to do was cause James more pain.

"C-C-Car- Carlos...pl-please stop. I-It's too much. I-I can't t-take ... It's too much," James stuttered, as Carlos tried once again to pull James's leg free, resulting in a wave of pain that threatened to render James unconscious once again.

Carlos let out a deep sigh of frustration. He hated this. Here he was trying to rescue one of his friends from a possible exploding car and he was failing horribly. He had made no progress in freeing James's leg and he was pretty sure he was causing more harm than good. He could see the look of pure agony that swept across James's face every time he tried to pull his leg free. He could hear the muffled cries of pain that James emitted with every failure and it pained Carlos to know he was the cause of that.

"James, I'm so sorry. I know it hurts. But this is the only way. I have to pull to get your leg out," Carlos said, hating himself for the words he said. He turned James face so that he could look into his eyes and James could know that his sympathy was sincere, that he absolutely hated himself for what he had to do. The pain filled eyes that stared back at him nearly broke his heart, but he was relieved to see understanding. James nodded his head, a sign for Carlos to continue. Carlos waited for him to close his eyes before he pulled once more on James's injured leg. This time James was unable to contain the cry of pain that tore for his body.

"Ahhh!" James yelled, tears erupting in his eyes and falling down his cheek before he had a chance to control them. It was too much. The pain had reached the point where it triggered every nerve ending to the point of explosion. He couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted it to end. "I-I can't... C'rl's... 'T h'rts t'mch..."

Carlos stopped at the sound of anguish, his heart clenching so tight, he was sure it almost stopped. James kept his head pressed tightly against the headrest, his breaths coming in quick and short pants of air. Carlos could tell he was trying to fight through the pain, but could sense his resilience waning. He was reaching his breaking point.

"There has to be another way then. There's gotta be another way for me to get you out of here," Carlos replied. However, James just shook his head in disagreement.

"I-it's n-n-no use, 'litos. It's - it's stuck too tight. There's no way you're going to get it out," James whispered, knowing that what he said was true.

"What? No! There has to be a way!" Carlos yelled back, no accepting the finality in James's voice. It sounded like James was giving up, like he was just going to stay in the car and allow himself to... "No! I'm going to find a way to get you out of there."

"Carlos, don't you see? The fire is getting worse. It's only a matter of time -"

"I don't care," Carlos replied, as he stared at the hood of the car. James was right. Large orange flames were now engulfing the distorted metal that once was the hood of their small car. But he didn't care. He was going to get James out of the car.

"I care, Carlos! I'm not going to let you die with me when you can get away."

"James, don't say that! You're - you're not going to die. I'm going to -"

"You did good, Carlos. Really good. There was just - there was nothing you do," James said. "Now, you have to go, okay, buddy. You have to go and save yourself."

"James, stop it! Stop talking like that. We still have time. There's still another way."

"Carlos, you have to go."

"No, James! I'm not leaving you!"

"Carlos, go!"

"No, I-I just have to try harder. I have to pull harder," Carlos said, bending down to pull at James's leg once more. But James blocked him and using the little strength he left, pushed Carlos away from him and away from the car. He pushed Carlos so hard, Carlos fell onto the snow in a heap. He was happy to see that he hadn't caused him to hit his head. However, his happiness was short lived as he remembered the reason why he had to push his friend away.

"Carlos, leave!" James shouted, as he stared at his fallen friend and pointed in a direction that was far from the car. Carlos stared back in pure shock; he never thought that James would ever push him away. The hurt he felt at the action was undeniable, but the feeling of utter failure was even more overwhelming. So much so, that he couldn't stomach even looking James in the eyes. But he couldn't tear his eyes away at the sight - James's sad eyes telling him to leave as he sat still in the snow. Every fiber in his body told him to keep going, every thought in his body tried to come up with one more way to save his friend. Carlos didn't want to think that this could be the end. He didn't want to say good bye to one of his best friends. But, he could see it in James's eyes that it was too late. Without anymore words to say, Carlos slowly crawled away from the car, his eyes never leaving James's and tears flowing from them as he left him behind.

It pained James to see Carlos's retreating figure but at the same time, he was happy knowing that at least Carlos was safe. He hoped that Carlos would find it in his heart to forgive him, that over time he would understand that James had to push him away to save him. He turned toward the driver's seat and watched as Kendall continued his attempts at pulling Logan out of the car through the window. He was almost free, his torso passing through the frame with ease. He hoped there was enough time for Logan to escape and then he would at least know all his friends were okay before he died.

James wondered what it would feel like. Would it hurt? Would it be pain free? What was heaven like? Who would he see? The smoke was starting to enter the car and the noxious fumes caused him to cough harshly. He hoped the smoke would knock him out before the car exploded, he dreaded feeling the fire of the explosion. He was already starting to feel tired. He started to run through the people he would miss besides his band mates, saying private goodbyes to his parents, Mama Knight, and Katie. He had reached Gustavo when a large and thick piece of wood fell beside him, next to determined Carlos.

"C-C-Carlos? What are you doing here?"

"Saving your pretty boy butt. Now, be quiet."

"But the car... It's going to explode any minute," James replied, still not believing that Carlos stood beside him. He hoped it was the toxic fumes from the engine fire that was causing him to have this hallucination. Carlos could not be near him, he had to be safe.

"I'm well aware of that James. And, I'm also aware of your promise to get one of the Jennifers to be my girlfriend. You still haven't done that so you can't die yet," Carlos replied, squashing James idea of an hallucination.

"No, Carlos, this is serious. You can't be here. You have to -"

"Shut up, James! I'm not leaving you. And I'm going to get you out of this car. So, close your mouth and let me get to work," Carlos replied, with a tone that meant he was serious and meant every word.

Returning his concentration to the piece of wood he brought with him, he placed the wood inside the car and positioned it in between the floor of the car and the bottom of the dashboard like wedge. Using his weight, Carlos pushed down on the wood, watching as it was able to push the metal upward. James watched in wonder and awe at Carlos's actions, still shocked that he totally disregarded what he said but thankful at the same time.

"Can - can you get your leg free?" Carlos strained as he used all his strength to pry James's leg free.

"No, not yet," James answered, pulling with all the strength he had left to pull on his leg but to no avail. While he felt the pressure loosen around his leg, the space he gained was still too little for him to wiggle free. At this point, the smoke was getting unbearable, making it virtually impossible to see in front of him and causing him to breath heavily from the fumes invading his lungs.

If it affected Carlos at all, he didn't show it. Carlos merely nodded, repositioned the wood closer, and pushed down on the wood with more of his weight. He unleashed a deep cry, nearly animalistic as he applied his weight and added pressure onto the piece of wood. His determination was strong and his mind was clear on one goal, saving James. Nothing else mattered at that moment. Not the smoke, not the impending explosion, not even the splinters he was sure he was getting from gripping the wood so tightly. His hard work paid off; the change in position worked. The metal screeched as it bent to the will of the wood, releasing it's tight hold on James's leg. "Yes! I got it! I'm free!" James yelled, pulling his leg from under the dashboard. He didn't have much time to celebrate the fact that his leg was free as Carlos pulled at his arm.

"Great! Now, come on! We've got to get you out of this car!"

* * *

Kendall tried not to notice the approaching flames as he helped Logan pass through the window. "Come on, a little more. You're almost there. Just a little bit more," he said, his voice sounding strained as he fought through the persistent pain he was feeling in his right shoulder. Logan clutched tightly around Kendall's neck, his weight pulling heavily on Kendall's shoulder. However, Kendall didn't mind it, he would do whatever he had to, endure whatever pain he had to do to ensure that Logan was safe.

Logan similarly was fighting through the pain. As he continued to pass through the window, the cut on his side was stretched, causing the pain to increase tenfold. Logan had to close his eyes and bit his lip to keep from screaming out against the pain. The pain was reaching the point of being unbearable, he almost wanted to stop and give up once more. But then he remembered Kendall's words and knew he couldn't let his friend down. He pushed the pain deeper into his subconscious, imagining a box and locking it away. It worked, leaving in its wake just an annoying throbbing sensation as he couldn't to push himself to freedom.

"Almost there," Logan replied, as he was able to get his stomach through and legs rested on top of his seat. He never thought he would be doing this or even thought it would be possible for him to fit through the window. But as his body was hanging halfway out of the window, Logan remained amazed at Kendall's resilience. Kendall said he would find a way and when Logan thought all hope was gone, Kendall did just what he said he would.

As his legs crossed through the frame, Logan's weight could no longer be supported on Kendall alone and both fell to the snow in happiness and exhaustion.

"Ha! We did it!"

"You did it, Logan. I knew you do it," Kendall said, joyously, looking to his friend in pride. They had just escaped an exploding car; that was definitely something he would tell his kids someday.

"Well I wouldn't have done it without my bodyguard," Logan replied.

"And it's a job that I take very seriously," Kendall responded jokingly. "Come on. Let's help Carlos with James before - "

Whatever Kendall was about to say was cut off by the loudest sound he or Logan had ever heard as they watched the car burst into cloud of bright orange flames. The impact of the blast knocked the standing Kendall off his feet and Logan rolled over him, covering himself and his friend from the flames and flying debris.

They stayed in the snow, the only sound coming from the flickering flames and crackles it emitted as it burned through the car.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" Kendall screamed, as he hurriedly got to his feet. "James! Carlos!"

"Oh God..." Logan whispered, fearing what the explosion met without any sight of his friend.

"James! Carlos!" Kendall screamed once again, the shock paralyzing him. He yearned to get closer to car, praying he didn't see what he feared he would see. They were right there. He had been able to see Carlos at James's side as he wedged James's leg free just as he pulled Logan free. They should have been right behind them. They should be right there with them. And yet, it was too late.

As fast as he could, he ran to the passenger side of the car. When he reached there, he was greeted with the most horrifying sight that caused his heart to drop and his body to drop to his knees.

"Oh… James…Carlos…"


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 6 - Take My Hand, Don't Let Go

Ringing. It was the most annoying sound, persistent and never-ending, and it was strong enough to wake James from the depths of unconsciousness. Keeping his head tucked in his arm and his eyes closed, he stuck his other arm out, assuming it was the alarm Logan set for him every morning before rehearsals. Usually cursing the device that took him away from his beauty sleep, he was grateful this time for the intrusion on his sleep. He was having a horrible nightmare about a car crash and the ringing brought him away from having to deal with those emotionally exhausting thoughts. It was by far the worst nightmare he had ever experienced.

However, instead of his hand touching the usual round object on his nightstand, his hand made contact with something cold and wet. He groaned inwardly at the thought of Carlos bringing another late night snack into their shared room and saved a mental reminder to talk to his friend about leaving food around. He continued moving his hand around, but after several failed attempts, chose to lift his head in search of the device producing the annoying sound. It was when he opened his eyes to the snow covered wooden scene that he realized his nightmare was reality.

Memories of the accident came flooding back, from the point of impact to the moment he was informed of the cars impending explosion. He and his friends were involved in a horrific accident during a bad snowstorm in the middle of God knows where. He had a serious leg injury, Kendall was downplaying his shoulder which looked pretty bad to him, Logan almost died and Carlos -

Carlos! James thought, as another memory came to mind where James found himself giving up and waiting for death to come. The end never came, instead Carlos did. Carlos saved his life by freeing his leg. He had been ready to quit, resigned to just knowing that his friends had survived and he had been unlucky. But then, Carlos had appeared just when all hope was gone and saved him from death, saved him from himself. He had just been able to escape the car mere seconds before the it exploded into large flames. There was no way he could ever repay him, no action great enough to express his sincere gratitude to his friend for saving him from a fiery death. But he was pretty sure a monthly supply of Fruit Smackers and all you can eat corn dogs would be a great way to start.

Slowly, careful not to aggravate his injured leg or any other injuries he might have sustained from the blast, he rose from his snow covered resting place. From his new position, he could see the damaged car. Or what he guessed used to be the car. All that remained was the metal frame. He stared at the large flames that slowly engulfed the unsuspecting vehicle, still reeling from the fact that he could have still been in that car.

"Ah man, Carlos," James said, as he turned his head to address his hero. "It looks like you got me out of there just in ti-"

The words died on his lips as his eyes made contact with Carlos, the scene before him making his heart stop. Kendall sat a few feet away, tears flowing down his face, ignored and cradling an unconscious Carlos in his arms. He just stared straight ahead, as if in a trance and rocked Carlos's body back and forth. Logan knelt beside them, tending to Carlos while also trying to calm Kendall. While it was heart breaking to see his friends like that, it was the sight of Carlos's still body that caused his heart to drop into the pit of his stomach.

Carlos laid in Kendall's arms, his skin as pale as the snow beside him. The gash on his forehead that had stopped bleeding a long time ago, reopened. It was much larger this time and bleeding profusely. Logan applied pressure to the cut, the cloth turning a deep crimson color and an alarming speed.

"Oh... No, no, no! No, Carlos," James screamed, all thoughts at moving slowly and carefully forgotten. He crawled over, dragging his injured leg through the snow, to get closer to his fallen friend. His outburst of emotion, alerted Logan of his presence, causing him to turn and look at him with sad eyes, while Kendall continued to stay in his own world.

"It's okay, James. He's still breathing," Logan said, somberly. "He just won't wake up."

"W-w-what do you mean, 'he won't wake up'? What's wrong with him? He was fine before... Why won't he wake up?" James asked, having trouble understanding how this could have happened. It made no sense to him. Carlos had been fine. He had been walking and talking and that cut on his forehead had stopped bleeding. How did everything change so quickly? "It - it doesn't make sense. Why won't he wake up?"

"The force of the explosion caused him to hit head. It reopened the laceration on his forehead and knocked him unconscious again," Logan explained, hoping to help both James and Kendall understand what was going on with Carlos. By the look of realization that came across James's face, Logan could see that he had connected two and two together. Kendall, on the other hand, remained oblivious to everything that was going on, the only thing occupying his attention was holding Carlos in his arms. He continued to cradle Carlos's body, rocking it as he stared straight at the trees ahead. It pained Logan to see Kendall so broken, so unlike his confident and sure minded self. Kendall always had the answers and plans to any obstacle that ever came their way, and yet now, he seemed so lost.

"Kendall... He's going to wake up," Logan whispered to his stone faced friend, but he doubted he heard the words he spoke or if he chose to believe him.

Kendall was in shock. With all the mayhem and dangers he and his friends had to face, the near death experiences and the close calls, Kendall was entitled to be in shock. He was being forced to endure a situation he never imagined he would have to go through. He was always used to being in control, facing problems and coming up with solutions without hesitation and yet, now he was in a situation where no last minute idea and smart thinking plan could solve. He was not in control of this and he hated it. There was nothing he could have down to prevent the car accident. There was nothing he could have done to save his friends from injury. And there was nothing he could do to wake up Carlos.

Innocent brave Carlos, who laid motionless in his arms. At the thought, he tightened his hold around his friend. Looking down, Kendall realized that this was the reason he had wanted Carlos to remain out of harm's way. This was the moment he dreaded once Carlos said he was going to help James. While he had been so proud of his courage and bravery, Kendall was content in knowing that Carlos was at least okay if he had stayed safely away from the car. Instead, he was forced to endure the torture of waiting for Carlos to wake up. He wanted so much to believe Logan's words, knowing that medical information was more of Logan's expertise. But feeling the heaviness in Carlos's body, the stillness in his frame, and the pure lack of emotion on his pale face, Kendall couldn't help but think he was holding his friend's dead body in his arms.

James stared at Kendall, and just like Logan's, his heart hurting at seeing his friend so unlike himself. He was sure Kendall looked just like he felt. But, unlike Kendall, James believed the words Logan spoke to him. He was comforted by the sight of the rhythmic rise and fall of Carlos's chest. Everything was going to be okay as long as Carlos was breathing.

"So, he's going to be okay, right?" James asked, just needing reassurance that he was correct. The look he saw pass through Logan's face crushed that previous wave of hope he had.

"James..."

James shook his head, already fearing where the conversation was headed. He hated when they said his name like that, like he was a little child, and they were trying to find a way to tell him bad news. It reminded him of the way his parents told him about their divorce. They had started their talk with him just like that and it turned out to be one of the worst days of his life. He lost his father. He didn't want to lose his best friend. "Yes, you said, he just has to wake up. So once he wakes up, he's going to be okay, right?"

He was pleading with Logan with his eyes, begging him to say the words of reassurance he needed to hear. And yet, Logan remained stoic in his expression.

"It's not that simple, James. Carlos already suffered a concussion, a major one for all we know, and now he hit his head again. There is no telling what amount of brain damage could have resulted or if he suffered from any internal bleeding in his head. There is no way of knowing the extent of his head injury until we get him to a hospital. So, I don't know, James. I don't know if Carlos is going to be okay once he wakes up. I pray to God he is, but... I just don't know," Logan replied, sounding defeated.

James could see that it pained Logan to admit those words, to let both Kendall and James know that he was in the dark about what was going to happen to Carlos. But he respected him for the words he spoke, and quietly nodded his head in acceptance of the response. His eyes turned to Kendall, who remained silent through the whole exchange, sat holding Carlos, the only change was a single tear that trailed down his cheek. James felt the annoying tickle of tears behind his eyes, as he took in the sight, but he shook his head to keep the tears from falling. He had to be strong for Carlos when he woke up.

"He's going to be okay. I know it. Carlos is strong. He's going to be just fine," James said, hoping to convince the others but himself too. Logan nodded his head, with a ghost of a smile that didn't quite reach his sad eyes.

Logan released the pressure he placed on Carlos's head and was relieved to see the bleeding had stopped. However, Carlos's pale features that scared him. His face seemed to have been drained of all color, making it strikingly similar to the white snow he laid in, evidence of serious blood loss. It was times like this that Logan cursed his genius and his medical knowledge, when he wished he could be in optimistic oblivion like Kendall and James about the severity of Carlos's injuries. And yet, it pained him to know the information he did, to fear that Carlos's injuries had worsened from minor to critical. But, there was little left for him to do for Carlos instead of waiting, so he turned his concerns to James. While he was glad to see James look more like himself than when he was in the car, he was still worried about the way that he favored his injured leg.

"It's pretty much a waiting game now, guys," Logan said. "So, I should check you guys out and take a look at your injuries."

Both of his friends remained unresponsive, their attention remaining on Carlos, and Logan did not take their lack of attention personally. "I'm going to go get the first aid kit I threw out the car and I'm going to take a look at your leg, James."

James made an incomprehensible sound of acknowledgment vaguely aware of Logan's departure, the sound of snow crunching under his feet the only proof. His eyes remained fixed on Carlos, and in his absence, crawled closer to him to assume the place that Logan once occupied. He placed his hand in Carlos's still ones, hoping it was just his imagination at how cold Carlos's felt against his. With his closer position, Carlos looked even more small and fragile than he did before. To anyone else, it would look like Carlos was merely sleeping, but even in his sleep, Carlos scarcely remained so still. Moving from side to side every few minutes, thrashing around and throwing his body all over the place, Carlos slept in the most erratic positions. Seeing him so motionless pained James, who was so used to seeing his friend so full of life.

"You're going to be okay, Carlitos. You just have to open your eyes and just let us know that everything is alright up there. We just need to know that you're alright, Carlos. Come on, buddy. Wake up for us," James urged, as he gently stroked Carlos's forehead. He patiently waited for any sign of movement, any improvement in his condition. But, Carlos remained the same, his body unchanged.

"You saved my life, you know that? If you hadn't come back for me, if you had listened to me when I pushed you away, I wouldn't be here right now," James continued, not caring if his words were heard or not. It was something he needed to tell Carlos, information that he needed to know. "I was ready to give up, resigned to just welcome death and happy just knowing that you guys were safe. The smoke was so overwhelming and thick, making it so hard to breathe, to even see. And the heat of the flames were slowly trying to overtake me. It was horrible, I thought I was a goner. But then you came back for me. You wouldn't leave my side. You were so brave and your determined to get my leg free and you did. You got me out of that car and you saved my life. You were there when all my hope was gone, and you showed me that everything was going to be okay. I need you to do that again, Carlos. I need you to show me that everything is going to be alright by waking up for me. Please, just let me know that you're okay."

The tears he had tried to keep at bay for so long, slowly cascaded down his cheeks and he made no attempt at hiding them. He had left his heart out there, revealing his true feelings when Carlos rescued him, hoping it would be enough to pull Carlos awake, and his heart broke at the fact that he remained unchanged. Kneeling his head low so that it rested near Carlos's ear, he whispered, "Please, Carlos. Come back to us. Come back to me."

He felt a light pressure in his hand, the hand that held Carlos's hand. It was so soft, the movement so small it would have been missed if observed by the untrained eye. He sat up with a start, at the touch, startling Kendall with his abrupt change in position.

"James, what's wrong?"

"C-C-Carlos, he- he squeezed my hand!" James shouted to Kendall, before turning his attention back to his unconscious friend. "Carlos, buddy. Come on. Wake up."

Kendall joined in as well, gently tapping Carlos's face to wake him up. They were so focused on what they were doing, they didn't hear Logan return, the first aid kit in one hand and four blankets in the other.

"So I brought some of the blankets from the luggage we salvaged. The last thing we need is to get hypother-"

"Carlos is waking up!" Kendall yelled, cutting off whatever Logan was about to say and within seconds, Logan was beside Carlos, blankets and kits forgotten on snow covered ground. He stared wide-eyed at the scene, watching as Carlos struggled to open his eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, Carlos stared straight ahead, taking in the environment, before they settled on three fearful faces. Before they even had a chance to question how Carlos was feeling, Carlos face lit up with a smile, his voice full of energy.

"That was awesome!" Carlos shouted.

"What?"

"Did you see it? The way we jumped out the car, and flew out the car at the same time the car exploded! That was great! Just like in the movies!" Carlos exclaimed. "We have to find a way to do that again!"

"Seriously, Carlos?! You gave us a heart attack! God, we thought you were - we thought we lost you," Logan said, releasing a deep sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean to scare you. But, I'm fine. You see," Carlos replied, as he attempted to raise his body up from Kendall's grasp. He stopped however, before he was even able to sit up, as his vision doubled and an intense wave of nausea threatened to overcome him. The change in his behavior did not go unnoticed by his friends as the previous light hearted atmosphere evaporated.

"Carlos!"

"Whoa," Carlos whispered, "I guess I have to move a little slower." He closed his eyes, hoping to stop the spinning.

"Now, tell us how you're really feeling?" James asked, not believing it was caused by moving too fast.

"James, honestly, I'm fi-"

"Carlos, please. This is serious. You hit you're head again. We have to know how bad it is," Logan cut in, fearful of the answers he was about to hear.

Seeing his friends staring back at him with those same fearful eyes, he didn't have the heart to downplay the pain in his head anymore. "I have a really bad headache. It hurts so bad that it's painful for me to even move my head without seeing double or having the place spinning."

"Do you feel nauseous?"

Carlos chose to remain silent than answer the question, which provided Logan with the answer that he feared. Going down the list of symptoms of a severe concussion, he tried to assess the severity of Carlos's head injury. He grabbed the discarded first aid kit, and pulled out the pen light. Pointing it in Carlos's eyes, he was glad to see the pupil's looked even and equal and Carlos didn't show any sensitivity to the bright light pointed in his eye. "You remember what happened, right? You remember how you hit your head?"

The question confused Carlos. Of course, he remembered what happened. There was - He had hit his head on... The memory was fuzzy, hard to retrieve. He could almost see it, but he couldn't quite reach it. He looked to Logan in confusion.

"It's okay, Carlos. Don't worry about it. Just promise you will tell me if that pain in your head gets worse, if you start vomiting, or if it becomes difficult for you to see straight," Logan said, as he reached into the kit and grabbed some gauze and tape to wrap the cut his forehead.

"Honestly, Logan, it's not that serious. I feel fine. Just a little fuzziness. There's nothing -"

"Yes, there is, Carlos. Please, we don't want to lose you," Kendall answered, addressing Carlos directly for the first time since he woke up. "So, let us worry about you, okay? We don't mind worrying if its going to make sure you're okay."

Maybe it was the way Kendall had said the words or the sadness he saw in his eyes, but Carlos knew better than to go against Kendall.

"Ok, I promise."

"Great," Logan replied, as he finished dressing the cut. He turned his attention to James. "Alright, James. It's your turn." The look of fear on James's face was comical.

"You sure, it's my turn? I think Kendall might have been next. Yea, you know what? When you were gone, I think Kendall was like, 'Oh, I can't wait for Logan to look at my shoulder.' He was very excited about it. I wouldn't want to disappoint him," James said, hurriedly trying to delay the pain he knew would come with Logan tending to his leg.

"Nice try, James. But, your leg is more important than a little cut on my shoulder," Kendall replied, as he helped Carlos to a seated position.

"I'll be the judge of that," Logan said, making sure Kendall knew he wasn't going to escape his examination. "But, come on, James, I'll be really gentle, or as gentle as I can be with your leg. I have to clean it and dress it."

Begrudgingly, James ended his protest and dragged his body to the nearby tree that Carlos rested against.

"It's going to be okay, James," Carlos whispered as James got closer. James tried not to notice how eerily similar Carlos words were to his earlier speech. He had to admit that it was comforting to have Carlos by his side; he fed off the confidence, as he prepared for the process.

"Alright, I'm ready," James choked out, even though his voice betrayed the bravado he had hoped to show. "I can do this. I can do this." He repeated those words in his head, allowing them to strengthen his resolve against the impending pain. In a way, a new sense of determination fueled him with a fire that he was confident the pain couldn't even extinguish. Eyes closed, he felt the confidence increase in him, almost electrifying and he was certain that he would succeed. Nothing could stop him. Not pain. Not fear. Not even -

He stopped mid-sentence once he heard the snap of the latex glove around Logan's hand.

"You know what? I changed my mind. My leg is looking better already. You don't have to look at it. It's fine. So maybe you -"

"James, you can do this," Carlos repeated. "You want to hold my hand through it all?"

The smile appeared on his lips before he knew it. He stared at Carlos's outstretched hand, accepting it and hoping to receive some courage from it. "That would be great." Without realizing, Kendall appeared on the other side of him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezing it softly. The message his friends were telling him was clear, he was not alone and he wasn't going to have endure the pain alone. It was what he needed to lose the anxiety and brave the task at hand straight on. "Alright, I'm ready now. For real this time."

"I will try my hardest to be as gentle as I can be, buddy," Logan replied, as he finished getting all his needed supplies readily available for his dressing change. He doubted James had heard a word he said, his eyes tightly squeezed as he waited for Logan to begin. Taking that as his invitation to start, Logan grabbed a hold of the remaining jean fabric hiding the leg wound and began to cut through the material to get a better look at the cut.

"Ahh, man! These were my favorite pair of jeans," James whined.

"I promise, man, I'll buy you a new one," Logan said back, as he finished cutting away the heavy material, finally able to get a good look at the bleeding wound. He didn't have a chance to hear James's response to his comment, his attention solely taken hold by what he saw under the exposed skin.

James had a long vertical gash starting from right below his knee to the middle of shin. It still continued to ooze blood, but it didn't pulsate, which would have indicated that an artery was injured or severed. It provided little comfort; he would have much rather it had stopped bleeding all together. While the cut did not seem deep, the appearance of red tissue around the wound edges alarmed Logan. He had known that the wound was serious, as evidenced by the uncontrollable bleeding, but he had not been prepared for the sight. He didn't have a chance to keep the look of shock from his face, and one glance at Kendall, he realized the he too knew that this was not just any cut.

To make matters worse, lower down on James's leg was bright red and inflamed, his ankle nearly double in size and foot black and blue from bruising. The injury was probably caused by the immense pressure the crushed dashboard applied on his leg. It was a miracle that James was able to move the leg at all, with all the damage that it had endured.

"How bad is it?" James asked, keeping his eyes closed and not daring to look at his maimed leg.

"Uhh, don't worry, James. I got this under control."

"You're a horrible liar, Logan."

Choosing to ignore that comment and using James's words to fuel him, Logan erased the sense of doubt that was threatening to slowly overcome him. He had to make sure he treated the wound properly. The last thing he needed was to mess up and cause the cut to become infected. He examined the wound thoroughly, ensuring that there was no glass embedded in the skin. He saw a few reachable pieces near the surface of the cut, and was able to pull them out with the sterile tweezers, without causing James much pain; he merely hissed in discomfort. The action however caused the bleeding to increase slightly, making it necessary for Logan to stop the bleeding before he could continue to clean it. Something he knew would cause James a great deal of pain.

"Ok, James, buddy. I'm going to have to apply some pressure on your leg to stop the bleeding," Logan said, regretfully, hating himself for the words he said and the action he was about to do. James nodded his head in affirmation, his eyes betraying the confidence he hoped to exude.

There was no amount of preparation Logan could do that would have been enough to lessen the wave of agony that would affect James. Therefore, without hesitation, he grabbed the gauze and placed direct pressure on the cut, pressing heavily onto the bleeding area. He wished he had the ability to close his ears as the action caused James to produce the most gut wrenching cry of pain.

James understood that the pain was necessary; Logan needed to press on his leg to stop the bleeding. All that made sense. What he couldn't comprehend was how pain could hurt so much. He had tried to be silent, he didn't want to be a baby and cry out in pain, However, he hadn't expected it to feel like this. The action resulted in such an immense sense of pain that it felt like his leg had exploded in fiery heat, like it had been ripped from his body. He wished it had been if it would keep him from enduring this horrible amount of pain. A prolonged hiss escaped his mouth and his breath came in short, harsh puffs of air. He waited for the pain to escalate to the point where it was simply numb. He groaned in agony as the time passed and the pain still remained; he could feel the darkness of unconsciousness once again taking hold of him.

"Ok, buddy. All over. The bleeding stopped. You did great," Logan reassured, as he lifted the blood soaked gauze and quickly discarded it, unable to take the sight of James's blood. A thin film of sweat had formed on James's forehead, and his face had paled considerably since the beginning of the task, but he remained strong and even graced Logan with a smile.

"I'll take my prize now," James joked, weakly.

"Almost done," Logan said. "Alright, I just have to soak the cut with some sterile water for a while and then cover it with -"

"Loges, a little less talking and a little more doing."

Logan took that as his cue, and he grabbed the bottle of the water and poured a generous amount of the fluid onto the cut as he gently dabbed the area with a new piece of gauze. He was thankful that this part of the procedure didn't cause James to be in any pain. He continued for a few more minutes until he was able to see the wound clearly. He then completed the task by dressing the wound with sterile gauze. He had to apply a generous amount of pressure, but not enough to produce any loud cries from James. He was able to endure the dressing with only low moans. Finally, we wrapped the swollen ankle with an ace wrap, hoping to minimize the swelling with the tight wrap. After that, Logan stared at his handiwork proudly.

"All done."

"Oh, thank God!" James exclaimed, releasing a deep breath.

"Yes! Great job, James!" Carlos exclaimed, giving James's shoulders a comforting squeeze. A glance at an expecting Logan, he continued, "And you too, Logan!"

"You did awesome, guys."

"I'm glad you approved, Kendall, because it's your turn," Logan said, discarding the soiled gloves and putting on a new clean pair to deal with Kendall.

"Yea, yea, yea. Let's get this over with so I can show you that my shoulder isn't as serious as you think it is," Kendall said, grumpily as he left James's side to get closer to Logan. By the look on Logan's face, he could tell that he didn't believe him.

"So, let's see it. You can feel me touch here, right? And is there any numbness or tingling?" Logan asked, as he began his examination. After receiving all the necessary answers, he continued. "Can you wiggle your fingers for me?"

Kendall had begrudgingly performed everything that Logan had asked of him, and answered every question honestly. However, this was the one task that Kendall doubted he'd be able to perform. He looked at Logan and then at his injured arm, willing the fingers to move as commanded. With a little more effort than normal, Kendall was able to wiggle his fingers. It was task that he was elated to see that he could perform, but the elation turned to concern when he noticed the frown on Logan's face.

"That was a little more difficult than usual huh?" Logan remarked. Kendall remained silent, unwilling to give Logan the pleasure of being right. Whether he was insulted by the lack of response, he didn't show, choosing to continue his examination rather than causing a fight. "Alright, let me actually take a look at this shoulder."

Kendall reluctantly pulled down the sleeve of his coat, the action causing his aching and sore muscles to pull. He had so far been able to endure the examination without any pain, but pulling his arm out from the protective position it was in, the pain that had been dull before returned with a vengeance. He was glad he was able to mask the immense pain he felt, only allowing a low groan escape his lips. The action allowed the cool air to assault his uncovered back. Kendall inadvertently shivered from the cool breeze, alerting Logan to his exposed state. Quickly, Logan grabbed one of the discarded blankets and wrapped around it around Kendall's shoulders. Protected a little bit more from the elements, Kendall continued until his shoulder was revealed to Logan.

"Crap, Kendall," Logan whispered under his breath, taken aback by the sight before him. Kendall's shoulder was bleeding, not as bad as James's leg was, but enough to coat his whole right arm red. However, it wasn't the blood that alarmed him, as he could see it came from cuts caused by glass. It was the weird angle that his shoulder was in, the awkward position the bone jutted out through the skin at the joint in the most unnatural ways. He noted there was no swelling around the shoulder, which was a good sign, evidence that at least the shoulder wasn't broken.

"It's not that bad, Logan," Kendall remarked, still positive that he could have been fine without all this fussing.

"Yea, that's why I'm the doctor and you're not."

"Ha, you're not a doctor, yet."

"A mere technicality. Now, shush, so I can patch you up," Logan replied, as he continued examining Kendall's arm. He placed his hands along the side of Kendall's upper arm, settling it at the top aspect of his shoulder and not surprised to feel a space under the skin where the two bones usually met. "Alright, I got good news and I got bad news, buddy."

"Give me the bad news first."

"Well, your humorous is broken, right near the upper aspect of the triceps. I'm pretty sure it's a closed fracture; there's no break in the skin from the bone to make me believe that its an open fracture. But there is still the possibility of broken bone fragments exposed. We won't be able to detail the extent of the damage without an x-ray."

"Well, if that's the bad news, I can't wait to hear the good news."

"Your shoulder is just merely displaced from it's socket," Logan answered with a smile, as if he said the best news in the world. "It looks like it's separated from your collarbone."

"And that's good news because..."

"Because its much better than a dislocation, which could have caused permanent nerve damage and the loss of adequate function in your arm. Now, I'm going to have to stabilize the bone with a splint, wrap it tight to contain the swelling, and maybe make a sling to keep you from putting any strain on the arm."

"Ahh, Logan, all of that? It's really not that ser-"

"Kendall, did you hear anything I said? If that shoulder gets any worse, you risk losing total mobility in you arm. So, let me help you, alright. I'm not going to let you lose your arm. Not because of me, not because of what I -"

He stopped himself from saying the words that still occupied his thoughts, from admitting the guilt that still threatened to consume him. He looked toward Kendall, hoping that he understood that he had to make everything right from all the wrong that he caused.

"Ok, ok. Just please, stop blaming yourself. I don't know how many times I have to tell you - this was not your fault," Kendall said, giving in. He hated the look he saw in Logan's eyes. He could see he was still beating himself up for the accident.

Logan merely nodded his head, just to prove to Kendall that he heard the words he said, not that he agreed with what he said. He pushed his feelings of guilt aside as he began to clean the cuts that covered Kendall's arms. He then went to stabilizing the bone, placing two long sticks around his upper arm, tying them tightly together with a string and then wrapping them securely together with a large ace wrap. Dealing with the separated shoulder proved difficult however; he didn't know what the correct course of action would be with treating the displaced collarbone.

"This is going to hurt," Logan said, as he realized he would have to wrap the upper aspect of the shoulder, to stabilize the collarbone as well.

"Can't you just pop it back in place?" Kendall asked.

"It's not that simple, buddy. I might cause more damage than good. We have to wait for the x-ray before anyone tries to manipulate that bone," Logan reassured. "Now, just breathe through the pain."

Kendall closed his eyes awaiting for the unpleasant sensation he was sure he would feel once Logan began to wrap the shoulder. He didn't have to wait long; as the fabric was wrapped around tightly against the sensitive and fragile area, an explosion of pain erupted down his entire arm. "Ahhh!" He cried, unable to keep his expression of pain at bay.

"Almost there, buddy. Almost done," Logan whispered, comfortingly, as he quickened his speed in finishing his treatment of Kendall's shoulder. Finally, after what seemed like forever to have hear his best friend scream in pain, he applied the last bit of tape to secure his firm dressing. He ripped a long piece of fabric from one of the discarded blankets and forming a right angle with Kendall's arm, used the fabric to make sling, tying it tightly around his neck. "You're good to go, Kendall."

"Where's my lollipop?" Kendall smirked, still reeling from his emotional display.

Logan only scoffed as he gathered a huge pile of a snow and gathered it into an available zip lock bag. "Well, this might not be a lollipop, but it will definitely help you feel better." He placed the bag of ice onto Kendall's shoulder, and laughed as Kendall's face went from pure shock to relief as the ice did its magic and eased the ache of the pain.

"Ooohh, you're right, that feels awesome," Kendall murmured, his eyes closing in instant gratification.

"Yea, so I'm going to leave you two alone for while," Logan joked.

"Yea, you do that," Kendall replied, oblivious to Logan's implication.

Moving closer to where James and Carlos continued their conversation about what they would do once they got back to the Palm Woods - Carlos still adamant on asking the curly haired Jennifer on a date, Logan gathered another pile of snow into a zip lock bag.

"How's your leg feeling now, James?"

"It's feeling much better. And look, I can even wiggle my toes," James said proudly, his toes moving just as he announced.

"That's great! Alright, so I'm going to give you one of these also to help bring down the swelling in your ankle."

"Ahhh, Logan, that's - that's... Oooo, that feels nice," James replied, as the initial shock of the ice on his ankle vanished to a comforting sensation.

"Isn't it?!" Kendall said, as he moved closer to his friends.

"Guys, it's just ice," Logan replied, having trouble understanding what the big deal was.

"Heck, if this is wrong, I don't want to be right,"

"Oh no!" Kendall exclaimed as he watched his ice pack slide off his shoulder. He quickly grabbed it off the floor, and placed it back where it belonged, his eyes closing in happiness at the cool sensation. "Reunited and it feels sooo good!"

Logan could only shake his head in amazement as he muttered, "I need new friends."

"No, you don't, Logie! You love us!" Carlos retorted, giving him one of those puppy dog faces that could rival Katie's.

"Yea, yea, yea. Well, I'm going to go gather all the things we managed to salvage from the car, see what things are important while we figure out what to do next," Logan responded, as he put all the unused items back into the first aid kit.

"He's right. We need to figure what to do now that staying in the car is clearly not an option," Kendall replied, Logan's words bringing him out of his reverie to the more pressing matter of how to survive in the middle of nowhere during a snowstorm with no shelter and minimal resources. He groaned as he wished he could go back to when the ice was the highlight of his night, the idea of figuring out a plan to save his friends from further danger was daunting. But looking at his four best friends hopeful eyes, he was ready to take on the task. "Don't worry, I'll think of a plan."

"I knew you would. So, while your brain is working, I'll just go and -"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as a harsh body racking cough assaulted him. It caught him off guard and came without warning. He didn't even feel the normal tickle in the back of his throat. The only thing he knew was the harsh cough that total incapacitated him

"Whoa, you alright, Loges?" James asked, his concern shifting from their survival to his coughing friend.

"That cough doesn't sound good at all. I hope you're not catching a cold or something from the snow," Kendall agreed.

"I'm okay," Logan managed to choke out between coughs. While they decreased in intensity, they continued, one after the other, which didn't do much to ease his aching ribs. "Just a little cough. It's nothing."

"You sure? Heck, you did such a good job on us, maybe one of us should check you out, too."

"Yea, Come on, Logan. Dr. Carlos's office is open."

"Guys, I'm fine! You see, it's getting better already," Logan said, trying hard to suppress the cough that threatened to escape. He could tell his friends were suspicious about his refusal for aid, but he didn't have time to convince them further, the cough he was keeping at bay was reaching a fever pitch. "Look, we don't have much time to waste. It's going to dark soon. So, Carlos rest, James stay off that leg, and Kendall use your brain to come up with plan. I'm going to get things ready."

He heard the words of protest as he turned but he continued to move on the other side of the car, successfully hiding himself from his friends. When he was sure he could not be seen, especially from Kendall, whom he was sure was straining to see Logan, he released the cough he had been able to contain, using his hand to suppress the harsh sounds. It started from deep in throat, causing his chest to rise and fall harshly from the force. The pain in the right of the chest became unbearable at that point, the burning crashing through him like waves. But he didn't have the chance to concentrate on the pain, the cough was the only thing consuming his thoughts, as he desperately tried to stop their attack on his body. Before he knew it, he coughed so harshly, he doubled over from the force.

Thankfully, the sensation decreased. While the pain in his chest remained, his sore ribs obviously aggravated, the coughing fit stopped. His breathing slowed and his muscles relaxed. Logan was grateful for the break. He was so relieved, he didn't notice the metallic taste that overcame his taste buds. It wasn't until he saw his blood coated hand, the same hand he used to stifle the sounds of his cough, did he realize that he had coughed up the bright red fluid. He stared at his hand blankly, only muttering a few words to himself.

"Shit. This is bad."

Author's Note: I hope everyone had a Happy Valentine's Day and are still in the loving spirit! Reviews = love!


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Hello, my dear readers. My sincerest apologies. I had hoped to get this up last week, but my boss and school are working overtime to keep me busy. Please accept this long chapter, filled with "bromantic" moments with a touch of angst, as my peace offering.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 7 - When Fading Slowly, Friends Give You Strength

The snowfall picked up once again, the number of snowflakes falling doubling in quantity and speed. Logan noticed this as he watched the white particles touch his hand. However, he was unable to process what all that meant. The only thing occupying his mind was the blood coating his hand; he was amazed at the fact the snow didn't wash it away. As if to make sure he was correct, to ensure that he truly was coughing blood, he touched the side of his mouth. He wasn't surprised to feel a small trail of the blood at the corner of his lips. He quickly wiped the blood away as he allowed it's meaning to finally sink in.

Coughing blood after blunt trauma to his chest only meant one thing - he had been poorly mistaken. His ribs were not bruised; they were broken. Remembering the pain he felt at the right side of his chest when he coughed, he rose his right arm. He could feel the fragile muscles pull at the action and he could only raise it so far before the level of pain became too much. Nevertheless, when he was satisfied by the height of his arm, he used his left hand to gently assess the damage done to his ribs. Counting the times he felt sunken skin instead of the firmness of bone in his ribcage, Logan concluded he had fractured at least four ribs on his right side. However, broken ribs were not normally that serious; the pain being the worse thing he would have to deal and even that was tolerable unless he coughed. It was the troubling fact of what broken ribs and coughing blood meant when combined that caused him to worry.

One of his broken ribs had punctured his lung, most likely causing his right lung to collapse. He cursed himself for not realizing the signs and symptoms of the serious condition, however, if he were honest, he would admit the fact that he didn't feel any different. Yea, the coughing of blood was not normal, but other than that, he didn't have the normal chest pain, trouble breathing, or increased heart rate usually associated with a punctured lung. Not that he was asking to feel those symptoms. On closer inspection, though, he did notice some pain on the right of his chest when he took a deep breath and he did realize his breathing was shallow on that side.

There isn't much for me to do, Logan thought, understanding that what he needed more than anything was a doctor. Just great.

He had thought the worse thing he had to worry about was the piece of glass in his side, expecting to be on the look out for signs of the worsening bleeding or feeling weak due to prolonged blood loss. But, this was different, this was serious. The risk of going into respiratory distress from the injured lung was not just possible, it was probable. He would have to steady his breathing, keep it as even and unlabored as possible as not to overexert the damaged lung. He would have to be careful every time he coughed or expelled a deep breath, both of which could cause him to have difficulty breathing. It seemed to be a daunting task just thinking about all he had to do to make sure he didn't get worse.

Logan contemplated telling his friends how serious his condition had become, hoping they would provide him with extra sets of eyes when it came to watching his fractured ribs and fragile lungs. He doubted he'd be able to keep this injury a secret much longer anyway. He knew he would need their help. Their favorite saying came to mind at the admission, 'One is good, but four is better'. It would be better to have his three best friends look out for him, forcing him to acknowledge when he was pushing himself too far. The only question that remained was how he was going to tell them the truth. He knew they were going to be angry at him for keeping such a serious secret, but he would deal with their disappointment. He just needed his friends.

_But, first, I have to deal with this cut on my side,_ Logan thought, looking down at his saturated shirt, knowing that blood caused it to stick to his skin.

Retreating to a more secluded area in the trees, away from the smoking car with the first aid kit, Logan began the task of tackling his own injury. He lifted up his shirt, exposing his torn skin to the cold air, the breeze harsh to the sensitive area. Realizing that he would have to clean the cut fast before his absence worried the others, Logan quickly grabbed the bottle of sterile water and poured the contents on the wound. He was grateful it wasn't painful, just an uncomfortable sensation as the liquid touched the sore skin. The disturbing fact was watching the pink tinged fluid fall from his side and stain the snow red, knowing that it was his blood that he saw on the ground. He looked down at his side, the foreign glass looking out place between his skin. It amazed him how the glass kept the wound from bleeding. While blood still trickled around the edge of the jagged object, it did not pool like it should, the glass effectively playing the role as stopper to prevent him from bleeding out. Logan was grateful for that. He had enough on his plate than to worry about blood loss.

After letting the water clean out the wound a little longer, he grabbed the gauze and pressed it to his side. That was when the pain exploded through his side. He had only meant to place the piece of fabric to start dressing the cut; he had not been prepared for the unbelievable wave of agony that came with it. He was able to stifle his cry, stuffing the excess fabric into his mouth. However, he was unable to stop the dizziness and the weakness he felt overcome him. His knees weakened and he threatened to sink to the ground. It took the last bit of strength he had not to pulled be pulled into the darkness. He had to be stay strong, he had to fight through the pain. His friends needed him.

It was that thought that kept Logan from dropping to the snow like a sack of potatoes. His breaths coming in quick pants of air, beads of sweat forming even in the cold temperatures, he continued to tend his wound. Gauze after gauze, he applied them to the wound until the slow trickle of blood had stopped and he realized that there wasn't much more he could do. He used the last remaining drops of sterile water to wet a piece of clothe. He pressed it firmly to his side and then grabbed another dry one to place on top of the wet one. Logan quickly freed his hand from the tree holding himself up to grab the large medical tape and tore a long piece with his teeth. Keeping the gauze as close to his side as possible, he pressed the tape to his skin, careful not to move the piece of glass out of space. He continued the process until his whole left side was a mass of tape, so thick that it impeded any movement in that direction, but not too much so that it would be detectable underneath his shirt and alarm his friends. He still hadn't decided on whether to tell his friends about the cut on his side as well.

Logan breathed a deep sigh, relieved that he had been able to at least complete that task. While it took a lot out of him, he was glad to have done it.

"One less thing to worry about," Logan muttered under his breath as he put all the supplies back into his first aid kit.

"What's one less thing to worry about?"

Logan was startled to see Kendall standing a few feet behind him and he felt his heart stop in fear.

* * *

Kendall had been patiently waiting with Carlos and James, absentmindedly paying attention to the conversation his two friends were having while trying to come up with a plan to get them home safely. He would respond to their comments here and there, his heart pulling when he heard the mention of Jo, but he kept his mind concentrated solely on figuring out a plan. It scared him how a plan wasn't readily available; he had always been able to think of things on the top of his head. A problem arose and Kendall came up with the solution in a matter of minutes. However, this was not one of those times. This time, his mind saw the problem, understood that a solution needed to be thought up, but his mind remained blank on what that solution might be. There was no doubt the shock of the whole experience was still affecting him, clouding his mind and preventing him from thinking clearly.

He still couldn't erase the images of the car crash from his mind, it seemed to replay every time he closed his eyes. Without trying, he would see his three friends' still and lifeless bodies and the feeling of grief and sadness would threaten to slowly overcome him. It would paralyze him, making it virtually impossible to think of a way out of this horrible situation. And the pressure - the pressure of knowing that his friends' survival depended on him and his plan - was suffocating. Knowing that if he said the wrong thing and took them the wrong way, he could cause his friends more harm than good. He didn't think he could swallow all of that responsibility on his own. He needed the "Big Time Brain" to help him.

It was then that Kendall realized Logan's prolonged absence from the rest of the group. He doubted that it took that long to gather the few items they were able to salvage from the car. He leaned over in his spot, hoping to see Logan on the other side of the burning metal impeding his line of vision, but he couldn't make out any movement on the other side. A feeling of dread slowly washed over him at not seeing Logan for such a long period of time, fearing that something serious might have happened. He remembered the terrible cough and quickly rose to his feet. Kendall stopped midway when the movement pulled at the sore muscles in his injured shoulder, but he continued soon after, pushing on until he stood straight.

He had muttered a quick "I'll be back" to Carlos and James to answer their puzzling looks and followed the path he saw Logan take minutes ago. He had reached the pile of their forgotten stuff, but there was no Logan in sight. He looked from side to side hoping it was just his imagination, that he was just overreacting. But when minutes passed and there was still no sign of Logan, the feeling of dread quickly turned to fear. Countless horrific thoughts came to mind of an unconscious Logan lying forgotten in the snow. He had to find Logan. He had prepared to call out for him in panic when he noticed a figure in the bushes yards away. Kendall prayed it was Logan, even though he was puzzled at the reason why Logan would be so far away from their stuff. He quickened his pace toward the trees and his heart rose in elation at the sight of his friend's raven hair. He opened his mouth to express his relief, but quickly shut it when he noticed the open first aid kit beside Logan.

Why did Logan need the first aid kit? He was fine. He only had bruised ribs and they didn't require much tending. So there was no reason for Logan to need first aid - unless he was hiding something, which knowing Logan could very much be true.

"Logan…"

"Kendall! How - how long have you been standing there?" Logan asked, his hand instinctively grabbing his bandaged side, fearful Kendall had witnessed him treating his cut.

"You were taking forever so I thought maybe you needed help getting our stuff together. But, you didn't answer my question; what's one less thing to worry about? And what are you doing over here? All our stuff are over there by the car," Kendall questioned, easily detecting Logan's defensive behavior and already on alert for something suspicious.

"Kendall, uhhh, you should be resting," Logan said, his voice shaky and his head looking from side to side, both clear signs that he was hiding something.

"It's my shoulder, Logan. It's not like I need to be sitting to rest my shoulder," Kendall replied, eyeing his friend suspiciously. "Now, answer my question, Logan."

"I had to pee, alright!" Logan answered, thankful he had thought of the lie so quickly off the top of his head.

"Oh," Kendall said, sheepily. "Well, why didn't you just say that?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know I had to tell you every intimate detail of what I do, Kendall," Logan answered, sarcastically.

"Logan, that's not what I meant. I was just worried when I saw you away from our stuff and hidden all by yourself with the first aid kit. Wait, why do you have kit with you?"

"Really, Kendall? It was an emergency! I couldn't hold it and I forgot the kit was in my hand. Any other questions?" Logan lied again with ease.

"Yea," Kendall replied. "You need any help?"

"I thought, you'd never ask. Yea, you're help would be great but no lifting with that shoulder buddy," Logan said, all anger at Kendall's session of twenty one questions gone. With that, they returned to area near the car, whose fire was slowly descending, and made their way to their belongings. "You and Carlos did I great job. You guys got a lot of important stuff out of the car. A lot of stuff we'll probably need to get home safely."

"I think the only thing Carlos is happy about getting out of that car was the cooler. He's been eyeing them every now and then," Kendall replied, settling down near the pile.

"Oh no, we better head back quick before it's all gone," Logan joked, even though in he knew it was very realistic possibility when dealing with Carlos and corndogs. Seeing Kendall's struggle with one of the larger suitcases, Logan reached out and helped him with the zipper. He tried not to notice the hint of annoyance Kendall displayed from the help.

"So, what are we going to need?"

"We're going to need to keep some blankets, maybe some of those ski clothes that we took with us, and any other clothes we can layer. Here, use this duffle bag. We'll put all the essential in this one bag that we can carry. We'll just keep all the other stuff neatly hidden until the help arrives to get us," Logan replied, his mind working to quickly figure out what to do next. He was glad Kendall was here to help him, seeing Kendall reminded him of all the important reasons for him to stay focused on getting his friends home safely.

Kendall quickly nodded his head in acknowledgement and quickly began looking through the clothes, choosing which to keep behind and which to take with them. Together they worked in silence each lost in their own thoughts. For Logan, it was dealing with the daunting task of telling Kendall just about the serious nature of his rib injury. It pained him to keep the wound on his side a secret and lie about what he was doing with the first aid kit, but he knew the level of worry would be worse once they found out the whole truth. In Kendall's head, the pressure of finding a way home continued to plague his thoughts, worrisome thoughts about his friends well being that threatened to consume him. Thus, they continued without saying a word to the other, each finding solace in the silence.

"Yes!" Logan yelled, startling Kendall out of his thoughts.

"What?!"

"I found my survival kit. I had packed it on a whim, just in case Carlos got lost on a ski trail or something like last time, and I totally forgot I packed. But, I found it! Oh, this is great," Logan said, happily, like a child on Christmas morning.

Kendall could only stare at him in amazement at the look of joy on Logan's face for a little box. "Really?"

"Yes, really. There's a compass, flashlight, flare gun, even a how to survive in the wilderness guide. These are all the stuff we'll need to get through this," Logan explained, glad when he saw his look of happiness mirrored on Kendall's face.

"This is great!" Kendall exclaimed, as he realized he had heard the first bit of good luck he had heard all day. "Wow, Logan, you never cease to amaze me. You really thought about everything."

"Not everything. Believe me, I would have never thought this would happen," Logan replied somberly, the mood changing instantly with that statement.

"I know, buddy. But we're okay. We made it. We survived everything that this crazy storm threw at us. Might not have been unscathed," Kendall said, as he looked toward the deserted car, knowing that James and Carlos were on the other side safe and sound. "But we survived."

Just the thought brought back a wave of emotions that Kendall had not realized he had left bottled in. The clothes in his hand forgotten, he became lost in the sea of his own thoughts, not realizing they were said aloud, until they left his mouth.

"I still can't believe it, you know? I mean, there was so many times we could have all died - from the crash, from the explosion, and yet, here we all are. I mean, yes, we still have to worry about Carlos's concussion, and we have to make sure that James's leg doesn't get infected, and even I have to look out for my stupid shoulder, but we're all alive and at least you are okay. Just bruised ribs, which I can tell hurts like hell, but you're okay. I have to admit I'm glad at that fact, I don't know what I would do if you were injured too."

Logan just sat listening to Kendall's words, shocked by his display of raw emotion. At his admission that he was glad that Logan had escaped serous injury, Logan felt a pang of guilty at the secret he had been keeping from his friends. He could tell that Kendall found comfort in that fact that Logan was not in harm's way and he began to doubt whether or not he should go ahead with his previous plan of alerting his friends of his rib injury. He didn't even know how to respond, he doubted he could come up with the words that would be able to deal with Kendall's pain. Fortunately, Kendall was not finished revealing his thoughts.

"I keep trying to think of a way to get us home, trying so hard to figure out a plan, but my mind keeps drawing up a blank. There is so much at stake, I have to make sure I make the right decision. The wrong choice and I could put you guys in danger. That's too much pressure, and uhhh - I don't think I can do it on my own."

"You don't have to do it on your own, Kendall. I'm here to help and so are James and Carlos. We'll figure out something, but you don't have to do this alone. Remember, 'One is good, but four is better," Logan replied with a smile, happy when he saw that smile spread to Kendall's face.

"Well, we should hurry through these stuff and see what's important for us to use so we could head back to the guys," Kendall said, glad that he was able to get those words off his chest. "James is waiting impatiently for another one of those make shift ice packs you made."

"He does know it's just snow, right?"

"He knows, but he swears it's only right if you make it," Kendall answered.

"James," both Kendall and Logan said at the same time under their breath, knowing that there was no way of understanding the inner workings of James Diamond's mind. They chuckled at the coincidence.

The quick expulsion of air irritated Logan's injured lung and before he had a chance to control it, he was overcome with another coughing fit. At the harsh sounds, Kendall dropped the clothes he was searching through and made his way to his friend.

"Logan!" Kendall yelled as he sat beside him, supporting him as his body was assaulted by the racking coughs. "Logan, what's wrong?"

Logan cringed at the sound of concern and worry that had filled Kendall's voice, hating the fact that the concern was directed toward him. He tried to fight through the cough, hoping to suppress the urge long enough to answer Kendall and stop the fear filled eyes that stared back at him. However, the cough had other things in mind, paralyzing him. He thought he would collapse in the snow from the force and he felt the taste of blood in his mouth. He used all his strength to swallow the blood down, his stomach turning at the metallic taste that assaulted his taste buds. He couldn't risk Kendall finding out just how serious he was truly injured.

Fortunately, as the minutes passed he was able to contain the cough to the point where he was able to respond to his terrified friend.

"I-I'm o-kay... It's just a little cough," Logan choked out, hoping that his words would be able to quell the fear that was obviously taking over Kendall. But, Kendall was way too smart to listen to that.

"You're lying."

"K-Kendall..."

"I can see the look of pain all over your face, Logan. Something is wrong! What aren't you telling me?"

"Fine! It's my ribs, alright?" Logan replied, annoyed. He had changed his mind about revealing the true nature of his injuries after Kendall shared the thoughts going through his mind. He doubted he had the heart to tell Kendall just how wrong he was and take away the last bit of hope he had in getting them home. Kendall needed a clear mind, free from worry and fixed on getting home. He knew that wouldn't happen if Logan told him how critical he was with punctured lung and the risk of suffocating. So, he concluded that he would keep the truth to himself, in order to make sure that a full proof plan was made. He had not intended on letting Kendall know about the rib injury, and would have much rather kept with his newfound plan, but Kendall's persistence got the best of him and he was forced to reveal what he didn't want to.

"What about your ribs?" Kendall questioned, eyeing Logan suspiciously.

"I underestimated them," Logan whispered, under his breath. "They're not bruised. A few of them are broken."

"What?"

"When my chest hit the steering wheel, I didn't bruise my ribs. I hit it so hard, that I broke a few of my ribs. That's why it hurts so much when I cough."

"Logan, why didn't you tell me before?"

"Honestly, I didn't know until after I started coughing and realized the pain I was getting on my right side."

"So, you're seriously hurt, too?" The lost look returned on Kendall's face, and Logan knew at that moment what he had to do.

"No. No, I can handle the ribs and I can handle the pain. You don't have to worry about," Logan replied, understanding that he couldn't reveal the more serious undertones associated with broken ribs. He couldn't let Kendall know about his damaged lung and definitely couldn't let him find out about the cut on his side. The look of hurt and the lost expression on Kendall's face when he admitted the broken ribs took the words right out of his mouth. He had told him about the broken ribs, he didn't need to know about everything else.

"Logan, are you sure?" Kendall asked, hoping that he was telling the truth but fearing that he would withhold the truth once again. Looking straight in his eyes, he hoped to convey to Logan just how much he needed to know the truth. But to Logan, all he saw was how much the truth would hurt Kendall.

"Yes, Kendall, I'm sure. It only hurts when I cough anyway. I'm okay," Logan lied, glad to see the sigh of relief Kendall expelled at his words, proof that he believed them to be true, but hating himself for how he was able to lie so easily. Before Kendall could say anything else or question him further, he quickly continued. "So, we should probably just finish looking through the stuff and come up with a way to get home - together."

"Alright, but, this changes some things. You can't carry anything too heavy; I don't want you to aggravate your ribs," Kendall said. He quickly dismissed Logan's attempts at trying to downplay his rib injury. "Look, I might not be a doctor, Loges, but I've seen a couple of rib injuries during hockey and I know they hurt like hell. The last thing you need is to carry a heavy bag and mess up your ribs even more."

Logan knew that Kendall was right, but he didn't want to seem too weak by carrying less than him. However, he thought it best not to argue, especially with Kendall who could be stubborn at times, and begrudgingly nodded his head in acceptance. "Fine," he muttered, returning his attention to stuffing the duffel bag.

"Good," Kendall replied with a smile. "Looks like we've got the essentials. We can pretty much leave the rest until - oh, wait, I think we forgot a bag over in the trees."

Standing, he made his way over to the trees. However, what he thought was a piece of luggage, turned out to be just a big boulder. The fast falling snow was beginning to interfere with his vision. He turned to tell Logan that he was mistaken, when something beyond the tree caught his eyes. Stepping forward slightly, he could make out the road and saw the outline of a car in the distance.

"Logan, look! It's a car," Kendall yelled, his feet moving faster than his mouth as he sprinted through the trees to where the car stood, not bothering to find out if Logan was following behind him. The only thing registering was their chance at rescue.

Logan, alarmed by the sound of Kendall's yell, rose to his feet and followed behind in hot pursuit of his friend. "Kendall! Wait up!"

He cut through the trees so quickly that he caught up to Kendall in seconds, slamming into his back at full speed, nearly sending them both into the middle of the road. "Kendall, why did you stop? I almost -"

"Logan, look," Kendall whispered, pointing in the direction of the car with his uninjured arm. The previous tone of hope and happiness that was in his voice just seconds before was gone, instead his voice was flat and void of emotion. Turning, Logan spotted the car and at that moment, the air seemed to leave his throat.

There. A few yards away from the two best friends was the gray van. The van that started it all, that caused the horrible nightmare that they were currently being forced to endure. It looked unharmed, just a few dents on the front bumper, clearly caused by its collision with their car. However, it looked to be stuck in large snow back in the middle of the road, its engine still running.

Kendall reacted first at the sight, and without hesitating, made his way over to the vehicle.

"Wait, Kendall, where are you going?"

"Maybe he can help us."

"Help us?! That guy is the reason why we were in the accident to begin with, Kendall," Logan said, incredulously, grabbing Kendall's free arm to stop him in place.

"It's worth a try, Logan. We don't have many options," Kendall replied, shaking his arm free and continuing his trek toward the van. Even though Logan huffed, he followed behind, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Hey! Hey, can you help us?! We're stuck in the woods, our car is pretty totaled and we need -" Kendall began, but the rest of his sentence never fully come out as he stared at the scene in front of him once he reached the driver's side of the van.

Once again, he stopped unexpectedly in mid-stride, causing Logan to crash into his back. "Kendall, you've got to stop doing that?!"

However, Kendall remained stoic, unmoving, his eyes fixated on inside of the van. So, turning his head, Logan took in the scene that had paralyzed his friend and he too was unable to believe what he saw with his eyes.

Kendall totally forgot that Logan had been following, hadn't even realized that Logan was standing next to him. It wasn't until he heard the quick and sharp intakes of breath did he realize that he wasn't alone and that the horrible sight in front of him was also being seen my Logan.

"Omigo- oh god, Kendall! Oh, God!" Logan gasped, unable to form coherent thoughts. He was shaking from head to toe and it wasn't from the cold.

"Logan, it's okay," Kendall replied, turning to his face his friend. He used his free hand to turn Logan toward him but while his body followed commands, his head remained stuck in its position, frozen in its spot. Kendall had to use his hand to physically pry Logan's glued eyes away. "Logan, look at me. It's okay. You're ok-"

"B-b-but he i-isn't, K-Ken-Kendall, h-h-he's - oh God," Logan stuttered. "Kendall, he's dead!"

Though Kendall already knew that fact to be true, the brown eyes that stared blankly at him when he first reached the driver of the car providing him that truth, hearing Logan's strained voice, still made the news difficult to absorb. He felt his strength on the situation waver slightly, and he had to mentally encourage himself to stay strong. He had to be strong for Logan, who lookjed like he was on the verge of a mental breakdown at seeing the dead body.

"I know. But it's okay. We're okay. You and me, and James and Carlos. We're all okay," Kendall reassured.

But Logan shook his head in denial, his eyes blank and ears not receptive to Kendall's words.

"N-N-No... No! We're not. No, we're not okay. We're going to die, too," Logan replied, gasping, as he struggled to catch his breath. Logan knew that he was thinking irrationally. That the van driver's death had nothing to do with his friends' fates. But, the shock of seeing his first dead body had his mind reeling, and nothing made sense anymore.

"No! Logan, no we're not going to die," Kendall shouted, after the initial shock of Logan's statement wore off. Though his voice was firm, he could tell by Logan's blank stare that he still didn't believe him. Taking Logan's face into his hands, he forced Logan to look into his eyes. "Logan, we are going to get out of here, alright? Look at me, buddy, I promise you, I'm going to get us out of this. Do you hear me? I'm going to get us home!"

He was elated to see a brief glimpse of understanding in Logan's eyes and the slight nod of his head told Logan that he agreed with Kendall's words.

"Okay, good. Why don't you go back over to the trees, okay, buddy? I'm just going to check to see if there's anything in there that we can -"

"W-w-wait, you- you're going to go through a dead man's car?"

"Maybe he's got a phone that works."

"But he's dead, Kendall."

"And we need help, Logan," Kendall answered, in a voice that meant any further discussion was closed.

Logan realized that Kendall was right. And, heeding his advice, he made his way back to the trees.

Kendall waited until he saw Logan disappear into the trees before he made any movement toward the inside of the car. He, at first, could only stare at the middle aged man, slumped over in the driver's seat, whose head rested on the steering wheel as if it were a pillow and whose eyes stared aimlessly at nothing. It was the first time he had seen a dead body himself, and it shocked him how it didn't trouble him as much as it did Logan. He decided not to dwell on that fact, and opened the car door to search through the van driver's belongings. From what he could make out without touching the body, there was not many things of importance, just magazines and old cigarette buds.

This warranted Kendall to assume that a cellphone was probably in the man's pocket. The idea however, of touching the dead man seemed to be more daunting that just looking through his car. He doubted he had the stomach to do it, but tried to will himself to perform the much needed action. He thought of his friends and remembered how he promised Logan that he would get them home. Holding his breath, and closing his eyes, he reached out and patted down the man's jacket for any sign of a small square object. The disappointment he felt when his search yielded no results crashed down on him as he realized that he had lost his last bit of hope.

"Shit," he whispered under his breath, pulling his hand away and wiping it as if it were soiled. Closing the door, he gave the van driver one last sorrowful look and followed the path back to Logan and their belongings.

Logan sat in silence as he finished packing their clothes into the duffel bag and only looked up momentarily to acknowledge Kendall's return. Kendall was happy to see that he seemed to have regained his composure; he was no longer shaking from shock. Kendall kneeled down beside him to offer more assistance.

"It all makes sense now," Logan whispered under his breath, but loud enough for Kendall to hear. Seeing the look of confusion on Kendall's face, he continued. "The accident. He didn't do it on purpose. He didn't mean to hit us."

"What do you mean? How do you know that?"

"Didn't you see the way his arm was clutching at his chest? The grimace of pain that was on his face? He probably had a heart attack behind the wheel. After he di- after it happened, his foot stay stuck on the gas and the car kept speeding on. No wonder, he kept hitting our bumper. Why he didn't stop when we were stuck in the middle of the road. He was already gone and there no one who could stop the car," Logan said, as if it were the easiest thing to understand.

Once again, Logan's ability to make sense out of everything amazed Kendall and then he realized what Logan had said. He felt guilty now for all the bad thoughts he had about the driver of the van before he knew the truth.

"Let's not tell the guys about the driver just yet? I don't want to scare them with the truth," Kendall said, clearing his throat to remove the lump that had formed from his previous thoughts.

"Sure. I understand," Logan shrugged. "Oh, wait, did he have a cellphone?"

"No," Kendall admitted, hating himself for the look of disappointment that flashed across Logan's face.

"It was brave of you for even trying. I mean, take it from the guy who almost had a nervous breakdown just looking at a dead body," Logan replied.

"It doesn't matter. I think I might have figured out -"

Kendall's words were cut off by James panicked scream and, without hesitation, he and Logan jumped to their feet, running in the direction of their friends.

* * *

James and Carlos tried to keep their conversation going, both trying to help the other through the separate pain they were both feeling. However, the topic of the Palm Woods wore thin, and silence fell on the friends as they both became lost in their thoughts.

"They've been gone for awhile," James said, breaking the silence and pulling Carlos's attention.

"Don't worry. Logan's probably trying to take everything but the kitchen sink and Kendall's trying to get him to rational," Carlos spoke up.

"I think you mean 'ration' buddy," James replied with a smile.

"Ration! Yea, ration. That's the word."

"They probably need help," James said, looking past the car to try and make out any movement, to get any proof that they were still on the other side. "I wish I could help them. But this stupid leg... I can't even stand!"

"Hey, it's okay, James. I'm sure Logan and Kendall can handle everything." Carlos said, hoping to lift James's spirits. He could tell that James was angry at the fact that he was unable to walk due to his leg injury; he never liked feeling useless when others were in trouble. Realizing that he would have to take his mind off that fact, Carlos asked, "You cold?"

"No, I'm fine," James responded.

"Liar. You're shaking like a leaf," Carlos said, shaking his head as he pulled the blanket up around James's shoulder. "Is that better?"

James smiled at the gesture, amazed by Carlos's desire to take care of him, and nodded his head in agreement, "Yea, Carlitos. It's much better. Thanks… again."

They both knew what he meant by that statement.

"You know, I heard what you said," Carlos said.

"What?" James replied, momentarily confused.

"I heard what you said while I was unconscious. About me saving your life," Carlos answered, surprisingly uncomfortable with the conversation he just started.

"Oh."

Carlos thought that would be the only response to what he had said, and picked at his brain for another topic. He was about to say something off hand about the snowfall picking up, when James muttered under his breath, "I didn't think you could hear me. I thought you were knocked out."

"I don't know where I was. It was like I knew you guys were around me and I could hear everything you guys were saying, but I just couldn't wake up. My eyes just wouldn't open," Carlos revealed, looking at James who stared back at him in awe. Again, that uncomfortable feeling returned. "Well, I just wanted to say that and you're welcome."

James couldn't help the laugh that escaped his mouth at what Carlos just said. "Carlos, you saved my life. I thought I was going to die. Heck, for a second there, I even welcomed death. And then, out of nowhere, here you come, totally going against my wishes may I add, and pull me out of an exploding car. And, all you have to say is 'You're welcome'?"

"Pretty much," Carlos replied nonchalantly.

"Carlos, I owe you my life. I can't thank you enough."

"James..."

"Honestly, Carlos, I am forever indebted to you."

"James, you don't have to -"

"You're my hero."

"James, stop it, alright? I get it, I saved you. And, you know what, I could say that I did it because that's what friends are for and all that. But, to be honest, I did for myself," Carlos said, cutting James off. His voice was full of sadness as if he wasn't proud of the words he said.

"For yourself?"

"James, you, Logan, and Kendall are more than friends to me. More than brothers to me. You guys are like a pieces of me. And if you di... If you didn't make it in that accident, it would have been like I lost of piece of myself. So, no, you don't owe me anything because I saved you to keep myself whole. I saved you to save me," Carlos said, his eyes wet with unshed tears.

James had to admit Carlos's words caused heat to build up behind his eyes as well, and he blinked a few times to prevent the tears from falling. Clearing his throat, he pulled Carlos into a sideway hug. "Come here. When did you get to be so mature?"

"I think it happened sometime during freshman year. All those free periods with Logan, he kind of rubbed off on me," Carlos joked, tears forgotten.

"Well, don't be growing up too fast for me," James smiled. Clearing his throat, he looked about the scene around him. "What is really taking them so long?"

"I don't know but I hope they come soon. I really want some corndogs," Carlos answered, even though he knew James didn't expect him to know the answer to his question. He eyed the cooler of corndogs, longingly. "I don't think Kendall and Logan would mind if I just took one."

Carlos leaned forward to reach the small rectangular box, however, the change in position altered his equilibrium and caused a sharp pain to radiate throughout his whole head. He couldn't stop the deep groan that escaped his mouth and placed both hands to his head to keep it together; he was sure his head had somehow cracked in two. James was at his side, he could see his mouth moving, forming words directed toward him, but the immense pain in his head making it impossible to decipher.

"Carlos!" James screamed, as soon as he heard the cry of pain. He was at his side a mere second later. "Carlos? Carlos, are you okay?" However, the questions went unanswered, as Carlos continued to hold his head and wither in pain.

Carlos wanted to answer James, help him understand that he was okay, tell him that the pain would quickly pass and he'd be okay again. But this pain was so unrelenting, he even doubted if those words would be true. It hurts, he thought. Oh, God. It hurts so much.

And then, it just wasn't the pain. In the pit of his stomach, he felt an unusual feeling. His stomach ached like it would if he ate too many corndogs and drank too many smoothies. Before he knew it, he felt the acid bile rise in his throat, and with warning, he threw up the little contents of his stomach, littering the pristine white snow with gastric juices and Fruit Smackers.

"Oh no," James whispered, as he remembered, deep in the recesses of his mind, how Logan warned about the signs of a concussion getting worse. He could swear that Logan mentioned something about nausea and vomiting being bad. Placing a hand of comfort on his friend's shoulder, he watched as Carlos turned sickly gray in color and brought up more of the little food he had been able to consume.

"Kendall! Logan! Guys, I need some help over here." James screamed.

He heard their quickened footsteps before he saw them, but when he did, his heart jumped in relief. Their eyes settled on Carlos, bent over in the snow, his body jerking involuntarily as he began to dry heave.

"Carlos!" Logan yelled, as he ran to his side. "Carlos look at me."

However, Carlos shook his head away from Logan's reach, turning to throw up once more.

"Kendall, this is bad," Logan said, looking up to their leader. "We need to find a way to -"

"It's okay. I have. I figured out how we're going to get home."

Author's note #2: Good? Bad? Horrible? Fantastic? Hit that little button below and let me know what you think. I write this all for you lovely readers and I would love to know what you guys are thinking about this story. Oh, and a virtual cookie goes to anyone who can correctly guess what Kendall's plan might be. And I make great cookies!


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: My dear readers, I'm so sorry. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 8 - In Time of Need, I Will Find You

Kendall's words hung in the air for some time while Logan tended to Carlos. It took a few tense moments of watching Carlos wither in pain as he expelled the contents of his stomach, before the vomiting finally stopped. Unfortunately, the attack on his body left Carlos exhausted and visibly weaker; while he hadn't regained his normal color yet, he was able to sit up on his own accord and rest against a tree. Furthermore, the pain in his head had multiplied tenfold and had become unrelenting, causing him to moan in agony as Logan examined him. Unable to tolerate the heartbreaking sounds much longer, Logan cracked and gave Carlos a pain reliever to ease his aching head. He had been holding off giving any pain medication, afraid that it would cause him to fall asleep, but the look of pure agony on Carlos's face warranted a break in his rule. However, he didn't risk giving him two, which he knew would ease the pain a lot quicker but fearing it would force Carlos to succumb to unconsciousness. Thankfully, minutes later, Carlos rested quietly, his face free of pain, and him, like his other friends looked up to Kendall, awaiting his news.

"So, Kendall," Logan urged. "Tell us. What is this plan?"

Staring into the eyes of his friends as they waited on bated breath for him to tell them of his plan caused Kendall to flatter slightly on his words. Once again, a feeling of anxiety overcame him as he realized the importance of what he was about to say. This plan had to work. There was no other option for his friends. He just hoped they realized that as well. Taking a deep breath, he responded.

"Logan, you still have that map?"

"Yes, of course," Logan said, pulling out the folded paper from the inside panel of his jacket.

"Great," Kendall replied. "Now, I vaguely remember you telling my mom about how you prepared rest stops and marked designated camp sites on that map?"

"Yea, something like that. I told her in case of an emergencies while we're driving I labeled a few places that could offer us some assistance," Logan answered, confused about where this conversation was going.

"Alright, so how far are we from the nearest place?"

Logan eyed Kendall suspiciously as he opened the map to answer his question. "Well, according to the last destination sign we passed on the road, we were five miles away from California, which would put us here," Logan said, as he pointed on the map.

"Are there any of your rest stops nearby?" Kendall asked, silently praying that he would finally hear some good news for a change.

"Well, in my preparation, I did note there were some cabins a few miles inland from the major highway. I didn't mark them as part of my rest stops, though," Logan replied.

"Why not?"

"They are rarely occupied during this time of year. Most of the people that live in those cabins usually rent them out to tourists, but many tourists don't chose to camp out here due to the unpredictable weather," Logan answered.

"Dammit!" Kendall yelled, angrily as he kicked a patch of snow with his foot. He couldn't believe their luck was so bad that the area they would crash in would be the one place that was scarcely occupied. He could feel his resolve weaken once again, the feeling of doubt slowly threatening to take over him at the news. But, he couldn't give in; he couldn't quit on his plan. "Is there a possibility? Is there even the slightest possibility that there could be people still living in those cabins?"

"I guess, but I can't know for sure without -"

"We have to try," Kendall whispered to himself. "It's the only way."

"Kendall, you're scaring me," James said, staring up in fear at Kendall's weird behavior. Usually, cool and calm under pressure, seeing Kendall pace back and forth in distress and talking to himself, unnerved him. "What are you guys talking about?"

"We're talking about how we are going to get home."

"We are?" Logan asked. "I thought we were just talking about cabins."

"What? No - I mean, yes. Yes, we're talking about cabins, but don't you see?" Kendall asked, excitedly, as the plan seemed to formulate in his mind. However, the blank stares he got in response from his friends told him otherwise. "I guess, you don't see. Alright, you guys are not going to like this, but this is the only way that I can think of getting us home. We have to move."

"Move? Move where?" Logan asked, dumbly.

"We have to head to the cabins. To get help. To find shelter. We can't stay out here in the middle of a snowstorm. We have to walk," Kendall said, simply. "Just like Logan said, we just have to walk a few miles inward and then we'll be able to -"

"Wait, you expect us to walk through this storm?" Carlos asked, making sure he heard correctly. His mind was still a little foggy, and he was having some trouble following the conversation.

"Kendall, I can't even put weight on my leg. I won't be able to stand, let alone walk," James added.

"Guys, we can't just stay here. The snow is picking up again, the temperature is falling. And who knows how long it's going to take for help to arrive," Kendall replied, admitting the troubling facts that had been haunting his thoughts for the past hour.

"But you said, help would be on their way as soon as they found out about the accident," Carlos reminded. His voice was so small, it pained Kendall not to hear the usual lightness and humor it almost always carried. He vaguely remembered providing those comforting words to Carlos when he started to panic earlier while they were in the car. At the time, he had believed those words; he had found comfort in them as well. But, now, enduring the harsh conditions in the past few hours and seeing how close to reality death could be to his friends, he knew he couldn't rely on wishful thinking much longer.

"They might be aware that we had an accident. And yes, they might be coming to help us. But there's no telling how long it's going to take for them to reach us through the storm. They might not - they might not come tonight," Kendall answered, hating the fact that he had to crush the last bit of hope they had for rescue. At the news, he could see that his friends were still having trouble swallowing everything that he was telling them. James looked overwhelmed, his face occupying the look he usually had when he crammed for a pop quiz ten minutes before class. Carlos looked frightened, his face white with fear, a deep contrast to the green tinge it had when he was throwing up minutes ago. And Logan - Logan had a look of understanding, like he knew the needed words were difficult to say.

Logan did understand. Everything that Kendall said was true. Their rescue was not guaranteed to come tonight - if at all. With the snowfall increasing, rescue efforts would be halted until the storm passed. And even when they resumed, with no cell phones, they had no means of communication to ensure help would come to them. That meant they were on their own. They would have to rely on themselves for survival through this storm of the century. And, staying outdoors wasn't much of an option, they all knew how poor their survival skills were. One trip down memory lane when they attempted to out camp the girls told Logan that their best chance at surviving this nightmare would not be toughing it out in the wilderness. They needed shelter. They needed to be out of the harsh elements, in a place warm where they could truly tend to their wounds and get some rest. Yes, everything Kendall had said was true. They needed to move.

"You're right, Kendall," Logan said, trying not to notice the looks of disbelief that were on Carlos's and James's faces. "Well, he is guys. There is no way to know when help will come and we can't stay in the snow all night. We don't have the equipment, the know how, and none of us are in any condition to even try. James, both you and Kendall have to keep your wounds clean and dry; we can't risk infection. And Carlos, there is no telling what hypothermia would do to your already weakened condition. Even I need… uhhh… even I can't stay out in the cold for much longer. We need to walk."

He hadn't meant to disclose that last bit of information, it had slipped out on it's own accord. He quickly looked around and was grateful to see that the comment had gone by unnoticed.

While Kendall looked pleased at Logan's aid, James and Carlos remained adamant that moving was not a great plan. Before they voiced their displeasure once again, Logan hurriedly continued, "Look guys, its a only a few miles inward. It should take us two hours at most and that's counting the slowed pace due to our weakened conditions. If we start out now, we'll probably make it to the cabins before nightfall. It really is our best chance of surviving. I mean, the only thing we're really going to have to worry about is the off chance none of the cabins are open due to the snowstorm, which would be highly un-"

"Wait, so let me get this straight. You and Kendall want us, me with a bum leg and Carlos who can move two inches without throwing up, to walk through a raging snowstorm for three miles on the chance that cabins might be open and people could be there to help us out?" James questioned, the idea sounding even more farfetched as he went deeper and deeper into its explanation.

"Yes," Kendall and Logan said in unison, with similar smiles on their faces.

"Well, when you put it like that..." James replied, rolling his eyes. His message was clear; he still didn't like the plan.

Everything was becoming too much to handle. One minute, they're struggling to survive a car accident. The next minute, they're struggling to survive an exploding car. And now, they have to struggle to survive through a horrible snow storm in the woods of God knows where? It just didn't seem fair and it didn't make sense. James understood he was beginning to misdirect his anger at his friends, they had no way of controlling this situation any more than he did. They were probably experiencing the same thoughts that were going through his head, trying to make sense of everything and their unfortunate luck. However, they were still trying to find a way to survive, to beat all the odds and obstacles that stood in their way and threatened to keep them away from home; they continued to fight.

James knew he would have to fight as well. Fight through the anger he was feeling at what was happening. Fight through the pain in his leg that had slowly crept up on him in the last half hour. Fight through the fear he tried to keep at bay at the idea of all the unknowns they were destined to face. Looking at the faces of determination and fearlessness on both Logan and Kendall, James begrudgingly released a deep sigh of acceptance. He was prepared to stand battle with his friends against this terrible nightmare. The last piece to this puzzle would be Carlos. And James knew he would have to be the one to convince him to go along with Kendall's plan.

"It sure is a crazy plan, huh, Carlitos?" James asked, lightheartedly to his friend who now leaned protectively on his shoulder.

"Yep, sure is," Carlos replied, quickly.

"But, no one can handle crazy better than you, right?"

"Yep, that is correct. I am the best at handling crazy.'

"So, you can handle this right?"

The question hung in the air while Carlos tried to figure out the best way to answer it. There was no doubt that Carlos was the wildest member of their group, always eager to face crazy plans like they were a walk in the park. However, his hesitancy to take on this crazy plan didn't just worry his friends; it worried him too. It was no mystery that Carlos was not fine, that he was not his normal self. An expert in head injuries, having suffered many such incidents in his young life, Carlos was no stranger to the common signs and symptoms associated with a concussion. And yet, something was so different this time. Maybe it was the way his head collided with the seat, or the strong force of impact; whatever it was, the resulting concussion had his mind so foggy and thick, that he even doubted his ability to walk straight let alone doing so without throwing up again.

However, with those thoughts in mind, Carlos couldn't help but realize that all his friends were right. There was no way they could make through the night in this snowstorm. He knew they would have to move to find shelter and he couldn't let the fear of his limitations cloud his judgment. He couldn't just think of himself anymore; he had to think of his friends, his brothers. This was their best bet for survival, and though there was no denying that it would hurt and that it would be difficult, he would endure anything and everything for them.

"Yea," Carlos answered. " I can handle this."

James shifted in his position, slightly, to get a closer look at Carlos as he voiced his affirmation to the plan. At first, Carlos's face looked unreadable, difficult to comprehend, and then that look of determination spread across. The same look that was on his face when he appeared in front of James's face to free his leg. He had that same fire in his eyes and James knew that Carlos meant what he said.

"Alright, then," he replied, staring up at Kendall and Logan. "It looks like we're walking through a snowstorm."

Logan couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth at James's statement. He made it seem like it would be leisurely walk through the park on a sunny day.. But Logan, knew better than that. It was going to be hard - for everybody. What they were about to do made escaping an exploding car look like nothing. But, he was confident that they would succeed. They had to.

"Well, since that's decided, we should get moving," Logan said, taking charge of the situation. He pushed the duffel bag of clothes toward his friends and continued, "You guys start layering your clothes. Put as much clothes as you can without impeding your movement. And that means socks and gloves, too. I'm going to go look for some branches big enough and strong enough for you to use as crutches, James."

With a few clothes in his hand as well, Logan trekked toward the trees in search for his makeshift crutches, leaving the rest of his friends to do just as he instructed. Kendall kneeled down to sort the articles of clothing, handing hooded sweaters and long sleeved shirts to their designated owners. He himself put on an extra hoodie, as best as he could with his arm in a sling. He played with the idea of taking his arm out of the sling to put on a sweater, but the pain he felt once he tried to pull his arm out of the protective erased that thought in a second. He would rely on the clothes he had on for warmth, and if it became too cold he would use blankets as another layer.

He looked toward Carlos, glad to see that he was able to put on a sweater without an difficulty. While his movements were slow and it took him more time than usual, he was able to complete the task without any assistance. He then turned to James and watched as he struggled with putting on the extra pair of socks and quickly went to his aid. The fact that he had to keep the injured leg straight impeded his efforts of putting the sock on his uninjured leg. Kendall grabbed the sock and took off James's shoe to offer his assistance.

Though James was grateful, he was sure his face didn't express any hint of his gratitude. His mind was to preoccupied understanding exactly what he signed up for. While he had agreed to the plan, albeit reluctantly, one look at his leg had him doubting his decision once again.

"I can't believe we're really doing this," James muttered, under his breath. Kendall stopped his action, not knowing if the statement was directed toward him, or if James even expected a response. However, before he even had a chance, James continued, "I mean, I know we have to do this, we can't stay outside in the snow. I get that, I really do. I just can't believe all of this - that we have to go through all of this."

"Yea, I know what you mean. It seems like a horrible nightmare. But we're going to be fine. We're going to find shelter and wait the storm out until help comes," Kendall said, encouragingly, his voice exuding confidence that he hoped to share with his worried friend. However, all he got in return was a quick nod of the head. He placed James shoe back on his foot and turned his attention to the injured leg that was exposed to the elements. There was no way a sock would fit over that swollen ankle. Grabbing a few scarves, his included, he wrapped James leg with the protective wool fabric, hoping it would provide a layer of warmth since the lower part of his jeans had been cut away.

"Kendall, wait," James suddenly said, the faraway look finally gone from his eyes. "What did Logan mean when he said even he couldn't stay out in the cold?"

The question surprised Kendall, he had thought those words had gone unnoticed. Kendall didn't feel like he should be the one to disclose the severity of Logan's rib injury but he knew James had a right to know.

Sighing, he answered, "It's his ribs. They aren't bruised. A few of them are broken. And every time he coughs, its extremely painful. That's why he can't stay out in the cold."

"What?! He broke his ribs?! Why didn't he tell us?!"

"Shhh," Kendall whispered, "Keep your voice down. I don't think he wants us to worry too much about him. And in his defense, he didn't know they were broken until he started coughing and felt the pain. He really did think they were bruised."

"I can't believe this. Did anyone of us escape that accident without being seriously injured? How bad is it?"

"He said, it's nothing so -"

"It must be serious," James said, finishing Kendall's statement.

The funny thing was that Kendall feared that thought. Logan had downplayed his injury too quickly, which to anyone who really knew Logan, meant the injury was worrisome. Logan would never want anyone to worry about him; growing up, he had kept his many injuries caused by bullies a secret even if they were as obvious as a black eye or busted lip. While he had openly admitted the injury to Kendall, the fact that he had tried to hide it in the first place indicated that it probably was something to hide. Kendall was resolved to make sure that he kept a close eye on Logan.

"Don't worry, I plan on making sure he doesn't aggravate his injuries to much," Kendall replied, as he finished wrapping James's leg with the scarves. Kendall took a good look at his handiwork, proud that he completed the task without causing James much pain. He was able to produce a thick barrier of warmth.

"You know, you didn't have to do that," James said, admiring what Kendall just finished.

"Of course, I did. I couldn't leave your leg exposed like -"

:No, I mean, you didn't have to give up your scarf. It's freezing; you're going to need it. Especially since you didn't put any layers on."

"Yes, I did, James. Your leg needs to stay covered. You heard what Logan said."

"But, what about you?" James asked.

"I'll be fine. We're from Minnesota. We've dealt with colder."

But James just shook his head refusing to accept the gesture. "No, Kendall, you need it. Take it."

"Honestly, James, it's nothing. It's just a scarf."

"Thanks, Kendall," James whispered, defeated. To him, it wasn't just a scarf. It was another act of sacrifice by one of his friends. Just like Carlos, Kendall was risking his well being for him.

"Alright," Logan said, as he returned, his arms full of thick branches of various sizes. "So I found a few sturdy looking sticks that might be good for you to use as crutches, buddy."

"Logan! You shouldn't be carrying those," Kendall called out, rising to his feet to take some of the load off of Logan. But Logan, quickly dismissed him. "I'm okay, Kendall. They aren't even that heavy. I can carry them."

Kendall went to open his mouth once again to voice his displeasure, but Logan ignored him and directed his attention to James, "Alright, James, let's try a few of these out and see which are good for your height and weight."

The task seemed easier said than done. Getting James up from his resting position took a lot of effort from both Kendall and Logan. With Kendall only having one functional arm, he depended on Logan to help pull James up to a standing position and he hated that. He knew the last thing Logan needed to do with broken ribs was support James weight, but if Logan was in any distress, he endured it silently. James tried to help as much as he could to help, trying to place as much of his weight on his good leg and push up, but the pain that the shift in position caused tossed his plan out the window. He could only concentrate on the pain, the fierce unbelievable pain, as he desperately tried to get to his feet.

Finally, after several failed attempts, James stood, his body propped against the tree and his injured leg securely off the ground. Kendall and Logan stood beside him, catching their breath from the energy they expended. Logan absentmindedly rubbed the right side of his chest in pain, an action that didn't go unnoticed by either Kendall or James. However, before either of them could ask about the movement, Logan straightened up and brought the "crutches" over for James to try.

"Okay, moment of truth, James. You ready?" Logan asked, his breath still slightly labored.

James only let out a deep sigh and nodded his head in agreement as he stared determined at the pieces of wood.

It was awkward at first, using the branches as crutches. James was unable to get a good grip the first few times and then it was difficult to find good ones that were both thick enough and long enough to support his weight. There were a few close calls where James threatened to fall flat on his face, but fortunately his friends were right beside him to help keep him up. After a couple of failed attempts, James was able to find the perfect set of crutches that he was able to move through the snow with little effort.

"I think we found our match," James said, happily, proud that he had accomplish a feat he had thought would have been daunting.

"You're doing great, James," Logan added, encouragingly. He watched as James carefully placed the crutches before him and ease through the movement effortlessly. "Just make sure to keep that bad leg up. You don't want to put pressure on it by accident. By the way, Kendall, good job wrapping his leg up."

Kendall, still in deep concentration watching James move with the crutches, quickly replied, "Oh, yea, thanks. I just thought the last thing we needed was for that leg to get frostbite or something, right?"

Logan was both proud and saddened by Kendall's quick thinking. While he had properly thought ahead of complications that they might face in their trek through the snowstorm, it troubled Logan that their thoughts were so serious. "Yea, right." Logan agreed, fighting through a heaviness in his throat. The severity of their situation was becoming more of a reality.

Kendall sensed the tenseness in the situation, and quickly cleared his throat to rid himself of the awkwardness. "Well, I should probably make sure we didn't forget anything and check to see if the rest of our stuff is properly hidden."

"Kendall, wait," Logan spoke up, as he walked toward Kendall's retreating form. He was glad that there was some distance from Carlos and James; he didn't want them to hear this conversation. "I was thinking. Are you sure this is the only way? I mean, what about the v-van."

"The van? What about the van?"

"The engine was still running. Maybe we could… I don't know, use the van to find some help, " Logan struggled to say. Kendall could tell the disturbing image of the dead driver was still imprinted in his mind. And while Logan's suggestion seemed like a feasible alternative, Kendall had to shake his head in disagreement.

"The gas tank was on empty. I glanced at the dashboard while I was looking through the car. We wouldn't have even make it through a quarter of a mile down the road before the car shut down on us. Believe me, this is our only way," Kendall replied. He watched as the look of hope disappeared from Logan's face. "Don't worry, Logie, we're going to be okay. I'm not going to break my promise."

Logan smiled as he remembered Kendall's words. "I know we'll be okay. I know you won't break your promise, Kendall."

"Good. Let me go check our stuff. I'll be right back," Kendall replied, and without waiting for confirmation, he turned and disappeared behind the remains of the destroyed car.

Logan watched him disappear for a moment. Still a few feet away from his friends, he was glad for the few minutes alone, it gave him time to recollect himself. Logan was hurting. He rubbed his sore and aching muscles of his chest as the pain he had been keeping at bay started to reveal itself. He had definitely pushed himself, pulling the muscles as he layered his clothing, straining as picked up and carried the branches, and aggravating the tender area as he lifted James to his feet. His chest was screaming in protest from all the movement and activity, and he had to mentally brace himself before he voiced the pain aloud.

However, he couldn't succumb to the pain now, he had to remain strong. His friends needed him once again. Just like before when the pain in his side had reached a fever pitch, Logan envisioned a bigger box and he willed his mind to place all that pain he was experiencing into that box. It had worked; by the time he was able to mentally lock the box, the pain was merely an annoying ache that Logan could tolerate. He waited until he was sure the pain had vanished from his face before he turned and headed over to his friends.

Logan returned his attention to James who was mastering walking the makeshift crutches. "Alright, speedy. You can rest for now until Kendall gets back. I don't want you to overexert yourself."

"Awww, man. I was just starting to get the hang of it!"

James reaction was nearly comical, like a child who had just been denied five minutes off their curfew, but he agreed to rest against a tree. Logan was grateful to see that James had taken a liking to the idea of crutches. Of all of them, Logan was most worried about James's ability to walking through the snow, but fortunately, the crutches seemed useful and even worked at improving James's mood. He could tell that James was upset at the fact that he couldn't move and help as easily as usual. This would keep James happy at least for a little while.

Content, he turned to face the last member of their traveling group - Carlos, who seemed to take the minutes he had away from his friends worried attention to collect himself. Carlos had been able to properly layer his clothing as instructed and was nestled securely in numerous sweaters, hoodies, and scarves. He was glad to see that James had been to walk; he knew the inner battle he was facing at the fact that his mobility was limited and he couldn't help as much as he wanted too. Seeing James move through the snow with the crutches gave Carlos a sense of pride toward his friend. He hoped he could be just as successful in overcoming his own limitations.

Sensing Logan's worried stare, he let out a deep sigh and realized it was his turn.

"How are you feeling, buddy?" Logan asked, trying hard to keep his tone of voice light.

"Well, the pounding in my head has stopped a little bit. It doesn't feel like my head is being abused by a jack hammer anymore," Carlos joked. He was only rewarded by a soft chuckle from Logan, who still didn't quite see the humor in Carlos's head injury. "Honestly, the medication you gave me is starting to work."

"Great! And the nausea?"

"When I'm sitting still like this and the world isn't spinning, I feel fine. I don't really know what's going to happen when I start to move," Carlos replied, honestly.

"You think you might be ready to try?"

"I think I don't have much of a choice."

With that, Carlos straightened his seated position. No longer leaning on the tree for support, he placed one arm around his side and pushed from the ground to stand up. Sensing the difficulty the task might cause, he tried to rock his body to gain momentum, but the weakness had already set into his muscles, making it nearly impossible for him to stand up on his own. Placing his arms around his shoulders, Logan offered his assistance. One glance into his eyes, and he was greeted with a look of gratitude. Carlos gave a quick nod of the head, and with Logan's added strength, pushed his weakened body off the floor.

The color seemed to leave his face almost instantly, as he leaned heavily against the tree once again for support. His legs felt shaky underneath him and he doubted he would be able to stand on his feet for long without collapsing, let alone walk through the rising snow without falling on his face. The pain that he just said had improved returned with a vengeance and his vision blurred within seconds. He quickly closed his eyes as the dreaded feeling of queasiness threatened to consume him. He was so engulfed in controlling his symptoms that he nearly forgotten Logan by his side. It wasn't until he heard Logan say his name did he remember.

"Carlos! Hey, Carlos! I need you to open your eyes and look at me, buddy," Logan said, soothingly as he placed a comforting hand on Carlos's shoulder. He had noticed the change in Carlos's condition and the way he stood so still frightened him. He was thankful when Carlos opened his eyes a little bit to stare into his. "Yea, that's it buddy."

"Hey," Carlos said, his voice shaky and small to his own ears. "Logan, I didn't know you had a twin." It was meant to make light of the situation, but the message was clear to Logan.

"Double vision?"

"And the trees are moving again," Carlos replied, closing his eyes once again, as he raised his head to rest against the tree bark as well, and praying that everything would stop spinning again.

"Slow, deep breaths, Carlos. Just concentrate on your breathing. Don't focus on anything but your breathing," Logan said in that same soothing tone. He watched as Carlos followed his instructions and allowed the sound of his voice to calm him.

"I hate this, Logie. I hate this so much," Carlos whispered under his breath. Whether he intended Logan to hear his admission was unknown, but the fact that they stood so close to each other, Logan was able to hear more than just his words. The mere fact Carlos even admitted that he was hurting was clue for him; Carlos rarely complained, choosing to endure any stress in silent. But, the anguish that soaked each word was another dagger piercing Logan's heart. He would give anything in the world to take his friend's pain away that very moment. But their only option was to get to those cabins and wait out the storm for help to come.

"I know, Carlitos, I know. But, you're doing so good. You just have to stay with me, okay?" Logan said, over a large lump that had surprisingly formed in his throat. Carlos nodded his head in agreement. "I made a promise to you that I will get us home safely, and even though there have been a few obstacles to try and break that promise, I intend to keep it. I am going to do whatever in my power to get us home, Carlos." He couldn't help but notice how similar his words were to Kendall's just minutes ago.

Logan's voice carried such a strong conviction, Carlos was not surprised when he opened his eyes to stare at his friend to see a fiery look of determination stare back at him.

"I know you will, Logan."

"Good, because I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"No matter how hard it is, no matter how much your body wants to give in, you have to promise me to keep fighting. Promise me that you will stay awake as long as you can," Logan said, his voice breaking at the words. The uncomfortable prickle of tears filling behind his eyes returned and he knew tears threatened to fall, but he quickly blinked them away before they could make their arrival. He knew was asking a lot from Carlos. The concussion was serious and sooner or later, the need to sleep would force him to succumb to unconsciousness. But, the seriousness of the head injury scared Logan and he needed to keep Carlos awake as long as possible.

Logan's words took Carlos by surprise. Not only in the fact that they were said, but the fact that Logan felt that they needed to be said. The fact that he needed to make Carlos that he stayed awake scared him, but what scared him even more was the fact that he couldn't say the words back. He knew what Logan needed to hear and the words were there, just on the tip of his tongue ready to make their entrance into the world. But he just couldn't make that promise.

"L-Logan, I can't..."

"Carlos, please. You have to promise me, I need you to make this promise because this is the only way that I'll be able to think properly to get us home. I need to know that you're okay, that you won't give in. Please, promise me."

"Okay, okay. I promise."

"Say it."

"I promise that I'll stay awake as long as I can."

"Alright. Good. So how about we try to get home?" Logan asked, with a small smile, previous seriousness forgotten.

"It sounds like a plan to me," Carlos replied, returning the smile. He stood straight up, pushed himself off the tree to stand unsupported. While he still felt wobbly on his two feet, he was proud at the mere fact that he could stand up at all. He was even able to take a few steps leaning on Logan for balance. The pain in his head had lessened since when he first stood up and now he just concentrated on not collapsing to the ground in a heap.

As Logan helped Carlos get settled on his feet, Kendall returned to his friends, satisfied that they were finally ready to start their plan.

"Alright, guys, so I took a few more stuff to go with us and I managed to securely hide the other bags until help comes to get us. Other than that, I think we are ready to go," Kendall said, looking around at the eager faces of his friends. James's facial expression seemed to soften the moment he mastered walking with crutches. While before he wore a scowl at the idea of leaving the crash site, now he seemed to have an air of confidence that he could make it, and he seemed the most eager to begin their adventure through the snow. Kendall had expected to see a look of fear in Carlos's face, but instead he found a look of courage. Even though his face was much paler than usual, he wore the same look he had when he decided to help James when he was stuck in the car. He looked as if he were fighting an inner battle with himself, however, the fire in his eye showed it was a fight he intended to win. Logan stood tall beside Carlos, his face

"Yep, we're ready," Kendall added, as he reached down to grab the duffel bag of crucial supplies.

"Wait!" Logan exclaimed, as he sets Carlos to stand by a nearby tree.

"What? What is it?"

"I'll take the duffel bag," he answered, leaning to grab the bag from Kendall's hand.

"Logan, I thought we settled this already. I don't want you carrying anything to heavy. You will hurt -"

"Kendall, Carlos needs someone to walk with him. Someone he can lean on for balance and I can't do that and navigate us through the snow at the same time. I need you to do that, so I will take the duffel bag," Logan replied matter of factly. Kendall stole a quick glance at Carlos's direction and once he saw the way that he leaned on the tree with such desperation, he knew Logan was right. He hated when was right.

"Fine, but -"

"Honestly, Kendall, it's not even that heavy. I can carry this." Logan replied, however, he could see his worried friend was not satisfied by his response. "But, yea, fine. I'll let you know when I need a break or if I start to feel some pain."

"Good," Kendall said, releasing his hold on the duffel bag and allowing Logan to place it on his arm. He watched him closely for any grimace of pain, but Logan looked as if he were carrying a bag of feathers. Satisfied, he made his way over to Carlos.

"Looks like you're my walking buddy."

"How did you get so lucky?" Carlos responded, with a smirk.

Kendall smiled, happy at the fact that though they were in the middle of a snowstorm, stuck in the middle of nowhere, and prepared to walk miles in the snow, Carlos was still Carlos.

"Ok, guys. We really need to get moving if we want to make it to those cabins before nightfall," Logan said, staring at the crash site one last time. He didn't know James was beside him until he felt his hand on his shoulder. Turning to look at his friend, the message in his eyes were clear: It wasn't your fault. Logan nodded slowly, a quickly turned from the remains of the car, clearing his throat as he walked away.

"Alright, Logie lead the way."

With compass in hand, his three best friends following close behind him, Logan began their journey through the storm toward safety, fueled by a promise he had ever intention of keeping. I'm going to get us home guys, he thought. Even if it's the last thing I do.

Author's Note #2: Again, I sincerely apology for the extreme delay. I do not want to be one of those writers that take months to update. I will definitely try my best to make sure it doesn't happen again! By the way, chapter 9 is pretty much finished, just going through editing as we speak and the outline to chapter 10 is already being constructed. So, I hope to have the next chapter up, much earlier than usual, depending on the response from this chapter. Oh and thank you for all the reviews, alerts, favorites, and follows. You all are truly the best.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Well, my amazing readers. Here's the next chapter filled with bromantic moments with just the right touch of angst. Again, I apologize for the wait. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 9 - A Single Soul in Four Bodies

James had known this would be difficult the moment he agreed to this crazy plan. Walking through a snowstorm was not an easy task with two working legs. Throw a sprained ankle and large leg wound into the equation, the difficult task became a nearly insurmountable obstacle. The crutches helped, reminding him to keep the weight off his leg and made walking through the snow at least bearable. However, his breathing was becoming heavy and his muscles were feeling strained as he struggled to keep himself upright and mobile. There were a couple of close calls where he knew for sure that he would fall flat on his face, but thankfully, the crutches did their job and held him erect. He began a mental song in his head, a rhythmic pattern to his movements that reminded him of how to move through the snow. Right foot. Crutches. Hop. Right foot. Crutches. Hop. Right foot. Crutches. H-

Just as he attempted to put his weight on his good leg and take a step forward, his crutches shifted underneath him and his body went off balance. Certain he would fall, James closed his eyes, awaiting the cold hard ground he was sure would slam against his face. However, a strong hand extended in front of him, stopping him before he fell forward. James leaned into the embrace, allowing the arms to stabilize his body until he felt sure enough of his balance to stand up straight. Releasing a huge sigh of relief, James stared into the eyes of the person who had saved him a face full of snow. He was not surprised to see Logan's smiling face staring back at him.

"Close call, buddy," Logan said, his hand still cradling James' elbow as he positioned the crutches properly underneath his friend's arms. He slowly released his hold as soon as he saw that James was sturdy and standing up tall.

"Thanks, Loges," James replied; he couldn't help returning Logan's smile. However, the smile quickly left his face as he felt a sting of pain travel down his leg and he couldn't help the moan of pain that escaped his lips.

"You feeling some pain?" Logan asked concerned as he too stop smiling at the sound.

"A little," James replied, sheepishly.

"James! Why didn't you say anything before?" Logan stopped his progress as he opened the duffel bag he carried in search of the pain relievers he gave Carlos early. Finding the coveted small bottle, he quickly gave James two pills and the bottle. "Here. Take these. They will help ease the pain a little bit. I wish I had something stronger."

"It's okay. The pain is not that bad anyway," James lied as he quickly gulped down the pills as ordered. He could see that Logan didn't believe him, so before he had a chance to question him further, James continued, "This is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought."

Absentmindedly, Logan agreed, "Yea, I know what you mean."

However, his comment had nothing to do with the difficulty that James had with the crutches. He had been talking about their trek through the snow. Though he wouldn't admit it to his friends, their progress to the log cabins ahead was not going as well as he would have hoped. For one, the unpredictable rate of the free falling snow as well as the piling snow on the ground made their movements difficult. One minute, the snow was flying through the air like they were stuck in a snow globe that was just shook and the next, the snow fell scarcely. This caused their pace to sporadic and inconsistent, while they all tried to be sure footed and cautious of hidden sheets of ice under the snow covered ground. Second, the freezing wind had picked up with the snowfall and was biting against their exposed skin; the extra layers of clothing seeming futile against the below freezing conditions they were walking through.

And then there were the conditions of his friends he had to account for. While James's leg injury was impeding their progress, causing them to go slower than they would in normal circumstances, they were still going much slower than Logan had originally calculated. Carlos and Kendall trailed behind, and Logan could tell the activity was a lot for Carlos to handle as well. Carlos leaned heavily on Kendall, his arm draped securely around Kendall's shoulder. While he was able to maintain his balance, taking steps on his own, there was no denying that he needed Kendall's presence for support, his legs dragging from time to time. Logan cringed inwardly at the sight, imagining the pressure the movement put on Kendall's shoulder and the resulting pain. However, Kendall's face remained passive, free of any pain or discomfort, a look of pure determination on his face instead. He whispered words of encouragement to Carlos, helping him to push forward.

Sensing Logan's gaze, Kendall looked up to stare into his friend's eyes. Words did not need to be exchanged between the two; they both shared the same thoughts.

They hadn't been walking for long, but Kendall had already begun to doubt his decision. They weren't moving as quickly as he had hoped and it was no secret that walking was its toll on both Carlos and James, who were both visibly fatigued by the activity. A light sheen of sweat could be seen on James's forehead as he continued to master moving around with the crutches and Carlos continued to lean on him for support. He tried not to notice James' heavy breathing from overexertion or the feeling of heaviness on his left side as Carlos placed more and more of his weight on Kendall to keep himself upright. Even Logan looked a little winded from the activity. But, he couldn't let those thoughts consume his mind, fearful of the guilt that would overcome him at the possibility of choosing a poor plan.

It had seemed so full proof before; finding shelter was the most logical idea. There was no way they would have been able to withstand camping in the middle of a snowstorm in their conditions. However, he had not taken into account how the consequence of his decision would affect the well being of his already injured friends. He didn't think that it would be this difficult and now, seeing his friends' weakened states, he began to question his plan and whether he had decided the right course of action to help them. The feeling of doubt was slowly creeping up on him.

And then he remembered the driver of the van, his dead body forgotten in the stuck van piling up with snow on the deserted roadside. He remembered the look of pure horror and shock on Logan's face at the sight, and looked back on the words - the promise he made to his friend. He knew he couldn't let his friend endure a similar fate as the unfortunate driver and he swore to his best friend that they would be okay. This is the only to keep that promise, Kendall thought. There was no way we would have survived. We would have frozen to death if we stayed out in the cold. Finding shelter is the only way we can survive this.

With those thoughts going through his mind to reassure his decision, he continued offering his words of encouragement to Carlos, who leaned heavily on him for support, not just physically, but emotionally as well. "You're doing great, Carlos," Kendall whispered, as they made their way through a difficult patch of snow.

Carlos merely grunted in response; he doubted he could say anything in between his deeps pants of fatigue. He was tired. His head was throbbing, he still had trouble forming coherent thoughts, and the movement caused the nausea to come back every now and then. He wanted to rest; he wanted so badly to sleep. But he couldn't quit, he couldn't give into the approaching darkness that he felt slowly creep upon him. He promised Logan he would keep fighting, he intended to keep that promise as long as he could. Therefore, he continued to trudge along, fighting through the fogginess, struggling to stay on his feet, but doing whatever he had to do to keep the looming pull of unconsciousness at bay. However, he desperately hoped they were getting closer to their destination, because he didn't know how long his resolve would hold.

"Are we there yet?" Carlos said, in a voice that was so childlike, it was comical, like a little kid asking their parents about their final destination. Logan couldn't help the small smile that tickled his features.

"Uhhh, not yet, buddy, but we're making good progress. We should be there before you know it," Logan replied, looking at the map to give false hope to a not so truthful statement.

"You're a horrible liar, Loges. But, it's okay."

"I still resent that by the way. But, seriously, guys, we still have a couple of hours of reliable sunlight left. Yea, I know the snow is picking up again, and the wind is brutal right now. But, like I said, we're moving well. We'll make it to the cabins in no time."

"You know what? We need something to take our minds off this stupid snowstorm," Kendall responded, hoping to add to Logan's attempt at improving the mood within the group. He remembered the way, earlier into their journey, while they were driving in the car. Similar to now, the tension was running high, each lost in their own misery as they struggled to overcome yet another obstacle keeping them from getting home. As they did before, they needed to concentrate on something concrete and tangible to get them through this situation. They relied on their friendship then and they needed to rely on it once again to endure the trek through the snow.

"And, what would that be?" James asked, skeptically. With the snow falling in front of his face and the snow piling at his feet, he realized there were few things that could take his mind off of the fact that he was walking in the middle of a blizzard.

"Uhh... I don't know... Maybe -"

"Ooo, I know," Carlos cut in, raising his hand as if he meant to grab the attention of a teacher. "We should play a game."

"A game?" Logan asked, puzzled. He doubted many of them were in the mood to play any games.

"Yea, games always help me feel better and, ooo, I know the perfect game. I spy!"

"Carlos, buddy, I don't think there are a lot of things for us to use in the game," Kendall replied.

"Yes, there is. I'll go first. I spy with my little eye something white!"

"Oh, lemme guess," James answered, his voice uninterested. "Is it the snow?"

"Yes! You're good at this game, James. How did you figure it out so quickly?"

"Hmmm, maybe it's the fact that everything around here is white and covered with snow, which makes this stupid game pointless."

"James!" Kendall scolded, trying to diffuse the tense situation that was starting to erupt between his friends. This was what he had been hoping to avoid when he suggested to take his friends' mind off of the snowstorm. He could tell James was getting frustrated by the crutches and there was no denying that Carlos was reverting back to his childlike mannerisms as a security blanket to the unknown dangers they would face.

James seemed to realize his statement had been too harsh toward Carlos. He had been redirecting his anger at the situation to his friend, and he hadn't meant to sound so cruel. Carlos's intentions were pure and innocent; he didn't deserve James's cold tone.

"Ah, man, I'm sorry Carlos. I didn't mean to be so mean. It's just that... "

"That game isn't that great of a game to play right now," Logan interjected, helping James who seemed to be struggling with the right words to say. "We should play another game. How about Truth or Dare? That's one of your favorites."

"Yea, it is. Okay," Carlos replied, his previous look of sadness gone and the words had worked to produce a small smile on his face.

"Wait," Kendall said, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news. "I don't think any of us are in the condition to do any dares, Logan. And, this is not the best environment either."

"You do have a point. Fine, we'll just play Truth or Truth," Logan replied, hoping that the game would still be enough to take his friends mind off the snow. "Since this your favorite game, you're first, Carlos."

Logan pondered on a good question for a brief second before a thought came to mind. Turning to Carlos, he said, "Tell me your favorite memory." He could tell that Carlos was confused by the question, but with the head injury he sustained, Logan wanted to assess for any lasting brain trauma and the best way to figure that out was to find out about Carlos's long term memory. There truly was a method to his madness.

Carlos was without a doubt puzzled by Logan's words. There could have been deep dark secrets that Logan could have wanted to find out, but instead he was interested in knowing what Carlos's favorite memory was. However, thinking nothing more of the strange statement, he answered.

"That's easy. It was in sixth grade. It was when I realized that we were going to be best friends forever."

"What? You knew we would be best friends forever in sixth grade? How did you know that?" Kendall asked, incredulously, as he shifted Carlos's weight away from a rough patch of snow. It went unnoticed by Carlos, who kept walking as he was lost in his thoughts.

"Yea, it was so clear. I mean, we were always there for each other, for everything. Kendall was there whenever we needed some protection, Logan whenever we needed help with homework, James whenever someone needed hair care products, and I was there whenever someone needed to laugh. We just always had each other. But, that there was one time, when all I needed was a friend and I found it in each of you. You guys, don't remember that day in the sixth grade?"

By the blank stares he received from his friends and the way they stopped in their tracks to stare at him, he could tell that his friends did not remember a crucial moment in their friendship.

"And here, I thought I was the one with the foggy memory," he joked, before he urged his friends to continue while he recounted his memory. "It was just an ordinary day. Class had let out and I asked you guys if any of you were free to come over and play my new video game. You guys, all had plans. Kendall was going to a hockey game with his uncle. Logan had plans to go to a museum for some kind of an exhibit he'd been waiting to see, and James was going to spend a day with his mom, who had taken a day off for the first time in months. So, I went up to play with my little brothers.

"Everything was going okay, until my mom got a phone call. And then I heard her screaming. It was the hospital; my dad was shot while on the job and it didn't look good. It was the worst news I had ever gotten. My mom left me and my little brothers with my aunt but it was so scary. I was trying to be strong for them, but once they went to sleep, I was alone again and all I could do was cry. I had been so strong for them, that I had no one to be there for me. I felt so alone. And then, I heard a knock on the door, and when I opened it, I saw the three bestest friends anyone could have ever asked for."

"I remember that day," Logan whispered, as he guided the group down a slight slope. "My mom and I were half way to the museum when we heard the news."

"Yea, Kendall's mom called my mom. She asked if I wanted to cancel our plans," James added.

"Once my mom got the news, I called my uncle and said I couldn't go to the game," Kendall replied. "I told him there was somewhere that I needed to be."

"You guys ditched your plans to be there for me. You stayed with me. We didn't talk much; you guys just comforted me until my dad got out of surgery and I found out he was going to be okay. You guys, even slept over. I couldn't believe I had friends that cared about me that much to stay with me through the whole night. That was when I knew; you guys would always be my best friends."

The remaining three friends remained silent as Carlos finished his retelling his memory, each allowing the meaning of the memory to sink in. It wasn't until Carlos cleared his throat did any one respond.

"Wow, I can't believe I forgot that day. That really is a great memory. No wonder it's one of you're favorites, Carlitos," James said, his mind going back to his earlier conversation with Carlos. There was no denying that their friendship was deep and true. He doubted any of their answers could top what Carlos just shared, but the game must go on. So, James continued, "Who's next? Hmmm, Kendall! It's your turn, Kendall. Let me think of a good one. Oh, what's your greatest fear?"

Before Kendall had a chance to open his mouth to answer, Carlos interjected, "Ha! Kendall's fearless. He isn't afraid of anything. Well, except for clowns and spiders."

"Carlos!"

"Oh, right, I wasn't supposed to say anything about the clowns."

As Logan and James laughed at the new information they learned about their best friend, Kendall quickly went to work to do some damage control and cleared his throat to gain his friends attention.

"Anyway, Carlos is wrong. I'm not fearless. And for the record, if any of you guys had seen that movie with the psychotic clown, you guys would hate clowns too!" Kendall exclaimed, as he shuddered at the menacing image his mind produced. He shook his head to rid himself of the memory and continued. "And those two things don't even compare to what I am most afraid of. I actually didn't know what it was until today."

"What? Snowstorms? Gray vans?"

"No, Carlos, none of those either," Kendall answered with a ghost of a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Logan could sense the seriousness in Kendall's words and could feel that the conversation was taking another serious tone. "Well, Kendall, I'm interested. What are you most of afraid of?"

"When I was younger, I had a whole collection of Winnie the Pooh books. My mom used to read them to me every night when I was growing up and when my mom and dad used to argue, I would read them to Katie to take her mind off all the drama in the house. There was this one line in one of the books that always interested me. It was something Pooh said to Christopher Robin. He said, 'If you live to 100 years old, I hope to live 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.' When I was a little kid, I thought that was stupid. I wanted to live until I was 100 years old; heck, I wanted to live forever. It wasn't until today I realized what those words truly meant.

"I don't want to spend a single day without you guys and the thought of ever having to scares me so much. There have been so many close calls, so many times that I thought I lost you guys, and I just realized how much you guys mean to me. The suffocating fear, the chest tightening anxiety of a life where any of you were not living - I just couldn't imagine that life, I don't think I would want to live in that life. So, yea, I am scared of losing you; my greatest fear is living a life without you guys."

Kendall blinked his eyes several times to trap the moisture that suddenly appeared and cleared his throat to relieve the cracking in his voice as he finished his answer. He could see that just as he did with Carlos, his friends were absorbing his words, analyzing what he meant. But, their silence was slowly unnerving him. Kendall wasn't one to be so open about his feelings, and telling his three best friends about how much they meant to him was pretty difficult. He tried to change the subject, produce some words or a new topic so the attention was no longer on him. He was about to comment to Logan about his turn in the game when Logan responded.

"Well, I can't make any promises about the distant future, but I can tell you this, buddy, you are not going to have to face that fear anytime soon."

He had stopped walking and stared into Kendall's eyes so that Kendall could see that his eyes held the same conviction he had hoped his words had conveyed. The small smile that he got in return told Logan that his message was received. Logan's statement had worked to ease the seriousness the conversation had adopted and they immediately resumed the game.

"Ok, Logan, it's your turn," Carlos said. "How about you tell us what your greatest accomplishment is? What are you most proud of?"

Logan was surprised that Carlos had come up with a question like that. He had been prepared for something a little easier to answer, a question which response would come readily. He had to admit his momentarily stumped by the question. He mentally ran down the list of academic awards, certificates, and acknowledgements, each sounding less and less important as the list grew longer. He considered the achievement of Big Time Rush's success and the fact that he was apart of that, but even that didn't seem like it was something that would so proud of.

"You guys are probably going to be surprised. What I'm most proud of has nothing to do with my near perfect PSAT scores, or the fact that I'm on the Top 100 Future Doctors of Tomorrow list. And while I'm grateful for the success of Big Time Rush, I wouldn't consider that my greatest accomplishment so far either. I'd have to say that I am most proud of just being your friend."

"What?"

"Seriously?"

"Come on, Loges."

"Hey, listen to me first. You'll better understand what I mean," Logan replied, silencing his friends' protests. "Well, growing up, I didn't have much friends. I was overly shy and just plain awkward when it came to social situations. Basically, I was an outcast, the nerd that was picked on repeatedly by bullies. The cuts and bruises were annoying, but it became such a routine that I became used to it. And I was okay with that. I had my books to keep me company and that was the way I liked it; at least they didn't push me into garbage cans. By the time I was eight, I had already accepted the fact that I would have no friends. But then, my mom moved us to Minnesota.

"For awhile, nothing had changed. I was in a new school and I was no one in a sea of people. Just like before, I was the nerdy short kid who was bullied daily. It wasn't an ideal childhood, but it was the hand I was dealt so I embraced it. It wasn't until a tall kid with blond hair came to help me one day in the fourth grade when I was cornered by a group of bullies that I realized there was more to life. The way he stood up against them, so fearless and determined to help me; it opened my eyes to the fact that I wasn't alone. And then the weirdest thing happened. Not only did he help me, he actually wanted to be my friend. Sure enough, two other boys decided they wanted to be friends with me too; a kid with a blue helmet -

"Oh, I remember that helmet! It was my blue Power Rangers helmet. I loved that thing."

"- and a boy who combed his hair more than my mom."

"Hey, you don't just wake up with perfect hair like mine. It takes proper conditioning."

"After that day, I became complete. Books were just a cheap imitation for the life I was destined to live. I was meant to meet you guys. I was supposed to be your friend. And I am thankful and so proud that I can call you guys my friend."

"Well, Logan, no thank yous are necessary. We consider it a pleasure to be your friends," Carlos said, and which was immediately backed by sounds of approval by Kendall and James.

"Last, but not least. James, you're up. Hmmm, what's your biggest regret?" Kendall asked.

James was silent as he thought of an appropriate response to that question. An answer came to mind as soon as he heard the question but he struggled on how to form the words in a coherent thought. He was sure his friends would not fully understand what he meant when he finally revealed the thoughts that had been recently troubling him. He looked towards his friends, and while they continued to move through the snow, their gazes found his as they waited patiently for him to respond. Releasing a deep sigh, James realized he couldn't keep his thoughts bottled in much longer.

"My biggest regret," James whispered, tearing his eyes away from his friends and gluing them to the snow covered ground in shame. "My biggest regret is not being a better friend to you guys."

"What?!"

The sound of a disagreement filled the once silent wooded area as each friend tried to make sense of what James just said; however, it just became a jumbled mess of one person talking over the other, forcing Kendall to play mediator.

"Guys, hold on. Let's give James a chance to explain," Kendall said to Carlos and Logan before turning to James as he continued, "So, James, explain because I know I speak for the others when I say we're all confused about what you said. How could you possibly think that you haven't been a good enough friend to us? You are our best friend."

James continued to look down in shame, his voice barely louder than a whisper when he responded, "You wouldn't understand."

"Make us," Logan replied. "Make us understand, buddy, because we're lost. You can't just drop a bomb like that and expect us to forget about it. Now, come on. Tell us what you meant."

"Hearing what you all said so far about our friendship and seeing what we've all been through in past few hours, I just realized that I haven't been that good a friend to you, guys."

"James, that's not true."

"Yes, it is!" James shouted. "Logan, I kissed your girlfriend. That's one thing a best friend should never do."

"James, I've already forgiven you for - "

"Carlos, I lied to you all those years about the girl from the camp. Who knows what could have happened if I had given her that letter. Maybe, you would finally have a girlfriend."

"James, that doesn't matter any-"

"And Kendall, there have been so many times that you were going through a crisis and I just left hanging, only interested in myself. There's no denying the fact that I'm selfish, self absorbed, and shallow, qualities that make me a horrible best friend. Sometimes, I wonder why you guys are even friends with -"

"James! That's enough. In all the years, I've known you, I have never doubted our friendship. And yes, you maybe all those things, but your best qualities are that you never forget when its time to put your friends first, you always look out for a friend in need, and you have our backs whenever we get caught from one of our many plans."

"Yea, James," Logan added, "I mean, you helped me with Camille by dressing up as a horse."

"And don't forget about all the help you've given me when it comes to dating," Carlos piped up.

"You see, you are a great friend. And we have never doubted that fact. So don't you."

"What you guys have said truly means a lot to me. I learned a lot about true friendship today," James said. He paused momentarily and stopped his progress, causing the others to stop as well. He looked to his friends once again, finally able to face them, and remembered how each of them opened his eyes to truth. Carlos, with his daring act at saving his life; Kendall, who openly expressed his fear at losing any of his friends; and Logan, who explained how his proudest moment in life is being considered one of his friends. "I promise you guys, I will always be your friend. Logan, I'll give you all the dating tips you need. Carlos, I will get one of the Jennifers to be your girlfriend. And Kendall, I will listen to any and all of your girlfriend problems."

Kendall couldn't help the smile that appeared at James's words, but he knew James had meant every word.

"Well, we're definitely going to hold you to that promise," he said, jokingly, and was glad to see the smile return to James's face.

"Wow, Kendall, your plan worked," Logan said, as he admired the map. "The game took our mind off the walking and we were able to make great progress through the snow."

"Are we there yet?" Carlos asked again, hopefully.

"Not yet, buddy, but we're really close. All we have to do is hike over that small hill over there and the cabins should be right on top."

"That's great!"

"I figure it should be another 30 minutes tops, which is good because if we're lucky, we should have about an hour left of sun," Logan continued, as he eyed the lowering sun in the horizon.

"So, what are we waiting for? Let's move!" James said, taking the helm of the group as they made their way toward the hill.

"Wait!" Logan shouted, starling everyone with his tone of urgency.

"What? What is it, Loges?"

"James, your leg."

At the statement, James looked down at his covered leg. The articles of clothing Kendall had used to protect the leg from the cold air hung haphazardly around his leg. James had thought at first, Logan was alerting him to be mindful of the loose material near his feet, but then he noticed the blood that stained the clothes.

"Dammit."

"Your leg is still bleeding, James. I'm going to have to reinforce the dressing."

"Now? Can't it wait until we reach the cabins?"

"And risk the chance of you bleeding out? Hell, no," Logan replied, taking the first aid kit out of the duffel bag. "Go take a seat on that boulder of there."

James begrudgingly made his way to the rock that Logan pointed. Logan pretended not hear the comments his friend made about this being a waste of time.

"You guys should take a seat and rest, too. We've been walking around for while," he added referring to Carlos and Kendall. He pointed to the duffel. "Take some water and refuel."

"Honestly, Logan, it's not that serious," James said, still trying to get them to continue on their journey to the cabins. "I'm sure that the dressing will hold on until we reach the cabins. We don't have to waste ti-"

"James, quiet! This will only take a few minutes," Logan cut in as he kneeled down in front of James's leg and unwrapped the layers of clothes that covered the wound. He swore under his breath when he noticed the saturated bandages around his leg. His leg was still bleeding heavily. He would have to apply a new pressure dressing on it to stop the flow of blood, but that required time and light and they didn't have a lot of either at this moment. He would only be able to secure another layer of bandages around the leg tightly to contain the bleeding for now.

"Man, I can't believe such a thin cut on my leg could cause this much blood. You think there will be a scar?" James asked, as he watched Logan pull off the blood soaked clothing that had previously kept his leg protected..

"Probably from the stitches, but it shouldn't be too big."

"Great!"

"Great? Wait, you want a scar?"

"What can I say? Kendall's right. Girls really do dig scars," James replied. "Hmmm, I wonder what my scar story should be. Oh, maybe I could say I got it wrestling a bear?"

Logan couldn't help the laugh that escaped his mouth, but couldn't crush his friend's dream. He nodded his head in agreement. "You know what? I think the ladies would love to hear that story, buddy. Why don't you figure out how to tell that story while I finish up with your leg?"

James didn't even offer a reply. His mind was already racing coming up with situations and scenarios. Logan merely nodded his head as turned his attention to the actual dressing on the leg. He had been able to take off the layers of clothing and now concentrated on the blood soaked gauze. Fearing his manipulation of the dressing would irritate and pain James, he gave his friend a slight warning, "Alright, buddy, this might hurt a little bit."

"Really? I don't feel any thing…"

Logan stopped his actions at those words and dreaded the answer to the question he knew he had to ask, "You have feeling in your leg, don't you? You can feel me touch your legs and can wiggle your toes, right?"

Concentrating as hard as he could, James stared at his toes and willed the digits to move. Ever so slightly, they moved to the delight of both James and Logan.

"Thank God," James sighed. "I didn't think I'd be able to do that. I'll admit it, I do have less feeling in my leg. It's more numb, but I don't know. I just thought that it was from the cold."

Logan tried to hide the fear that he felt at James's admission. While his suggestion made sense with his leg being exposed to the harsh elements, Logan had troubling believing if that was the real cause for James's leg. He was more worried that the lack of feeling was related to blood loss or worse, nerve damage. Nevertheless, he hid his concerns and continued with his previous plan of tightening another layer of gauze over the leg.

"Don't worry. Once we get to the cabins, I'll be able to take a better look at it," Logan replied, hoping the lie didn't sound too false leaving his lips. He turned toward the first aid kit to grab the bandage. "Let me just finish wrapping your -"

Logan stopped mid sentence as a sharp pain tore through the right side of chest. He quickly grabbed at the tender area, and used his other arm to keep himself up as he was sure he would collapse to the ground in pain. The sharp hiss and groan of agony had already escaped his mouth as the movement aggravated his broken ribs before he had a chance to contain them.

"Logan!" James screamed beside him, leaning over to give Logan extra support.

"I-I'm... I'm okay," Logan replied, as he slowed his breathing and waited until the wave of pain passed. "I guess I moved too fast."

James eyed him suspiciously, seeing the look of anguish on his friend face, he knew he was lying. "Lies. You are not okay. You're in pain. I can see it all over your face. Now, tell me, what's wrong?"

"Honestly, James, it's nothing. Just -"

"Kendall, told me! Kendall, told me about your broken ribs. That's what hurts isn't it?"

Logan turned to give Kendall a dirty look, but he couldn't quite catch his friend's eye as Kendall tried to get Carlos to drink some water. Turning back to face James, he sighed unable to keep his injury a secret much longer.

"Yes, it's my ribs. A few of them are broken and they are quite painful. But, I'm fine," Logan answered, his shoulders relaxing as if a weight had been lifted from them. However, James didn't seem to happy at his response.

"You're in pain?" James asked and, without waiting for Logan to respond, quickly continued, "Then take some of those pain relievers, too." He leaned forward to grab the duffel bag, fished out the medication bottle and pushed it to Logan to take.

But, Logan shook his head in denial, taking the bottle and putting it back into the bag. "Honestly, James, it's okay. I'm okay. It only hurts when I move a certain way," he replied. While that fact was true, Logan didn't dare disclose the real reason of his hesitancy at taking the medication. James didn't need to know that even though Logan was in pain, he didn't want to risk depressing his respiratory system, which the pain relievers would do. With a punctured lung, he couldn't compromise his breathe.

"So, it's not serious?" James asked.

The question hung in the air for a few seconds while Logan came up with a good answer. He busied himself with wrapping James leg with the bandage, keeping his hands occupied as his mind raced to find a proper response. It wasn't until James hand came in contact with his did he finally look up to see his friend's waiting gaze.

"Logan..."

"No," Logan choked out. "No, it's not serious. I'm okay, really, James. You don't have to worry."

"But, I want to. Don't you understand that?" James shot back. "Logan, you've been taking care of us, you've been running yourself ragged making sure that everyone else is okay, but no one's been making sure that you are okay. So let me do that. Let me worry about you. Please."

Logan was shocked by statement and could only nod his head and whisper a soft, "Ok." He wanted to say more but he cut off by Kendall calling his name.

At Logan's suggestion, Kendall set Carlos gently on a rock and sat beside him as they caught their breaths and waited for Logan to tend James's leg. He could tell Logan was concerned about the heavy bleeding; it was the only reason he would stop them when they were so close to the cabins. And the fact that Logan was concerned, made him concerned. However, he had his only worries to be concerned about as he eyed Carlos, warily.

Though Carlos sat on his own accord, he leaned heavily on a tree beside him to keep himself up. His face seemed to have lost another shade of color and was void of any emotion. If his eyes were not open, Kendall would have sworn he had fallen asleep.

"Hey, buddy. We're almost to the cabins alright? Just gotta bear with me for a few more minutes. You think you can do it?"

"I have to. I can't break my promise," Carlos answered softly.

Kendall stared at Carlos, puzzled unsure of what promise Carlos was talking about. He was about to question him further, but Carlos cut him off with another statement.

"I used to love winter snowstorms. In Minnesota, they meant no school, a day to play with your friends in the snow, and a frozen pond for hockey. There snowstorms are nice. I don't like snowstorms here. The snow here is wet, and cold, and dangerous. I don't like that."

"I don't like that either, buddy. But, hey, how about next time we go on a ski trip, we go back to Minnesota? To the ski lodge we went to in sophomore year, the one with the snow tubing? You'd like that right?" Kendall asked, as he opened a bottle water and offered it to Carlos, who accepted it and took a small sip.

"Yea, I would," Carlos smiled, handing the bottle back to Kendall.

"You're going to have to drink a little bit more. With the way your sweating, you have to stay hydrated," Kendall replied, pushing the bottle back to Carlos. But Carlos shook his head in refusal.

"I don't want anymore. I'm afraid I'll throw it right back up."

"Just a little bit. For me."

"Fine," Carlos sighed, succumbing to Kendall's wishes as he took a large gulp of water. He had to force it down his throat and fight through a wave of nausea that threatened to overcome him, but fortunately, the water managed to stay down. "Happy now?"

"Very," Kendall replied with a smile, as he took the bottle and took a big gulp himself.

"We're going to be okay, right, Kendall?" Carlos asked, his voice small and childlike once again.

"Of course, we are. We're going to be just fine. Once we get to the cabins, we'll probably be able to call for help. And then, we'll be back home before you know it," Kendall answered, hoping his voice held the conviction he himself was struggling to believe.

"I want to go home now."

"Soon, buddy. Soon."

"You think I'll be able to sleep when we get to the cabins?"

"We'll have to run in by Logan first."

"I hope so. 'M so t'red," Carlos slurred, stopping Kendall in his tracks.

"What did you say, Carlos?"

"I s'd 'm t'red," Carlos repeated, his words barely comprehensibly as he continued to slur his speech.

"Shit," Kendall whispered before raising his voice to call, "Logan! I need you over here for a minute."

Before he could finish his sentence, Logan was by his side.

"What's wrong? Is everything okay?" he asked, worriedly.

"Carlos, buddy, tell Logan what you just told me."

"I s'd 'I h'pe I c'n go t' sl'p cuz 'm t'red," Carlos slurred once again, this time using as much concentration as he could to form the words properly but to no avail. He looked up to Logan with fearful eyes.

Logan said nothing at first. He just pulled out the penlight and pointed it into Carlos's eyes. Though his face remained impassive, a small flash of worry passed through his features, telling Kendall he saw something that he didn't like in his examination. Before he could question Logan further however, Logan spoke up.

"You're going to be okay, buddy. We're just going to have to closely monitor every so often, but you're going to be alright," Logan said, addressing Carlos, hoping to ease his fear. But the scared look remained. "You trust me, don't you Carlitos?"

Carlos, not trusting himself to form the proper word in response, gave his head the slightest movement in agreement.

"Good, because I made you a promise and I intend to keep it," Logan replied with a wink. He was glad to see a smile small pull at Carlos's lips. "Alright, rest time is over. Time for us to move."

Logan stood and quickly packed the materials he used back into the duffel bag. He didn't notice Kendall behind him until he spoke up.

"How bad is it?"

"Kendall..." Logan whispered, not wanting their conversation to be heard by Carlos, who Kendall left sitting a few yards away.

"Logan, tell me. Please, I need to know."

Logan sighed, before he replied, "The slurred speech isn't good. It's usually a sign that there is some kind of swelling in the brain."

"Shit."

"But, I wasn't lying when I said he was going to be okay. Look, he's awake. He's still moving. All we have to do is get to the cabins and call for help. Once they find out how serious our conditions are, they'll send help immediately."

Kendall wasn't very convinced; he didn't share in Logan's optimism. Carlos had a swelling in his brain. James's leg won't stop bleeding. His shoulder was getting more numb as the minutes passed. And Logan looked even more pale and tired then he did before they started this trek. All in all, Kendall agreed with Logan about one thing: there was no denying their conditions were serious. But, a sickening thought came to mind as he asked himself, 'Could this day get any worse?'

Little did he know he was about to find out.

Author's Note #2: Oooo, that sounded ominous. Anyway, thanks for reading and sticking with me. I appreciate all the love. Still to come: Logan's injuries come back to bite him in the butt and some major heroics from James and Carlos.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note #1: My deepest apologies for the long wait. I'm so sorry for taking so long in posting this chapter. I blame work... and life... and summer vacation. I hope you all accept this angst filled chapter as testament of my apology. Enjoy my lovely readers.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 10 - Losing a Diamond While Collecting Stones

Carlos was freaked. Not being able to speak clearly, not being able to trust his own voice to communicate freaked him out. But, it was also the fact that he felt his friends were hiding something from him that troubled him. Their pace had quickened considerably since they had first started walking and he could sense their urgency to move quickly. There seemed to be an unsaid necessity among them to get to the cabins as soon as possible and he couldn't help but think their change in behavior was because of him. While before they had been able to talk to each other and joke around, a sense of seriousness had fallen on the group of friends in a matter of minutes and it made Carlos uneasy. He wanted so much to go back to when they were playing Truth or Truth; it had taken his mind off of being so scared about the accident and all the unknown dangers they were about to face. But, instead he was forced to walk, carrying his fearful thoughts in silence as his feet guided him to their last hope for rescue.

Fortunately, he was able to walk on his own, no longer needing to rely on Kendall for support. He was determined to walk on his accord, even if Kendall wasn't ready to let him do so. Kendall remained close by his side, a protective arm placed on his back, just in case he needed any assistance. Though it was annoying, Carlos knew Kendall couldn't help it. It was just in his nature.

"You still feeling okay, buddy?" Kendall asked as if he could hear Carlos's thoughts. Just like when he asked two minutes ago, Carlos gave a slight nod of his head in affirmation.

Kendall knew he was being a little overbearing. Okay, maybe a lot overbearing. But, he had just been told his best friend with a bad concussion possibly had swelling in the brain and could probably keel over any second. That was a good reason for him to be overprotective of Carlos and eager to ensure that he was okay. He was happy to see Carlos walk on his own two feet, glad to see that his steps had become more sturdy and reliable since their respite. But he doubted this surge of energy would last very long; sooner or later, Carlos would get tired and need some one to lean on. So Kendall stayed close behind, no more than an arm length away, making sure that he was beside Carlos when that time came. Looking forward at James's and Logan's retreating figures, Kendall just hoped that they reached the cabins by then.

"So, L-L-Loges, remember - remember when you - you said that all w-we had to do was - was climb over this small hill?" James asked Logan, as he struggled through the uphill climb. He found it difficult to position the branches in a secure position when he needed to move forward due to the slant in the terrain. "It's not as easy as you made it seem, buddy."

"Yea, I'm starting to realize that it's a little steeper than I thought. But, we're almost there, guys," Logan said, through deep pants of quickened pace was beginning to take its toll on him as well. Absentmindedly, he placed his hand on his side and was grateful to note that the dressing on his side remained clean, thankful, his weakened state was not due to blood loss. If he were honest with himself, he already knew what was going on. It was getting harder and harder for him to catch his breath and his breathing was getting more labored than before, both signs that his punctured lung was getting worse. He knew he should try to control his breathing while walking through the snow to keep it steady, and for awhile he was doing just that. But that all changed when he heard Carlos slur his speech. Getting to the cabins as fast as he could became his number one priority. He wouldn't let himself to succumb to the pain or fatigue he felt with each breathe.

However, the look of pain that briefly passed Logan's face did not go unnoticed by James, who continued to eye his friend closely.

"You were about to say something before," James remarked, the steep trail forgotten. He wasn't surprised to be greeted with Logan's questioning stare so he continued, "Before, when I asked you to let me worry about you, you were about to say something just as Kendall called you over. What were you going to say?"

Logan was momentarily stunned by the comment; he thought the subject had been dropped once he alerted James about Carlos's worsening concussion, their minds only concerned about Carlos. He didn't think that James would still be interested in finishing their earlier conversation. But alas, here he was asking Logan once again to reveal the secrets he was hiding.

Looking into his friend's waiting glare, Logan knew what James wanted to hear. He wanted Logan to open up, to let someone in through the inner turmoil and pain he was silently enduring. He wanted Logan to tell him the truth. However, Logan knew better. What good would the truth be? What good would come out of the fact that his friends knew about his punctured lungs and wounded side? They would just insist that he slow down and rest, which was not an option when it came to helping Carlos. They needed to keep moving. They needed to stay focused on getting to the cabins as soon as possible. They didn't need to worry about minor things like his lungs or his trouble breathing from time to time. Besides, he was doing a good job keeping control of his breathing. James had nothing to worry about.

_Even breaths, Logan,_ he thought to himself. _Just keep taking_ _short even breaths._

"Oh, that... Well, I was just going to say thank you."

"'Thank you'? For what?"

"For wanting to worry. For caring. I don't know... Just thanks," Logan said, sheepishly.

"Really? You were just going to say thank you?" James asked, incredulously. He had a hard time believing that those were the words Logan was going to say earlier. He had feeling that there was something deeper behind that brief pause, like Logan was finally going to reveal something. Like Logan was going to let him in.

But Logan remained stubborn, dismissing James's invitation to the truth as he said, "Yes, I was just going to say thanks. But, fine if you don't want my thanks, just forget about it."

"Whoa, I'm never said that. I'm not one to refuse praise. But, honestly, you don't have to thank me, Logan. You are one of my best friends; caring about you kind of comes with the title," James replied.

"Yea, I know," Logan smiled.

"I have no problem - no problem wo-worrying about - Dammit!"

The exclamation escaped James's mouth as his crutches slide once again on the slick surface causing him to slip on the snow.

Logan noticed the trouble James was having as his footing slipped without the adequate support from the crutches, and said, "James, position the crutches a little further up when your walking and put them on a slant. Then swing forward instead of hopping. That should make it a little easier."

James could only stare at Logan in curiosity, unsure about the mechanics of Logan's idea. However, James knew better than to question the advice and did exactly as instructed. Not surprisingly, James moved up the hill with ease with the new technique. How Logan knew the answers to everything never ceased to amaze him.

"Wow, Logan! How did you know that would work?"

"Basic physics," Logan replied, simply. James stared back with a puzzled expression on his face at the comment, trying to work out how physics had anything to do with it. Logan knew he could go in depth about the rules of a pendulum and how the principle worked with his crutches, but he only smiled at the sight of his confused friend as he continued, "I'm just glad I could be some help."

"Some help?" James scoffed. "Honestly, telling me how to use these crutches right is the least you've done for me. You've been like a life saver through this -"

"Don't say that!" Logan quickly cut in, shaking his head in denial at James's claim. Noticing the look of shock on James's face at his outburst, he realized that his response had been too harsh. "I mean, you - you don't need to say that."

"Logan," James whispered, as the meaning of Logan's reaction came to understanding. He was about to continue, to offer words of comfort, but Logan once again changed the subject and avoided the topic.

"Uhh, I'm going to go see if Kendall needs any help with Carlos. Just keep heading straight. We should be reaching the cabins soon," Logan said and, without waiting for a response, left James's side to wait for the approaching Carlos and Kendall.

Logan didn't mean for the conversation to take such a serious turn, but he couldn't stomach the praise that he was sure was about to escape James's mouth. He didn't feel he deserved any level of thanks for anything he did because in the end, the truth of the matter remained the same: he was the cause of this whole mess.

Logan had been able to quell the feelings of guilt for awhile, the task of getting his friends safely to shelter effectively taking his mind off of blaming himself for the accident. But after witnessing Carlos's worsening condition and then hearing James's words of praise directed toward him, all those feelings quickly resurfaced and he was left wallowing in his self pity once again. Even now, watching how Carlos struggled to walk on his own and stay upright or how the look of worry didn't quite leave Kendall's face, Logan could help but think that he was to blame for it all.

In the recesses of his mind, he could hear a far voice, whisper in sadness, "How could you, Logan? This is all your fault." Logan had to physically shake his head to rid his subconscious of the horrible thoughts that were invading his mind. However, they seemed persistent. He didn't even know that he was shaking from the thoughts until Kendall was beside him, pointing it out.

"You cold, Loges?" Kendall asked, concern clearly evident in his voice. Kendall was a little alarmed to see Logan shaking like a leaf but it seemed highly likely due to the below freezing temperatures they were currently traveling through.

"Uhhh, no," Logan replied with a start, hoping to avoid another round of 21 questions from Kendall. One look in his face, however, told him the game had just begun. Logan quickly cut in before Kendall had a chance to response. "How about you, guys? Carlos, how you holding up?"

Logan hoped to get Kendall's attention off of him and direct it toward Carlos and, for a second, the plan worked. Kendall's worried face turned to Carlos to ask the same question Logan asked, but this time with his eyes. However, Carlos had little to say, and barely muttered a low reply.

"'M f'ne."

That marked the end of the conversation and they continued to follow the speedy James up the hill. Logan remained close behind, but found his breathing becoming labored once again at an alarming rate. Every time he would attempt to take a deep breathe in, he found resistance; it was as if his chest would not allow his lungs to expand that much. Not only did his chest refuse the action, but a burning feeling would erupt on his right side every time he even tried. He was only able to get short quick gasps of air that left him extremely winded and dizzy. He tried to maintain even breaths but that too became difficult over time. Before he knew it, he had fallen behind Carlos and Kendall and he was short of breath.

Logan had hoped Kendall had not noticed his slower than normal pace, but of course his bad luck continued when he heard Kendall call out, "Guys, wait up."

"Ken- Kendall, what are- what are you doing? We need to keep mov-moving," Logan panted, leaning forward, his hands resting on his knees as he struggled to take a deep breath.

"No, we need to slow down so you can catch your breath," Kendall remarked staring at his panting friend. It looked like it was difficult for him to even stand on his feet and yet, he shook his head in protest as he continued on.

"No, we can't. We don't have time to waste. There isn't much sunlight left. We have to make it to the cabins. We have to keep moving."

"A few minutes won't kill us, Logan."

"You don't know that, Kendall."

The words hung in the air as the seriousness of the situation set in. There was no telling what a few extra minutes would mean to their health, and they knew that it was important to get to the cabins as soon as possible, but for those words to be said and their meaning to be put out in the open, was a little too much too handle. Kendall could only move aside and let Logan pass by him, unable to form an appropriate rebuttal to that statement.

Logan moved to take a step forward, but his foot slipped on the mistakenly soft layer of snow. He felt himself shift off balance, but was able to quickly regain his footing. However, by then the quick change in position had done its damage and the sore muscles on the right side of his chest were pulled. He was unable to stop reflexive cry of pain that escaped his mouth and instinctively grabbed at the sore area of his chest to ease the pain. He tried to breathe through the pain, but that too seemed difficult and before he knew it, Kendall was pushing him down to sit on a boulder.

Logan tried to refuse the offer for a break again, but this time his protest were heard on deaf ears as Kendall insisted that Logan take a few minutes to catch his breath.

"Logan! That's it! We're resting!" Kendall said with authority, unwilling to let Logan talk him out of it this time.

"Kendall, no -"

"Is everything okay?" James asked, as he attempted to move downhill toward his friends, but Kendall called up to him, stopping his progress.

"Yea, everything is fine. Carlos, you think you can go by yourself to meet up with James?"

Carlos's eyes were glued on Logan, worry ever present in his stare, and he seemed hesitant to leave his side. But, he nodded his head slowly and with a slow and steady pace, continued up the hill by himself.

"K-Ken- Kendall, we have to keep m-moving."

"No, you need to catch your breathe."

"I'm fine. I just got the wind knocked out of me," Logan replied, refusing to allow Kendall to keep him seated. He attempted to rise from his seat on the boulder, but Kendall placed a gentle but firm push down that told him he wouldn't be rising anytime soon.

"Logan, give it a rest. We're not moving until I say so." He pulled the duffel bag off Logan's shoulder and discarded it to the side.

"Ugh, Kendall, you don't get it."

"You're right! I don't get it. Explain it to me, Logan, because, believe me, I'm lost."

"I have to make things right!"

"What?"

"All of this. This whole accident. It's my fault. I caused this. I'm the reason James is losing so much blood and why Carlos can't talk clearly and why you might lose your arm. It's all my fault and I have to fix it. I have to make this right."

Kendall couldn't believe the words that he just heard. He was momentarily stunned about the words that left Logan's mouth. How could he still be feeling guilty about the accident? They saw the van and he realized what happened to the driver. There was nothing that he could have done - nothing that anyone could have done to stop the accident.

"Logan, are you serious? You're still blaming yourself!? I told you - we all told you. This is not your-"

"You can keep saying that Kendall, but it doesn't change the way that I feel. It doesn't take away from the overwhelming feeling of guilt that strangles me whenever I look at James's bleeding leg or see Carlos in pain, knowing that I did that to my best friends."

"But, you didn't do this, Logan! You know the truth. You know what happened to other driver. None of this is your -"

"I could have prevented it," Logan whispered as he hung his head low in shame.

Kendall realized he was not getting through to Logan with his gentle approach, so he tried another means of convincing Logan to slow down his quickened pace.

"Logan, either way, pushing yourself to the point where you can't breathe isn't going to help anyone. If you're not okay, how are going to help us?" Kendall urged, hoping to get his friend to see reason.

But, Logan remained adamant and stubborn. "I told you, I'm fine, Kendall. I'm not pushing myself and we have to keep walking."

Logan could see the look of disappointment on Kendall's face at his comment, and he hated the fact that his lie had upset Kendall. He tried to cover it up.

"Look, I promise once we get to the cabins and once I make sure the rest of you guys are alright, I'll rest. Does that make you happy?"

Kendall only stared at Logan in disbelief, amazed at how little he thought of his health. The attempt at a compromise did nothing to ease his concern about Logan's well being, but he was tired of repeating himself. He was sure his words were falling on deaf ears. Logan had no intention of taking care of himself or welcoming the possibility of someone else taking care of him and Kendall couldn't take it anymore.

"Honestly, Logan, don't make me any promises. All I'm trying to do is help you, but if you just want to push yourself and wallow in self pity, then I'm not going to watch," Kendall replied, angrily. Turning his back to Logan, he leaned down to grab the discarded duffel bag.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"You might not give a damn about yourself, but I'm not going to let you carry this anymore," Kendall said, shortly.

The comment stung and Logan continued to feel horrible for his dishonesty and he quickly tried to make the situation right once again.

"Kendall, wait."

"I don't want to hear it, Logan," Kendall shouted back as he walked away from his friend.

But, Logan continued to call out his name, "Kendall! Kendall, wait!"

As he walked to catch up to the quickly retreating Kendall, his feet slipped once again on the slick surface. This time, his short gasp of surprise caused the burning in his chest to increase exponentially and he couldn't stop the slight cough that escaped his mouth from the action. However, what started as a little cough, quickly became a full on coughing fit that assaulted his whole body. His eyes watered, his body convulsed as the cough ripped through him. He could taste the metallic liquid rise up his throat, but unlike last time, he was unable to contain it. Blood trickled out his mouth and littered the white snow with tiny red specks.

The coughing was not the worst of it though. Logan also had trouble breathing. It was different then before. While he had been able to at least take quick short pants of air to feed his starving lungs, he couldn't even do that anymore. It was like a ten pound weight had fallen on his chest, making it virtually impossible for him to breathe. He began producing the most horrible sounds as he struggled to breathe and he quickly became lightheaded as dark spots assaulted his vision. Logan could see Kendall in the distance, and with the little strength he had, called out once more for his friend to help before the world seemed to shift on it's axis and the white snow on the ground defied gravity to make contact with his face.

"Ken-Ken-K'nd'l..."

* * *

Kendall remained lost in his own thoughts, angry that his best friend would choose to stay in such evident pain. It didn't make any sense to him why Logan would refuse to take care of himself. While it was important for them to get to the cabins quickly, Logan's well being was more important, especially when he looked like one of the walking dead. Why couldn't Logan see that? At least he agreed to slow down once they reached shelter. Kendall made a mental note to make sure that he kept a close eye on Logan once they reached the cabin, however, that offered little solace to quell the ever present worry that was slowly consuming him. It was then he realized the lack of footsteps behind him, instead he heard gasping and choking coming from behind him.

"Logan?" Kendall asked. Dreading the sight, he turned to see if Logan was alright behind him and what he saw in front of him, nearly caused his heart to stop in pure shock.

"Logan!" He screamed as he stared at his best friend struggle for breathe, coughing uncontrollably as blood spewed from his mouth. He could only look on his shock as the once porcelain white snow around his friend was now stained bright red with blood, Logan's blood. It wasn't until he heard the heart wrenching sound of his name leaving his best friend's mouth did his brain work again. Dropping the duffel bag, he raced to his falling friend's side.

Kendall made it right in time to catch Logan before he fell head first into a pile a snow and cradling him in his arms, he sat beside him, dazed and confused.

"Lo-Logan!" Kendall screamed once again as he stared down at his choking his friend. "Wh-what's - what's going? Wh-what's wrong?"

He completely confused. Logan was walking behind, he was supposed to be following behind him. How was he coughing blood? Why was he struggling to breathe? They were right about to reach the cabins. They were so close to safety. Logan was going to rest once they reached the cabins. This wasn't supposed to e happening. Why was this happening? Nothing made sense anymore.

Logan was able to provide little answers as he continued to struggle to take in a deep breathe. He clutched his throat and through gasps of air, he continued to call for Kendall to help.

"K-Ken- K'ndall... H'rd to br'the…p-p-pl'se, K'nd'll… h'lp…"

The look on Logan's face. The pale complexion of his skin. The horrible way Logan sounded as he called Kendall's name. Those were things that absolutely broke Kendall's heart and he was sure they would never be erased from his mind. Tears began to fall at the helplessness he felt at the situation. His best friend rested in his arms, straining to complete the simple act of breathing, and he had no idea of what to do to help him. He looked all around him in anticipation, in fear, desperately searching for answers and hating that none were readily available.

"Shh, Logan," Kendall yelled. "Short breaths. Concentrate on breathing, buddy. Just stay awake and breathe."

"Guys, I can make out the cabins! We're almost there! Kendall?" James yelled from where he stood uphill. "Kendall, what's wr-"

He stopped mid-sentence when he noticed the fallen Logan in Kendall's arms. "Omi- oh, god! Logan!"

James began to position his crutches downhill to make his way to his two friends but Kendall yelled up to him to stop.

"No, James! Don't… Don't come down here! Keep going. Go - Go get help!"

"B-b-but, Logan! Kendall, what happened to Logan?!"

"James, just go get help! Go! Please! Logan n-n-needs - Logan needs help!"

James knew better than to argue and quickly turned to run the remaining yards uphill, the outline of the cabins in the far distance his beacon of hope.

Kendall turned his attention to Logan, but caught a glimpse of Carlos running up the hill as well.

"Carlos? Carlos?! Carlos, where are you going?" Kendall called out, a new wave of panic crashing over him as he feared Carlos would collapse as well as from the worsening concussion. He couldn't risk handling another seriously injured friend. There was no way he could survive that. "Carlos, come back!"

"N-no, L'gie n'eds h'lp," he slurred, as he continued up the hill, racing to catch up to James. Kendall watched in disbelief at his friends retreating forms, watching as they would do whatever they needed to, risk whatever they had to save a friend.

Kendall could only hope that they returned with help soon. With his breathing compromised, Kendall knew Logan didn't have much time. Looking down at his hyperventilating friend, he whispered, "Please, just keep breathing, Logie."

* * *

James didn't want to leave Logan. He wanted so badly to make his way back down the hill and stay by his side so that Logan knew he wasn't alone. But he knew what Logan needed more than anything was help. James had no idea what happened, why Kendall was cradling Logan, and why Kendall had the look of pure fear in his eyes. All he knew was the bright red liquid that was pouring out of Logan's mouth and he knew: Logan was in trouble. That was all James needed to know and that was why he followed Kendall's instruction to keep moving.

As James reached closer to peak of the hill in his quickened pace, the crutches became more of a nuisance than a useful tool. The quicker he tried to move through the snow, the more difficult it was for him to adjust the crutches. He tried to follow the instructions Logan gave him earlier, but in his haste, that didn't seem to work anymore. James tripped and slipped numerous times before he became frustrated all together with the two sticks. Figuring he could move faster without them, he threw them to the side in disgust and chose to run on his injured leg instead.

He ran up hill as fast as his injured leg would allow. While the pain was borderline unbearable and he quickly became overwhelmed by the pain, he was able to run through the snow without much difficulty. Maybe it was adrenaline or the sense that his friend needed him more than anything; whatever it was, it was a driving force, his inner voice that drove him to run as fast as he could and endure as much pain as possible to save Logan.

However, as soon as he cleared the hill and the cabins were yards away, the pain reached a fever pitch, and he was forced to take a break. Winded from overexertion and nearly paralyzed by the throbbing pain that was shooting daggers up and down his leg, he had to lean against a tree to compose himself. It was then that he noticed Carlos coming up quickly behind him toward the cabins as well.

"C-C-Carlos?" James panted as he caught his breath. Carlos remained silent as he grabbed James's hand and pulled him forward.

Carlos didn't know where the strength came from, where he got the energy to keep moving when his muscles were screaming for him to stop. He didn't know how he was still on his feet when it felt like his legs were moving through quicksand.. He just had to get to the cabins as fast as he could. Through the fogginess of his concussion and the strong pull toward sleep, he knew that moving meant saving Logan so he had to keep moving. He couldn't lose Logan. Not again.

"C'm on. L'gie n'ds h'lp," Carlos slurred once again, urging James to continue. James was shocked to see Carlos's resilience as he carried on through the effects of a serious concussion. Even though he still slurred his speech and he couldn't walk in a straight line, Carlos was able to stay on his feet as he ran through the snow as well. In the back of his mind, James remembered Carlos's earlier words about saving his life, about not wanting to lose a piece of himself. James realized that those words were true to him as well. He couldn't lose himself as well. He had to find help now.

They were able to make it to cabins in a matter of minutes. However, in front of them stood a row of cabins. Knowing it would take a lot of time for each of them to check the cabins together, James decided to split up.

"You start on the far left. I'll start at the far right. Knock and yell as long as you can for one minute and then move on to the next one," James ordered. Carlos just gave a quick nod of the head before he made his way to the first cabin on the left. His gait was still unsteady, but Carlos made sure to stay on his feet and gain the last bit of strength to call for help.

Limping much worse than when he started running without his crutches, James was thankful that he was able to reach his first cabin without collapsing. He leaned heavily against the door frame as he banged on the wooden door as hard as he can, and yelled to whoever was around to listen.

"Help! Please! Open up! We need some help!" James screamed, in desperation. However, after a minute wait, his action yielded no response. While the disappointment weighed heavy on him, he labeled that first cabin as a lost cause and continued his way to the next one.

Door after door, he repeated his banging and yelling, and just like the previous attempts, no one answered his call for aid. He turned toward Carlos and noticed he was unsuccessful as well. He started to doubt Logan's suggestion at the possible inhabitants at the cabins, that thought causing his heart to physically drop to the pit of his stomach. However, he couldn't dwell on that possibility; there were still a couple more doors left to check.

James had to physically drag his left leg behind him as he made his way to the next cabin. He tried not to notice the total loss of feeling in that leg, tried not to focus on what the lack of pain meant. He chose to contribute it to the cold temperatures instead of the prolonged blood loss that he feared. He could hear Carlos at the house next door, banging with desperation and he knew this was their final chance, the last cabin to find help.

He struggled to stay on his feet, but he reached the door and again banged on the door with rolled up fists, pounding until his hands were red and screaming until his voice was raw.

"Please! Help us! My friend needs help! Please!"

He didn't realize Carlos had made it beside until he saw his hand hitting the wooden frame in a similar fashion. There voices blended and carried the same tone of urgency that carried through the campsite, and yet as the seconds ticked by, the door remained closed, there was no sign of movement on the other side.

James collapsed to the ground as his weight became too heavy to be supported on his injured leg and the feeling of failure began to take its hold on him. It was no use. None of the cabins were occupied, just as Logan had originally predicted. They really were all alone. Who was going to help them now? Where was Logan going to get the help he needed? Would Logan even survive? What if he was already de-

"No!" James shouted to himself. "We are going to get help!"

He resumed his banging on the door and screamed even louder, until his voice was scratchy and his throat was sore. He didn't care how long he pounded on the door, all he needed was to be heard.

"What's going on out there?"

A voice called out from behind the wood. James stood in complete shock, unsure about whether the voice was real or he imagined it. He had to physically shake his head to continue.

"Please! Please! Help us, please! My friend… he needs help!" James screamed as he scrambled up to stand in the door frame, hoping to see the open door.

Seconds later, the door creaked open, revealing a tall older man. He looked malnourished, but his body stood lean and he had a head and face full of matted grey and black hair. It was the only thing noticeable about the man's facial features aside from his blue eyes, that were barely visible through the thick eyebrows. But though, his initial appearance seemed frightening, it was those eyes - inviting and kind - that caused James to truly believe their luck had changed.

"Oh my, boy, you look horrible! Are you alright?" The man asked, as he leaned forward to offer James assistance, but James quickly moved away. He had to make sure the man helped Logan first.

"I-I'm fine! It's not me. Don't help me. My friend - you need to help my friend," James screamed, hysterically.

The man looked puzzled about the outburst, but sensing James's urgency turned to Carlos, assuming that he was the friend James was talking about in his pleas.

"No! Not him! Please, you have to help our friends!" James yelled once more, this time with an air of desperation. He could see the older man was confused by his words; James was having trouble explaining the seriousness of their situation. He knew that he wasn't making much sense at the moment, his mind was a jumbled mess focused primarily on getting Logan the aid he needed. But to do so, he needed to get this man to help them as calmly and effectively as he could. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Please, my friends are still out there in the snow. One of them is having trouble breathing and there's blood. I don't know what's wrong but I know he needs help. Please, you have to help us. You have to help them. Please."

James basically begged and he would have fallen on his knees to plead his case more if he trusted himself to get back up. But, one look at the older man's face, James saw in his eyes a look of understanding as he stared forward into the wooded areas. However, as quick as the man opened the door, he disappeared into his cabin, leaving a stunned James standing at the door frame shock. For a quick moment, he thought all hope was lost; the guy had changed his mind and was resigned to just letting him and his friends freeze in the snow. And just when the thought became a persistent feeling, the older man returned to the door, fully dressed in a parka and carrying a box that looked similar to Logan's first aid kit.

"Ok, you two get into the cabin and stay warm. There are blankets on the couch and I just put a few more pieces of wood into the fireplace. I'm going to go help your friends," the older man said as he made his through the threshold and headed to the woods.

But James didn't hear a word of what the man said, his mind only concentrating on the fact that he was going to help his friends. A feeling of relief swept over him and he could only watch in relief as the man's retreating figure disappeared in the trees as he made his way to his friends. Logan and Kendall were going to be found and Logan would get help. Everything was going to okay.

"We did it, Carlos. We're going to make it," James said, as he slide down the door frame to sit down on the wooden porch. It was then that he noticed how silent Carlos was sitting beside him. Throughout James's whole encounter with the old man, Carlos had not said a word. James, in his hurry to make sure that the man helped Logan and Kendall, had forgotten about the quiet Carlos. However, now, with his mind clear, knowing that help was near, James was able to take in his surroundings.

"Carlos?" James asked, turning to his friend, fearful of what his prolonged silence meant. He didn't think his heart could take anymore, doubted it could withstand anymore heartache. In an instant, he realized he was wrong.

As his eyes found Carlos, James took in the sight he dreaded to see. Sitting on the frame of the other side of the door, Carlos sat slumped, head dropped to the side, unconscious.

Author's Note #2: So, a lot happened in that chapter. Coming up next, we have the much anticipated Kendall angst. Thank you all for sticking with me, for being patient and awesome readers. It truly makes me want to write my best for all of you. I will try my hardest to get the next chapter out as soon as I can.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: I am so sorry for the wait! Please enjoy. Oh, and minor language warning.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.

Chapter 11 - The Truest Form of Friendship - of Love - is Sacrifice

It's funny how random memories have a way of resurfacing at the weirdest times.

Logan remembered a time while playing hockey when he was checked roughly into the boards during a championship game. It had been a great game; while they were facing a team that was much bigger than them, they had been able to stay in the game, only trailing 2 to 1. With less than a minute to go in the second period, Logan had seen an opportunity to bring his team back in the game. Scoring a short handed goal off of a fast break against the other team's fastest player, he sparked new life to his team. While he hadn't gloated and just performed a meager celebratory exclamation, the other team had found fault in his attitude and retaliated against him at the start of the third period. Logan didn't see the larger forward advance on him on his blind side. In fact, he didn't even know what was happening until his head made contact with the glass and his body was pressed roughly against the boards. Like a lifeless dummy, he fell to the floor crumpled, disoriented. He could make out the forward getting pushed into the penalty box, but all sound and coherent thought had left him as he laid on the ice, watching the scene around him. Then, his three best friends came to his rescue, pulling him off the ice and guiding him to the bench and their awaiting coach.

"Don't worry, Mitchell. You'll be fine. You just got the wind knocked out of you," coach had said, as Logan attempted to take deep breaths against the pressure on his lungs. He had doubted the coach's words as he continued to have trouble catching his breath. Sure enough, though, just as his coach had predicted, minutes later, the wind returned to Logan and he was able to breathe with ease. However, the fear and anxiety he felt those short minutes when he had been unable to breathe properly on his own had made its mark on Logan's mind. He never wanted the wind to be knocked out of him again.

And yet, years later, here he was again, finding difficulty in the simple act of breathing. But, this time it was different. This time, as the minutes passed, the pressure didn't ease, his ability to breathe didn't return, and the pain - oh, the pain, assaulting the right side of his chest was unbearable.

Those were the thoughts racing through Logan's mind after every attempt at breathing. He urged his lungs to expand, for the oxygen to reach the starving lung tissue that yearned for the precious air. However, each time, the muscles would constrict against the resistance, leaving him struggling for breathe. The sounds he was producing sounded horrible to his own ears; Logan wanted so much to stop the choking sensations as he coughed and gasped for air through the blood slowly pooling and occluding his airway.

Kendall was certain that this moment would forever mar his mind and haunt his nightmares. Cradling one of his best friends in his arms, watching him struggle for breath, and begging him to stay awake long enough for help to arrive - Kendall wasn't sure he could handle it much longer. The tears were falling from his face at their own accord; he doubted he even had the mental capacity to even try to stop them.

"Just hang in there, buddy. Short breaths. Just keep breathing," Kendall urged. He squeezed the hand that was clutching Logan's tightly, hoping to strengthen him with his touch. However, the action did little to squash the immense fear he had for his friend.

Logan could only nod his head, as it took too much energy for him to give a verbal response. He hated the look of fear he saw in Kendall's eye, hating himself for being the cause of that look on his friend's face. But, he too was scared about what was going on. He had known that this could have happen and he had read enough medical textbooks to understand that what he was experiencing was serious. There was no denying that this was exactly what he had been trying to avoid once he realized he had punctured his lung. However, he had pushed himself too far, not heeding the warning signs and now he had to suffer the consequences of not being more attentive to his condition. But, his friends had needed him. He wouldn't regret putting his friends before him. Thinking of his friends reminded Logan of their prolonged and his anxiety increased at not being able to see them.

"C-C-C'r... C'rl's...n-n-d J'ms," Logan whispered, his words sounding distorted due to the little amount of oxygen his lungs provided. However, the message was clear to Kendall, who smirked as the tears multiplied in his eyes at the comment. Here Logan was, using all his strength to just breathe and the thoughts going through his mind were about the others.

"Shhh, it's okay, Logie. They are fine. They went to get us some help. Help should be here any second, so just stay with me, okay?" Kendall replied, looking all around for any sign of help to come bursting through the trees. Instead, the wind picked up in response.

Kendall pulled Logan closer into the embrace, hoping to shield him from the abrasive wind. His action proved little protection as Logan shook in his arms from the cold, resulting in a hard blood producing cough to rack his body. Kendall quickly turned his friend's head to the side to allow an exit for the blood traveling up his airway. He tried not to stare at the small pool of the dark red liquid that laid beside his best friend, tried not to let the fact that it came from Logan upset him. But, it was a losing battle.

"It's alright, buddy. You're alright. Just keep breathing for me, Logan. That's right, slow breaths okay?" Kendall whispered, as he tried to soothe Logan after his coughing fit with little success.

"M'k s're C'rl's d'esn't sl'p... H' c'nt f'll asl'p... 'Nd J'mes... W'tch h's l'g... L's'ng t'm'ch bl'd..." Logan gasped. It was extremely difficult to get those words out through pants of air and coughs that threatened to expel his lungs, but Logan knew he wouldn't be much help soon so he needed Kendall to make sure he watched out for Carlos and James.

Kendall could tell what Logan was doing and he didn't want to hear it.

"Shhh, Logan. Don't talk, okay? Just save your strength. Just concentrate on your breathing. Help is coming. Any minute. Help will be coming," Kendall said. "You're going to be fine. And then, you can make sure that Carlos is okay and watch James's leg. And I'll even let you fuss over my shoulder." But, Logan only shook his head in denial, refusing to agree with Kendall's words. Thinking he meant that he wasn't going to be okay, Kendall began to lose what little control he had on the situation. "What do you mean? Of course, you're going to be okay. You have to be okay. I mean, this is nothing, just a little cough. You'll be just fine, Logie."

"'M s'rry..."

"Dammit, Logan, stop it! You don't get to do that. You don't effing get to say goodbye! You're going to be fine! You promised me! You promised me, I wouldn't have to face my fear. You said that! So you don't get to leave. I am not going to lose you," Kendall screamed as the tears spilled down his face. And as he stared down at his friend, cradled in his hands, the rise and fall of his chest slowing down as the seconds passed, and the color leaving his best friends face as his lips tinged blue, he realized that he was losing him. He was losing Logan.

"No! I am not going to lose you," Kendall screamed, erasing the horrible thoughts in his mind. Logan was going to be alright, he was going to make sure of that. In that moment, Kendall realized what he had to do.

He could no longer sit patiently, waiting on false hope for help to arrive. While he hoped James and Carlos had succeeded in reaching the cabins, he didn't have much time to waste. Logan's life depended on some sort of action. And that's exactly what Kendall planned to do. He would get his friend the help he needed. Gently, Kendall laid Logan on the snow, trying not to notice the questioning look his friend gave him. Standing, he tore the makeshift sling off his arm. He wasn't prepared for the pain in his arm from the lack of support, and he couldn't conceal the slow hiss of pain he let at the unwelcomed feeling. At the sound, Logan looked up and immediately chastised his friend for removing the cloth supporting his arm upright; he knew that it would be bad for him to let his arm hang unsupported at his side.

"K'nd'l...n-n'...y'r sh'd'r..."

But, Kendall pretended not to hear Logan's words. He simply repeated, "I'm not going to lose you," as he assumed the position above Logan.

With as much strength as he could gather from his injured arm, he grabbed a hold of Logan's arms from under his armpits. His right shoulder protested against the weight, the muscles refusing to follow the command his brain was telling them, the resulting pain too much for them to handle. However, Kendall fought through their resistance, and on a mental count of three, he pulled Logan toward him, dragging him through the snow.

His shoulder erupted in pain almost instantly at the action. While before the added weight had merely added pressure against the sore muscles and fragile bones, as soon as Kendall pulled to drag Logan, his whole right arm, from his fingers to his shoulder, ignited in fiery hot pain. An animalistic growl escaped his mouth as he fought through the pain, pulling his friend up the small hill that James and Carlos had disappeared through minutes before.

He was able to pull Logan a few yards before the pain reached a fever pitch and he had to take a break. Dropping Logan to the ground gently, Kendall quickly grabbed his shoulder and turned his back from his friend's worried glance. It didn't surprise Kendall that his hand was soaked in blood, the action opening whatever wound Logan had been able to dress before. He groaned in pain however at the unpleasant sensation that continued to coarse through his nerve endings even though his arm hung limply to his side. While he wanted to wait for the pain to subside before he continued, he knew rest would just waste time - time which they didn't have. Composing himself, he turned, resumed his position, and once again, dragged Logan through the snow, pretending not to notice the sad look in his best friend's eyes.

In the freezing temperatures, sweat soaked Kendall's forehead as he exerted what little amount of energy he had to pull Logan toward those cabins. Black spots began to dance in his vision, his knees beginning to shake as he pushed himself closer and closer to his breaking point, but Kendall fought on. He pushed himself through the pain, through the weakness, using all the strength he had and then pure heart to get his friend help. He could barely make out the cabins in the short distance when his shoulder gave out on him and he crumpled to the snow in exhaustion and defeat.

Cradling his injured shoulder, he made his way to Logan's side, his heart breaking at the sight. Sometime while he was pulling, Logan had lost consciousness. With dried blood on his lips, the only sign of life was the uneven rise and fall of his chest, indicating that he was in fact still breathing.

"N-n-no, no, Noooo!" Kendall screamed, pulling Logan into his arms and holding him close. "Logan, wake up for me buddy! Come on, open your eyes. Not again. Oh, God, please not again. Logie, please."

He begged and pleaded but to no avail. Logan remained unresponsive, looking lifeless as he laid in Kendall's arms, causing Kendall to completely lose it. He pressed his head to Logan's forehead as he sobbed, the free falling tears soaking Logan's forehead. He cried for the accident. He cried in fear of losing his best friend, and he cried for failing to keep his promise. He remembered Logan's reaction at seeing the dead driver, and the words of encouragement and hope he had provided to his distraught friend. He had truly believed he could get his friends home safely, But, alas, it had been false hope and all hope was now lost. He had failed to keep his friends safe and poor Logan had to pay the price for his failure.

"I'm so sorry, Logan," Kendall sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

And then he heard it. A faint voice off in the distance screaming, yelling for something. For someone.

"Hello! Is there anyone out there?" the voice cried out.

"Yes, we're over here! Please! Please help us!"

"I can hear you! Keep screaming so I can find you!" The voice called out once again. Kendall could tell from the sound of the voice, its owner had increased his pace and was running toward them. Doing just as instructed, Kendall made as much noise as he could to lure the man over to them. He yelled and screamed until his voice was raw and his mouth was dry.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a tall man with a heavily grayed beard broke through the trees. While he looked to be in his late fifties, maybe even early sixties, Kendall only saw him as his hero, here to save him and Logan.

Struggling to get to his feet, his body weak from over exertion, he urged the man to come closer. "Thank God! Please, you have to help my friend. He - he was having trouble breathing. And he was coughing up blood. There was so much blood. And he kept coughing, he wouldn't stop coughing. And the sounds - he couldn't breathe, he kept trying to, but - but he couldn't. And now, he won't wake up. Please help us!"

Kendall knew he was not making sense, probably going through shock from the past few minutes, but the mystery man made no mention of it as he approached the two friends, kneeling down beside Logan.

"It's okay. My name is Gabriel. I'm here to help. Your other friends explained everything to me. Are you alright?"

At the mention of Carlos and James, tears of joy sprung to Kendall's eyes, as he nodded his head. "I'm fine. Just please, help Logan."

Though Kendall was sure Gabriel didn't believe his words, he remained silent and returned his attention to Logan as he placed two fingers underneath the crook of his neck. He kept them there for a few seconds before he leaned his head forward and placed an ear on Logan's chest. Kendall watched in fear as the man closed in his eyes in disappointment at what he heard.

"Please... Please, tell me he's still alive..." Kendall whispered, not knowing what he would do if he didn't hear the words he needed to hear.

"He's still alive," the older man sighed. "His pulse is thready but strong. But, his condition is very serious. We have to get him to my cabin quick."

Kendall sensing Gabriel's urgency, quickly tried to rise to his feet. After a few attempts, he was able to stand, albeit on shaky legs. "A-A-Alright... I-I-I can help. I can help you move him." However, as he said those words, Kendall found himself having some difficulty staying upright on his feet. In his new standing position, he had suddenly become dizzy and lightheaded and he had a strange urge to throw up what little contents he had in his stomach on the ground. Subconsciously, he took his left arm and touched it to his right shoulder. His soaked red hand forced him to finally look at the reopened wound. What he thought was just a minor bleeding cut on his shoulder turned out to be a massive wound that was oozing large amounts of blood. It provided him the answer to his puzzling symptoms.

He tried to hide the evidence from Gabriel, but it was too late. He had already noticed the bleeding shoulder injury. With a look of sympathy, he replied, "It's okay, kid. I got your friend. Just take care of the shoulder. Here, hold this to your shoulder and put pressure to stop that bleeding."

Before Kendall even had a chance to protest, Gabriel draped Logan's limp arm around his neck and, securing a tight grip under Logan's knees and back, lifted him up like he was a sleeping child. Kendall watched in amazement as the older man performed the action effortlessly, not even letting a grunt of exertion exit his mouth. As easily as he lifted Logan, he turned and began to run up the remaining distance to the cabins.

Kendall stared in a daze at first, but as the distance between him and Logan increased, he too began his trek up the hill following behind them. Even though his arms were free and he didn't have to carry his unconscious friend in his arms, Kendall had more trouble than Gabriel when it came to moving through the snow. He found it difficult to securely place his feet on the slick surface, causing him to stumble and slide through the snow. The movement jarred his shoulder, but he endured the pain silently. His primary focus was getting as close to Logan, staying within an arm distance so that he never left his line of sight. It was hard but soon he was able to catch up close enough to see the slack features of his best friend.

The sharp pang of pain went through his heart at seeing Logan so still, he looked so lifeless in Gabriel's arms. Kendall couldn't help the fearful thoughts that were running through his mind, that all this running was for naught, that Logan was already gone. But he visibly shook those disturbing images from his subconscious, instead he chose to remember Gabriel's words. Logan was still alive. He was still breathing. They were on their way to safety. All those were good signs that everything was going to be okay. He had to believe that.

Instinctively, Kendall grabbed Logan's limp hand that dangled aimlessly, squeezing it, making his presence known to his unaware friend. He chose not to notice how cold the small hand felt in his, tried not to miss the warmth that always radiated from Logan through his hands. Keeping their hands joined, Kendall whispered to his friend, "You're going to be okay, Logie. Everything is going to be okay. I'm not going to break my promise. We're going to get home. Just stay with me buddy."

He could sense Gabriel's stare on him and tearing his eyes away from Logan, he looked into the older man's sad gaze.

"Don't worry, kid. I'll try my best to help your friend."

It was touching to see sympathy in those crystal blue eyes; the fact a total stranger had vowed to help him and his friend was a tough pill for Kendall to swallow. He could feel the lump that formed in his throat from witnessing Gabriel's compassion. He was barely able to mumble an audible "Thank You" in reply.

Sensing the awkwardness that arose from the exchange, Gabriel resumed his gaze straight ahead as he continued to move through the remaining path effortlessly. Before Kendall knew it, the once slanted terrain leveled and they found themselves in front of numerous cabins. Gabriel didn't stop his progress, continuing straight ahead to a cabin that was nestled in between two run down wooden houses. Kendall remained close behind, letting the older guy be his guide,. He didn't question, he just followed; he put all his trust in this stranger. It was a scary fact, in the way that it didn't scare Kendall. He had no problem following this bearded man's lead. As far as Kendall was concerned, this was friend's last chance at survival. He needed him. Therefore he never doubted the wisdom of his decision to believe whole heartedly in this man. It wasn't until he heard Gabriel curse out loud did a tiny spark of doubt arise.

"Dammit!"

"What?! What is it?!"

Kendall immediately stopped in his tracks at the sound, dreading it had something to do with Logan. However, Gabriel continued, shaking his head, "I told those boys to get into the house and in front of the fire. They'll freeze to death if they stay out in the cold much longer."

"What? What boys are you -" Kendall started to ask until he followed Gabriel's gave to where two figures rested against the frame of a cabin whose door was wide open. As soon as the sight registered in his brain, Kendall knew it was his two other friends and a wave of happiness and relief washed over him, so foreign that he doubted he had felt anything similar at all that day. "James! Carlos!" He screamed, his pace quickened with his friends a short distance away. He had never been happier to see them. They had all made it to the cabins. They were all going to be okay.

* * *

How long had it been? Was it minutes? Maybe even hours? Every second that Carlos remained with his eyes close seemed like an eternity to James who had to endure the unknown consequence of what Carlos's unconscious state meant. He had shook his body, slapped his cheek, physically pushed him against the wooden frame harshly, all yielding no results. Carlos remained unresponsive. He had succumbed to the darkness that had pulling at him for so long. While he hated to admit it, James knew that Carlos had fought as long as he could to stay awake. He had ran through a snowstorm; sooner or later, the exhaustion would have gotten the best out of him anyway.

"Carlos! Come on, man. Wake up! You can't do this! Not now, not when we're so close to getting home. Please, open your eyes for me, buddy!" James screamed, as he slapped his friend's cheek once again. However, like all the other attempts, his screaming seemed futile. Carlos's features didn't even flinch from the abuse that James was giving his face; he remained unresponsive.

At that fact, James lost all rational thought. Knowing that Carlos was unconscious, he remembered the words Carlos had told him before about hearing him when he spoke to him during his previous stint of unconsciousness. He had to try it again; he had to see if it worked again to wake up his sleeping friend. Yes, Carlos was just sleeping. There was no way it was the other option.

"I know you're tired, buddy, and I know you tried to stay awake as long as you could, but you have to wake up for me, Carlos. Come on, you have to open those eyes," James said, as he continued his efforts at reviving his friend. "Hey, I promised you that I would get one of the Jennifers to go on a date with you. Which one do you like better? I know you said once it didn't matter, but I've definitely seen the way you look at the curly haired Jennifer. I wasn't going to say anything but I heard around the pool that she's been asking about you too. With a little help from me, I can have you two on the Pop Tiger's Hottest New Couple list in a few weeks. But, you have to keep up your end of the deal, okay, buddy? You have to open your eyes. Come on, Carlos! Open your eyes!"

Even bribing Carlos to wake up with a date couldn't overcome Carlos's unconsciousness. Seeing him so motionless, so still, caused James to fear the worst, and that was when James lost the little hold he had on rational thought.

"Damn you, Carlos! What about me? I don't want to lose a piece of myself either. Please, don't leave me! Wake up! Carlos, wake up!" James screamed, until his voice cracked from overuse. Heartbroken, he let his head rest on Carlos's chest as tears soaked through the fabric of his friend's shirt.

"James!"

James's head shot up at the sound of someone screaming his name and his eyes quickly surveyed Carlos's face hoping it was him who had called his name. However, the small feeling of hope he heard was dashed as he stared at his friend's unchanging and still features. He was losing his mind; it was only a matter of time before that happened anyway. But then, he heard his name once again, this time louder, and coming from a distance. He turned from Carlos to face the wooded trees and in the distance, breaking through the last of the trees, running to him was Kendall.

The feeling of joy James felt at the sight was unbelievable. He had never been more happy to see Kendall in his whole life. Kendall could fix this. Yes, Kendall could make Carlos wake up; he always made everything okay. Everything was going to be okay.

"Kendall!"

As soon as Kendall came closer, however, James noticed all was not well with his friend. Kendall's whole right side was coated with blood, the thick red liquid draping his shoulder like a cape. His arm hung limply to his side as he held it close to his body as if trying to make sure it didn't fall off.

"Hey, buddy." Kendall said as he approached, the look of relief clear on his face. "I'm so happy to see you. Lemme get a good look at you. Are you alright?"

Kendall began to look up and down James, running every injury under deep scrutiny, his eyes settling on the leg wound that laid forgotten in a small pool of blood. "Oh, no, James…"

He could tell that Kendall's mind was concentrated solely on his leg but there was something more serious for Kendall to do. "No, I'm fine, Kendall. It's not me. It's - It's Carlos… C-C-Carlos…"

James managed to choke out the name before the tears returned, falling down his cheeks unannounced. At the sight of his broken friend, Kendall quickly turned his attention to Carlos, finally noticing his too still form. His head hung unsupported in his chest, and his eyes remained closed. Kendall wanted so much to think that his friend was merely sleeping, he wanted so much to let his tired friend sleep, but he knew better. He knew Carlos couldn't sleep in fear of that he would never awake from his slumber. He knew Carlos had to wake up.

"Carlos? Carlos! Carlos, wake up, buddy. Come on, man, you have to wake up, now," Kendall quickly yelled as he patted Carlos's cheek lightly at first.

"Carlos! Wake up! Please, wake up!" James urged beside him.

A new sense of urgency arose in Kendall at Carlos's unchanged condition, at James's pleading cries as well, and the light taps became more forceful slaps to his cheek and then whole body shoves in an attempt to wake Carlos up. However, Carlos remained unconscious, his eyes refusing to open.

"Kendall, please, wake him up. Please, make him wake up," James mumbled, incoherently. "Why won't he wake up? Please, oh God, please, don't let him be gone."

Kendall was lost and confused. This was not his forte, he knew little to nothing about medicine and healthcare. That was Logan. Logan would know, he always had the answers to things like this. But Logan wasn't here, he was in no condition to help right now. It would all depend on Kendall now, he would have to have the answers now. He would have to provide the hope and reassurance that his friends needed to overcome this horrible situation. However, looking into James's fearful eyes begging for answers, Kendall didn't know if he could be that sense of hope for the unknown they were facing, when his own faith and hope were waning.

Fortunately, before Kendall was forced to address James's question, Gabriel approached the cabin with Logan still in his arms.

"Don't worry, boys. He's still breathing. We have to get him inside though. He can't stay out here much longer," Gabriel said. Kendall nodded his head in approval, grateful for the older man's presence and reassurance. If Kendall didn't know what he was doing, at least they were lucky enough to have Gabriel to help them.

James, however, seemed even more distraught at the sight of Logan's still body in the older man's arms. Whatever control he had been able to keep at bay before was forgotten when he noticed yet another of his friend's unconscious form.

"Oh, God, Logie… Logan!" James screamed, as he struggled to stand on his feet to get closer to his friend. However, his injured leg made it virtually impossible for that to happen, forcing Kendall to stop him before he hurt himself more.

"James! It's okay. Logan's okay," Kendall replied, but James remained adamant in his actions and Kendall's words went unheard.

"Omigo- Kendall, he looks so… he looks like he's de-"

"James, look at me. Logan is fine, okay. Carlos is fine. Everything is going to be alright." Kendall had to physically pry James face from the sight of Gabriel retreating with Logan into the cabin to get his attention.

James could only shake his head, refusing to believe those words. How could that be true? How could anything ever be okay again?

"James, look at me. We survived a freaking car accident. We managed to walk through a raging snowstorm and finally made it to these damn cabins. We are so close to getting home. You cannot give up on me now, buddy. I need you to be strong and I need you to help me be strong, too because Carlos and Logan need us. They need us to be strong for them. I need you to be strong. Can you do that for me, James?" Kendall begged, because he doubted that he could survive this much longer if he lost James too, even if it was mentally.

Thankfully, James stared at Kendall with a look of understanding. Everything that Kendall said was making sense. They had made it through so much; they couldn't give up now. His friends needed him. "We're going to be okay," James replied, nodding his head in agreement.

"Yes, we are," Kendall said. "Come on, we have to get Carlos inside."

James numbly nodded his head, even though he doubted he would be useful in that action. With his bleeding leg that seemed to be losing feeling by the minute, he doubted he could put any weight on the leg again. In the back of his mind, he feared that he might have caused some nerve damage by ditching the crutches and running on his leg. However, Kendall seemed to have thought of another plan.

Taking matters into his own hands, Kendall grabbed Carlos's shoulders and making sure he had a secure grip, pulled Carlos up toward him, dragging him through the wooden porch to the door. James watched in utter amazement at the strength of will Kendall possessed while he moved Carlos. There was no doubt that he was in pain, the look of pure anguish that clouded his eyes made that fact evident. But Kendall chose to endure the pain silently; no moans or groans of pain escaped his mouth as he used all his remaining energy to get Carlos into the cabin. In a matter of minutes, Kendall, huffing and puffing from overexertion, had reached the couch. However, that was where he found difficulty in trying to lay the unconscious Carlos on the couch to rest, his aching and strained muscles in his right shoulder not allowing that action to be performed. James, sensing his conundrum, quickly pulled his body through door frame, dragging his limp leg behind as he crawled on the floor to offer his assistance. When he reached the couch, he assumed a seated position in the far corner and grabbing Carlos, pulled him into his lap while Kendall grabbed his legs and placed him comfortably in rest.

Kendall was physically drained. His head ached, his muscles screamed in agony, and his body struggled to find the energy to stay upright. But nothing compared to the way his heart constricted at the sight in front of him. Staring at Carlos's still form in James's arms, watching as the tears fell down his friend's face as he continued to stroke Carlos's cheek, listening to him beg Carlos to wake up, was heartbreaking to witness. He wished he knew the words to stay that would take away the persistent sadness in James's eyes, that would make the tears go away. But, the only things Kendall could offer were tears of his own as he realized the saturation on his own cheeks. Wiping the wetness from his face, Kendall tried to provide some kind of comfort toward James; however, the words had barely left his mouth when a scream of pain cut through the once silent cabin.

"Ahhh!"

"Logan!" Kendall screamed, as he turned toward the direction of the noise. He made to run into the room where Gabriel took Logan, but paused briefly as he realized he would be leaving James with Carlos.

"Kendall, go! Logan needs you. I'll stay here with… Car-Carlos," James said, urging Kendall to go to Logan's aid.

Kendall didn't need to be told twice as he raced through the door.

Logan looked so small as he laid on an oversized bed in the middle of the room, trying to move out of the reach of Gabriel's probing hands. This was obviously the older man's bedroom, but Kendall had little time to admire the decorations as Logan let out another cry of pain as Gabriel tried to examine him.

"What's going on in here? What are you doing to him?" Kendall asked angrily toward the man who was causing Logan to make those horrible sounds. However, if Gabriel seemed disturbed by the angry tone, he didn't show it.

Sighing, he lifted his hands away from Logan and turned to face Kendall. "Your friend has a really serious rib injury. It's so painful I can't even touch it without causing him some pain. But, I need to examine him to see if there is anything that I can do to help his breathing, which is being compromised because of his ribs. Maybe you could help keep him calm while I look him over."

Kendall didn't think he could stand being near Logan in pain, just the mere thought of having to watch his friend endure any degree of agony or anguish too much for him to handle. But, he nodded at Gabriel's words as he approached the other side of the bed to grab the hand of his suffering friend. Logan's closed eyes opened instantly at the contact.

"Ken- K'nd'll?" Logan stuttered, through quick intakes of breath.

"Hey, I'm here, buddy. I'm right here," Kendall whispered, as he squeezed Logan's hand affirming his presence with his touch.

""H-H-Hey," Logan said, his eyes lighting up at the sight of his friend, while his face remained etched in pain. "Wh- Wh'ts go-go'in on?"

"It's okay, Loges. Everything is going to be okay. We made it to the cabins. And this man here is going to get you all fixed up and then you'll be just fine," Kendall reassured, trying to convince not only Logan but himself as well. "But, it's a going to hurt a little bit. I need you to be strong for me so he can get you better. You think you can do that?"

Logan gave a slight nod of his head, granting Gabriel permission to begin his examination, but his face betrayed the bravery he hoped to convey.

Gabriel grabbing various instruments from his first aid kit began to cut away at the right side of Logan's clothing. Cutting through the many layers of clothing that Logan had piled on to keep warm during their trek through the snow, he only accessed the right side of his chest, keeping the layers intact over the rest of his body to protect him from the cold. However, even that didn't come without consequence. While Logan didn't scream out in pain like he did before, his face showed that the action was not pain free.

"You're doing great, buddy," Kendall encouraged, but Logan's eyes remained closed as he endured silently, only offering a grunt in response.

Kendall watched as Gabriel placed his hands on the right side of Logan's chest, counting the misshapen bones. Logan hissed at the contact but quickly bit his lip to keep the cry at bay. His breathing however quickened in anticipation.

"Shhh, it's okay, son," Gabriel whispered. "Slow breaths. Control your breathing."

Placing a stethoscope to the base of his chest and then moving through the right, Gabriel listened to his lungs. Kendall could tell almost immediately by the older man's grim face that something was wrong. He couldn't be sure, but he believed he heard Gabriel mutter an expletive under his breath.

"What? What is it?" Kendall questioned, already dreading the response. Surprisingly, it was Logan who answered.

"Pn-pneumothorax," Logan replied, staring at Gabriel for confirmation, who had a startled expression, but slowly nodded his head in affirmation.

"Tension," the older man added, causing Logan to close his eyes in dread as he echoed Gabriel's earlier sentiment, "S-S-hit."

"Wait, what's going on? What's a pneumo - whatever? What is that?"

"Like I told you before, your friend's rib injury is very serious. But it's worse than I thought," Gabriel said slowly. "He broke a few ribs. One of his ribs punctured his lung, causing his lung to collapse. With every breath he takes, air is being trapped in his rib cage since the collapsed lung is unable to get air out. All this air is pushing against his heart and his other working lung, forcing them to work harder to compensate for the collapsed lung." He paused briefly, as if afraid to continue. He looked to Logan, seeking permission to say the words he was about to say and Logan granted it. Sighing deeply, he continued. "With no way of exiting, the amount of air in his chest will just increase until his heart and lung can't work anymore… until h-he…"

"W-Wa-Wait… what? N-N-No! You can't let that happen. You have to help him," Kendall yelled, as he realized what Gabriel was about to say. "Please, y-you s-s-said. - you said you would try to do whatever you could to save him."

"I know. And I plan to." Gabriel said, his eyes never leaving Logan's. "You know what I have to do, don't you?"

"C-C-Ch'st t'b…" Logan stuttered.

"What? What are you talking about? What does he mean?" Kendall asked, still reeling from the older man's previous words.

"I'm going to insert a tube into your friend's chest cavity to release the air that trapped and relieve the pressure on his heart and his good lung," Gabriel replied, simply.

"Wh-what? You're going to do what? Have you ever done this before?"

"A few times on the field," Gabriel said, distractedly as he sorted through his first aid kit for all the necessary materials he needed for the procedure. However, he stopped when he noticed the tone of fear in Kendall's voice and turned to reassure him once again. "I was a medic in the army for 40 years. Believe me, I have done this before. Not in a situation like this, but I am confident in my ability to do this. Your friend will be fine."

Kendall could only nod his head, grateful for the words but still fearful about what was going to happen.

"Alright, kid, I'm going to put some liquid on your chest. It's just going to disinfect the skin before I put the needle in. It's going to feel a little cold," Gabriel said as he painted a generous amount of brown solution all over the exposed skin on Logan's chest. As predicted, Logan jerked away from the contact, but immediately relaxed after his body adjusted to the temperature. "Okay, I'm going to place the needle in. You," the man said, pointing to Kendall, "Hold him down as hard as you can. It's going to be painful as hell, but I can't have him moving too much. The last thing we need is for me to lacerate his lung and cause an air embolism."

"Can't we give him anything to knock him out so he doesn't feel the pain?"

Gabriel shook his head at the question. "We can't risk giving him anything that's going to slow his breathing or his heart rate. He needs to be awake for this," he replied. However, sensing Kendall's hesitation at the idea of holding Logan down, he continued. "Just keep him as still as you can. Do you think you can do that?"

Words seemed to escape Kendall. He couldn't seem to produce the words to answer Gabriel's question. He knew he would do whatever he had to to ensure that Logan was okay, but did that mean causing him pain in turn. Kendall didn't know if he could withstand watching his friend endure such a great deal of pain.

Logan provided him with the answer, as he squeezed Kendall's hand, providing him with the courage to do this. He smiled and whispered, "'t's ok," causing a smile to appear on Kendall's face on its own accord. Logan needed him and he would do this to help him.

However, the smile quickly left Kendall's face as he saw the long needled instrument that Gabriel held in his hands. Looking toward Logan, the look of anticipatory fear was etched all over his pale face. He tightened his grip on Kendall's hand and squeezed his eyes, awaiting the excruciating pain he was sure to feel. Kendall braced himself for the pain as well, mentally preparing himself for the severe aching his heart would surely endure. As gently as he could, he positioned some of his weight over Logan to ensure that Logan didn't move too much from the action. He turned to Gabriel, signaling he was ready. Gabriel offered a brief look of compassion to both Kendall and Logan just before he stuck the needle into Logan's chest.

As soon as the needle pierced the tender skin of his chest, Logan unleashed a shrill cry of anguish, that continued until his voice was raw. He attempted to pull away from the needle due to the pain, but Kendall shifted his weight, immobilizing him and preventing his back from rising off the bed. his head pressing down on the pillow under him, and tears slowly trailed down the side of his face. His hand formed a vice grip with Kendall's, squeezing his hand with such pressure, that his fingers turned pale due to inadequate blood supply. While Kendall was aware that Logan's grip was indeed hurting him, the pain didn't even scratch the surface of the suffering his heart was going through as he watched Logan wither in agony. His breathing had quickened from the pain, producing the most horrible sounds choking sounds to fill the room. Kendall could only hold his friend down, as he pleaded silently for Gabriel to finish the procedure.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a high pitched whistle escaped the needle in Logan's chest, causing Logan to expel a huge intake of air. He gasped for breath, coughing as his lungs began to expand once again now that the air was released, and yet it was the sweetest sound to Kendall's ears.

Lifting his weight off of Logan, Kendall stared at his friend, amazed at how he now breathed with ease.

"It's okay, Logie," Kendall sighed in relief. "You're okay now, buddy."

However, out of pure exhaustion, Logan could only nod his head as he felt his eyelids grow heavy, allowing the darkness of unconsciousness to pull him in.

Kendall watched as Logan's features relaxed, as the hand that held onto his became slack in his grasp, and momentarily panicked. "Logan? Logan, wake up! Come on, wake up, buddy. You can't -

"Hey, it's okay, kid. He needs to rest. He's been through hell and back. He's probably exhausted. Let him rest," Gabriel cut in, stopping Kendall before he shook Logan awake.

But Kendall continued to refuse. "No, he needs to wake up. We need to make sure that he's okay."

"He is okay. Look, he's breathing much easier. His respirations are even and his heart rate is getting closer to normal. I will be monitoring his vitals every hour to make sure there is no change. But right now, he needs to rest. And so do you."

Kendall knew that what the older man was saying made sense. Even though the dark bruises stood out horribly against Logan's pale face, Kendall had to admit that Logan did look much better. But after being strong for so long, he could no longer process coherent thoughts.

"N-N-No, I have to make sure. He has to be okay. They all have to. James and Carlos, they have to be okay, too. I can't lose any of them. I don't what I would do if I lost any of them," Kendall mumbled, as he fought against Gabriel's attempts to lead him to a wooden chair in the room. Kendall could feel his heart beating through his chest, his breathing quicken as he tried to get more air. Was the room spinning? Why couldn't he think straight?

"Relax, kid. Everything is okay, now. It's time for you to rest."

"No, I can't rest! I have to make sure… I have to make sure they are all alright. Because I can't lose them."

"Your friends are fine. They will be fine. Why don't you rest? I will watch over them for a little bit," Gabriel replied, as he got Kendall to finally sit in the chair. But, within seconds, Kendall was up on his unsteady feet trying to make his way to the living room to see James and Carlos.

"N-No, I-I can't r-r-rest. I have to… I have to protect them," Kendall muttered, as the room began to spin at an alarmingly fast speed. While he was able to fight through the pain for so long, black spots assaulted his visions as his body teetered dangerously close to its breaking point.

Turning his head, Kendall hoped to offer the older man more words of insistence before he attempted to try to get him to sit down once again. However, he was greeted by two Gabriels, both staring back at him with worried expressions on their faces. The black spots had progressed to double vision and Kendall found himself having trouble hearing. He could make out in his hazy vision that Gabriel's lips were moving, but could only make out certain words. He wanted to tell him he was fine, but the idea of forming words was foreign to his foggy mind, darkness slowly engulfing the edges of his vision. Kendall was able to slur an incomprehensible " 'm f'ne" before he felt his legs buckle under him and his head made contact with the floor. He could make out sad blue eyes staring at him just as his eyes closed into the painless oblivion of unconsciousness.

Author's Note #2: Again, I apologize the insanely long wait. But, I couldn't go a whole month without updating this story for you wonderful readers and amazing reviewers. I hope you enjoyed the longest chapter so far filled with angst and I hope all the Kendall lovers enjoyed the Kendall angst as well. Coming up in the next chapter, more Kendall angst, we learn more about our hero Gabriel, and things get worse before they get better. Thanks so much for the support and sticking with me through it all. It truly means the world to me!


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